now where did that brown recluse spider go....

When The Jars first arrived from outer space, they appeared to be nothing more than simple household food containers, of course, with a convenient twist-off lid. But when they flung their mind-control web over most of the Northern Hemisphere and started turning their "owners" into retarded-looking statues, that's when we knew something was up.

Oh yeah, that cheating bastards dick will fit in there, plenty of room for his nuts too.

I wonder if that will fill my turkey baster?

The Seventh Annual Polish Staring Contest turned out to be a huge success.

Hmm... I wonder if this jar could possibly contain the great and awesome power of my mullet...

Inspired by the smooth, uncomplicated lines of a well-washed Skippy Peanut Butter jar, Mrs. Franny Tapple deliberated on a new hairdo. "Skin is so in... I just hope the kids don't call me Skinjob..."

Jarring!

mmmmm....Alan Jackson's fart.
Thank You Ebay!

So this is where I was conceived!!!