Who wrote this article, an 8th grader?

'not far from where a surfer was killed by ravenous sharks.'

'Schafer was about a quarter-mile offshore when the beasts attacked and began tearing at his flesh'

'the sharks had taken a 10-inch chunk out of his right thigh and bitten up his buttocks'

Hmmm, sensationalize much?

When I read this, I had this sudden vision of a jealous girlfriend putting mackerel oil in his sunscreen bottle...

h, his full time occupation is probably as a political blogger.

Update, re: the heroic lifeguard, and his rescue attempt.

Person: Hi, I like to hang out in the ocean with sharks that might eat me, and then they eat me, and then I'm dead.

LinkSwarm: lol, sharks ate you

hoyaguru: Hmmm, sensationalize much?

Which is funny, because, it's as sensational as possible already, by virtue of being fucking sharks.