You can't get a job without a phone.
You can't get a phone without a house.
You can't get a house without a job.

Maybe this will break the cycle....

Anyone ever heard / seen - Bum Fights?

Yeah, bloody gave me a copy of volume II or something. Fuked up. The homeless with the gold shopping cart was hilarious.

I think that dude (mascot bum) ended up sueing those rich kids after he sobered up.

Brainchild of another government program. Why the fuck do we pay these people?

Two homeless drunks are wandering through the streets at an ungodly hour scrounging through rubbish bins, dumpsters and such for their dinner. The first guy looks up and says 'hey, I just found a dead rat- you want some?'

Whereupon the second shakes his head in disgust and says 'no way, are you outta your mind?!?'. The first guy says, 'fine, more for me' and proceeds to scoff down the dead rat.

About 20 minutes later, the first guy finds a dead squirrel. The second again refuses his offer to share, and the first again chows down on the offensive fare. Less than 10 minutes after that, the first finds a dead cat, and the same scenario unfolds. Later that night, the first guy vomits up the entire contents of his stomach.

'AHHH!' says the second. 'Just what I've been waiting for... a hot meal!