I've got all kinds of fucking issues with this one. First off, filthy fucking canadiennes had better get their shit together and right quick. We're spreadin' democracy throughout the land and you're on the fucking list, motherfuckers.
'Ontario parents awake to find 45 cm snake cuddled up on baby boy'
goddamm metric system is fucking stoopit. what the fuck is a cm anyway? 45 cm is like 7 feet, right?
'The month-old boy also had a small bite on his neck.'
a small bite? a small snake bite? or are these fuckers cannibals too?
'The parents told police their son was sleeping in bed with them and they awoke at about 7 a.m. and spotted the snake.'
A'ight, this one is fucking serious. break that fucking habit IMMEDIATELY. this 'family bed' bullshit is just that... bullshit. get that kid out of your bed and into a crib this instant you sick twisted pedophile mother fuckers.
'The black and white reptile, a non-venomous California king snake, is about 45 centimetres long.'
Yeah, we get it. 45cm = 7 feet. stop repeating yourself. it makes you sound stoopit.
'It had slithered away from an neighbour's apartment, where it was kept as a pet.'
snakes are not fucking pets. they're blood thirsty man eating spawns of satan. this fucknut neighbor needs to stop putting the rest of us in danger in a sad and noneffective attempt to impress chicks with how dark and misunderstood he is.
'It was lying on the shoulder-neck area.' said Cont. Glenn Hodgson of St. Thomas police.
They waited for the cop to arrive before removing the SEVEN FOOT SNAKE from their baby's neck?
The animal control officer in the southwestern Ontario city was is investigating.
animal control officers don't 'investigate'. animal control officers smoke pot and drive the van that scrapes roadkill off the street. and, what is there to investigate? they gonna charge the snake with B&E?
this is your last warning. you canadienne fuckers are pissin' me right the fuck off.
