Fart Facts
All you could ever want to know about farts...

by drcube 2065 Reads
on Wed Jun 09 2004 Add to your ClipSwarm
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wolferWed Jun 09
 
my farts are pretty fukin loud because i have a tight sphincter
 
 
DumbskullThu Jun 10
 
Physics of Pharts. As my brain begins to turn to mush I actually find this very funny.
 
 
BeachGoatSat Jun 12
 
Upon the day which has not broken
When all are tight in dream and sleep
A muffled fluffing barely spoken
From underneath the ruffled sheets

In snooze so deep as none disturb’d
The bedmate shifted turning over
The edge of blanket gapped and blurbed
The thing from underneath the cover

Upon the floor the first to notice
The faithful dog at foot of bed
Her ears dropped back and whimpered voice
Proclaimed the coming of the dead

The atmosphere grew thick and foul
Almost to touch solidified
Escaped in sleep from Satan’s bowel
Where something crawled inside and died

Woken by a scent most rancid
I sat up straight and proclaimed with a gasp
‘Saints preserve us, this air is like acid’
So I grasped at the window and fumbled the hasp

Dawn’s first pink light had begun to creep
O’er the hilltops with shining fingers
I opened the window and out like sheep
The blackened herd that will surely linger

The birds, who’s day-song speaks at morning
Migrated to a cleaner place
While some, too slow to heed the warning
Dropped like stones from outer space

Upon the trees the leaves turned brown
And curled and fell as if in Autumn
The bugs lay twitching on the ground
When touched by the gas blown from my bottom

The meal consumed the night before
Was simple and harmless, so it seemed
But I’ll never consume the same substance no more
For fear of the foghorn in my dreams

An Original BeachGoat Poem
 
 


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