They include just enough info to make me think that it's a made up story to embarrass some chick. Hilarious in either case.

Definitely fake. They wait a half hour to call police? A frat house full of men are so disgusted by a female masturbating on their couches that they will actually throw them away?

^They're probably a bunch of fags, anyway.

uh huh... sounds pretty improbable.
Girl masturbates in frat house.
'EEK! someone call the cops!!'
Sure.
Darn near feasible.

What if she was some scraggly as tweeker bitch? If some fugly chick walked into my pad and wanted to rubberbumpkin Id want that nasty ass shit off my couch too.

Though it does make for good thoughts thinkin of some hot chick walkin up and getting all juicy on your couch.