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▷Which is the right beer for you? (A SelectSmart.com Beer & Breweries selector quiz, personality test) This is a simple test designed to figure out which beer is best suited for you. It is has situational questions so that you can return on different nights with different budgets/frames of mind/aspirations and the exam will produce different answers suited for each occasion.
Which is the right beer for you?
4 votes. Cast your vote on the results page. There have been 9,937 visits to this page. Created January 2001
A SelectSmart.com® Selector
By Mike Neilson (Search Google for other selectors by Mike Neilson)
This is a simple test designed to figure out which beer is best suited for you. It is has situational questions so that you can return on different nights with different budgets/frames of mind/aspirations and the exam will produce different answers suited for each occasion.
  • This SelectSmart.com/FREE selector is a creation of the author named above. The implicit and explicit opinions expressed here are the author's. SelectSmart.com does not necessarily agree.
    • 1. Do you feel like spending less than $20 on a case of beer?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    2. Are you looking for a dark beer?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    3. Does your hair often attract attention when you are in public (has anyone ever whispered/yelled the word "mullet" while laughing and pointing)?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    4. Do you think of yourself as being a pretty smart person?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    5. Do you like the taste of yak's blood, vomit, or Coors Light?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    6. Are you easily confused by bottles, especially ones that aren't twist tops?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    7. Have you ever punctured holes in a can of beer for the purpose of drinking it faster?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    8. ...ever tried it with a bottle (retard)?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    9. And how about those fine malt beverages in "perfectly sized" 40 oz. containers? Do you like them?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    10. Do you puke often?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    11. Do you like those little tiny umbrellas in your drinks?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    12. Do you like to discuss politics?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    13. Do you drive a foriegn car?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    14. Do you watch NASCAR?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    15. Do you refer to soda as "pop"?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    16. Do you like a good cigar?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    17. Does "Lite" beer seem a little weak to you?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    18. Do you like Mexican beers?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    19. ...how about Mexican beers with urine?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    20. Are you in college
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    21. Are you cheap?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    22. Are you trying to impress a girl?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    23. Are you just trying to get drunk enough to forget that you just got laid off from some stupid dotcom, such as "selectsmart.com" ?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High
    24. Is Queen Elizabeth II hot or what?
    Yes   No   Not Sure
      What priority do you place on your selection above?
    Low
     
     
    High

    One final question, besides your Beer & Breweries interest, which single phrase best describes you today?
    I want money saving coupons on popular brands and products.
    I'll be taking a lot of photos over the holidays.
    I want to save money on baby stuff.
    I want to be rewarded for giving my opinions.
    I want online bargains and gift ideas!
    I take care of my skin.
    I'm none of the above.
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