If I were elected supreme being, my first motion would be to wipe out all the non-believers in the scientific method and reason.

How would I select those to be re-educated? By making them watch this film.

The first sign of a head nod in approval or verbal affirmation of the presented stories, they would be summarily marched out of the room, never to be seen again. Their processed corpses would be used to feed the younger, more promising members of the society.

Hey, maybe Hillary can get this into the Democratic platform in '08?

Awesome. This has convinced me at long last that evolution is false. The suble use of irrefutable arguments woven togehter in a clear and cogent manner leaves no room for doubt.

I bet this plays in the bathrooms @ Nascar races and gun shows. Yee-haw.

Wow. Look, the origin of life is estimated to have occurred 4 billions of years ago. Earth was created about 4.5 billions of years ago. There are BILLIONS of chemical reactions occuring on the surface of Earth every second. And they had about 100,000-200,000 years to happen as the Earth was cooling off.

I'm sorry, you just don't have this sort of experimental density in the food industry all over the earth, and that's including all food products (even ramen noodles!)

So they take the theory that lightning struck an ocean full of amino acids for billions of years before a single-celled organism was formed, and they extrapolate that you should be able to put peanut butter in the sun and form dinosaurs. Disbelieving evolution proves a fundamental misunderstanding of the science involved.

But what if there IS new life -that looks and tastes like peanut butter and reproduces very slowly? A cusory glace with the naked eye might not detect it.
I'm afraid these experiments were done sloppily. The scientific method now requires them to test billions more jars and this time run every gram through a high tech machine to check for life.

I need a triple no fat whipped thai chai milk after reading this one...

I'll have a 'new life, peanut butter and jelly' (NLPB&J) sammich, please.

All hail the Jiffy monster.

When I was a kid I liked to stick that stuff in my dogs mouf and watch it try to finish it.

Why do you all hate Jesus and America so much?

Did Jesus HAVE a penis?

Did Jesus jerk off?

Did Jesus wear black nylon stockings and a garter belt ?

I don't know whether Jesus does any of those things, but I do know that his edging is immaculate, and nobody does the hedge like him.

Oh wait... we are talking about my gardner, aren't we?

Also, I think I heard somewhere that he wants to go to Venus.

You couldn't have picked a better title for this submission.

ooops... Crapfuk.
I meant subtitle.

what the fuck?

these guys are retarded/eats poopies, etc

Reductio ad absurdum

Beyond specious

Wait, wait, ask me again...

I totally agree, because out of the 1 million sperm spewn into your mother the one time she let your father's man-tainted cock inside of her, there is no chance that a person as stupid as you could have been produced. It is ghod's will that that a dumb fuck like you walk the planet as a warning to us all.

I'm always baffled when people try prove something is false by attacking a point that has NOTHING to do with the topic.

Last I checked, evolution has ZERO to do with the origin of life, or how life came to be. I know it as the simple (rediculously simple) way in which life changes. Fucking trial and error over billions of years.

Trying to discredit evolution because you can't make it explain the origin of life is like trying to discredit oragami because it can't explain the creation of paper.

You always know you're dealing with someone who embraces an anthropormorphic superstition when they begin an argument against evolution with the phrase, 'Evolution teaches...'

These retards just cannot break from their invisible white father in sky paradigm.

evolution schools little d00ds