jesus fuck. i waver between whether this is a hilariously pathetic or depressingly pathetic display.

Tuesday, July 2, 2002 Today I ate a co-workers apple. I saw it sitting on their desk at work for a couple of days now. It was going to go bad! If they ask where their apple went, I'll just tell them that I bet the cleaning man threw it away because he doesn't want mice in the building. UPDATE: I fessed up to eating the apple on Wednesday. The person really didn't seem to care. And I bought them an apple of my own on Friday, but once again, they didn't eat that apple either. So I brought it back home and ate it Saturday. I'M NOT A THIEF!

Hi. My name is Marlene. I make enough money to pay rent and bills and have some to spend on the side, but lately I've been thinking that I want to start saving up money on a regular basis for the future, like if I want to buy a house or something someday. Unfortunately, I can't really afford to save up that much because I want to be able to buy cute shirts and shoes and CDs, and go out to the bar with my friends and buy booze for a party. I can't do all that if I don't have spending money, so please send me any extra cash you have so I can afford to continue living my same exact lifestyle but can also have money to put away somewhere without having to work any extra hours or get a second job or anything like that. Thanks! Love ya! Bye!

Do you accept Canadien Currency?

I must have forgotten to mention that part: Gilders only, please.