I've approved this garbage as an object lesson in how perfectly confused it's evidently possible for a human to be.

Now, why on earth would I want to overcome masturbation?

Let's post ways to facilitate masturbation.

--Line pockets with travel sized packets of personal lubricant to reduce friction burns and be ninja ready for when the opportunity arises to rub one out.

Insert hardcore porn into every piece of information you read during the day... Some Hustler shots clipped out and placed in your bedtime book, taped to the back of your morning cereal box, embedded in the TPS report you are working on, spliced into your saved TIVO shows, crumpled up in your car's change dish, etc.

All day long, you will be showered with explicit pictures that will drive you to the nearest private refuge for a brief moment of release. To increase the surprise factor, have a loved one or friend do the porn sprinkling for you.

The King of New York

Ingredients:
1 3lb weight, compact (e.g., mammoth fishing weight)
1 giant foam finger
4 surgical rubber bands

Insert penis into giant foam finger. Create erection. Using 2 rubber bands, secure giant foam finger tightly to base of penis. Using remaining 2 rubber bands, attach lead weight to far end of giant foam finger.

Roam freely with erection comfortably ensconced in endless roller-coaster of jizz.

When you must finally stop roaming due to dehydration or catastrophic accident, giant foam finger may be employed as prank mayonnaise feed-bag in nursing homes.

Give up masturbation? Fuck that!

'control your thinking.....'
never mind.

Kill yourself blog79

I read something like that, I have to crank one out, just to balance out the universe again.

Try an often-overlooked technique, the EUROGRIP. Instead of holding member in hand with your thumb pointing away from you, try an overhand approach (knuckles on top). For added luxury cross your fingers to simulate the mangled European vag and asshole, or wear your rings turned around with the diamonds in the fists.

Added accessories:
Beret
Perfume
Cigarette

Eurogrip, you deserve it.

'After you bathe, don’t admire yourself in the mirror.'

As if I could do that! Why deny myself perfection?

Nice Fucking Banner Ad too, That's a sure fire way to destroy a perfectly good chubby.

You can win this fight! The joy and strenght you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment. Mark E. Petersen, Council of the 12 Apostles

Five Ways to Over-Come: Masturbation

I've overcome masturbation three times today already.

Eurogrip hurts.