so much for a lifesized Barbie

um ok

Seven and a half grand each? You can buy a fuckload of real pussy for that if you aren't too fussy.

That's a whole lot of roses

is that still a funny joke, i'm not sure whether i can still claim i have a sense of humor if i laugh

The roommate just noted that although the BOY TOY does not banter endlessly there is the matter of routine maintenance and cleaning that a live bitch will do herself!

If you can afford one of these babies, you can afford to hire a street-hooker to clean and maintain it for you.

'Cleaning:
The body of the doll can be cleaned with a mild soap and warm water as needed. You can safely submerge your doll in a bathtub for short periods if desired. Powder your doll with talc or baby powder to eliminate stickiness after drying. Boy Toy Inserts can be cleaned with warm water and a small amount of antibacterial soap. We recommend cleaning the inserts separately from the doll body. Dry all parts thoroughly before replacing them in the doll.'

Did you see the 'Inserts' for these nasty-assed whack-a-moles? You can change out their teeth/mouth part in case you punch the bitch in face for talking back or playing dumb. You can swap out the face when you're tired of looking at (pissing on) the old one and change the eyes (& lids) to look euroethnic to please your sad little fantasies.

But the worst image, the one that will haunt me as I drift off to sleep, is that deflated hot water bottle crammed into the groin of the manniquim, colored like an angry hemorrhoid, whoopie-cushion fart lips nozzling off of a puckered sea cucumber, a vulcanized pocket of shame and filth tucked into an rubber soulmate, a washable pustule of failure, tears, & repressed republicanism.

Icky!

Talk about high maintainance!

'...that deflated hot water bottle crammed into the groin of the manniquim, colored like an angry hemorrhoid, whoopie-cushion fart lips nozzling off of a puckered sea cucumber, a vulcanized pocket of shame and filth tucked into an rubber soulmate, a washable pustule of failure, tears, & repressed republicanism.'

I didn't want one until I read this.