This dude has it all wrong! Hillbillies and rednecks are two completely different things.
Some facts about real hillbillies:
Real hillbillies live in wooden shacks in the mountains. Probably somewhere in East Tennessee. They adorn there homes with human bones and dead (rac)coons.
Real hillbillies eat only two things: Moonshine and people.
Real hillbillies weigh in at no at less than 250 pounds; the children are full-grown at birth. They all have beards that start in their ear canals and nostrils. No matter the sex. You can usually spot them in flannel shirts and home-darned denim pants, but sometimes they like to hunt (you) buck naked.
If you run into a hillbilly in the wild... you're fuked. They don't like black people, and they don't like you. They hunt with pickaxes, garden hoes, and the occasional musket. They have the reflexes of a bobcat and the speed of a mongoose. They can climb trees, or simply cut them down.
Have you spotted a hillbilly within a two-mile radius? They've already smelled you. If you have a gun, by ALL MOTHERFUCKING MEANS, use it. On yourself.
In conclusion: this is what I know about hillbillies, and now it is what you know too. I hope I have made all of your brains better.
Sincerely,
Albuterol
