vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth   SSHOLE |
Posts: 4533 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/19/2002 at 15:18  |
I do. It's true.
It's all plumbing, after all, and if you run hot water while you're having a slash, there's no messy clean-up. I do it mostly when drunk, although there's no guarantee the urge won't strike at any time.
Is this a foul habit? Is it wrong of me?
Not that I'll stop.
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Argyle
Tender vittles  Posts: 4 Registered: 3/31/2002 Offline
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4/20/2002 at 20:11 |
It's not so strange. When my first child was a baby, I was always scared of waking her when she slept by flushing the toliet.
The sink is basically silent. Of course, I never told the wife, she'd freak. |
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vonbek
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 56 Registered: 3/9/2002 Offline
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4/21/2002 at 02:05 |
Back in my dorm room daze, when we'd have girls over for drinks, they'd use the sink in the room. The toilets were way down the hall, and it was always after hours in a mens dorm. No ladies allowed. I loved the look on there faces when we told them. " I have to pee where?". hehehe
That dorm has since gone coed. Bummer for them.
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MOMAD
That Weird Stain on the Ceiling  SSHOLEPosts: 449 Registered: 3/12/2002 Offline
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4/21/2002 at 20:49 |
I've had to squat in weirder places. So for those ladies, awkward as it was, at least it was a sink. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4533 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 12:43 |
Speaking of squatting, and weirder places: in Dublin, I lived with this English girl who had spent a year or so crawling around India. What was unusual, in her experience, wasn't so much the elephants wading through monsoon-type weather right down main street in your average Indian village, but rather all the street lights when she got back, and the cars, and the shoes you wear on your feet in Western Civilization.
This might explain why one day, as we were walking along the street in Dublin which gets the most foot traffic, and she decided she really had to piss, she moved over to a shop wall, next to a potted plant or something, knelt down with her back against the brick, slipped her pants down to her knees, and pissed right there. In the streets of Dublin. At about 1:00 PM on a Saturday afternoon. With not the least trace of shame or apprehension.
Her piss ran in a thick streamlet right to the sidewalk's edge and fell over into the street. So it wasn't like it wasn't pretty much obvious to everyone what was going on.
The other surprising thing about this is that no one really noticed.
Boy, that girl had moxie. |
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MadTurk
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 167 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 14:07  |
When you have an appliance custom fit and prepared for the purpose of pissing into, why resort to the area where food is prepared? I mean, I wouldn't make toast on the stove when I have a perfectly good toaster! I'm glad that you run the hot water at least and don't just leave it sitting there for others to wash up in.
http://www.angelfire.com/punk/science/skyler/sweethomealabama.html
[Edited on 22/4/2002 by MadTurk] |
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MadTurk
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 167 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 14:14 |
I'm all grand with the idea of being able to piss in public tho'. Hey, when ya hafta go, ya hafta go.
[Edited on 22/4/2002 by MadTurk] |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4533 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 15:31 |
Turk: Why dismiss the toilet?
Possible reasons: A) It's occupied with other humans or is stopped up. B) I'm fuking lazy. C) I'm cocked and I know it's going to make me laugh, standing on tip-toe with my pants shucked back while I desecrate some kitchenware.
In the case of A, the sink in question is often the bathroom sink, which is a mite less disagreeable to daisy-toed folk who cringe at the thought of kitchen pissing. (Read: your slef.)
In the case of C, I'm always right, by the way.
Also, GeoCities put the smack down on your externally linking some of their content. You've got to copy the link and paste it into your browser's location bar to get there -- clicking the link itself won't work. (Just a note to those who want to read a nice comparison between myself and Alabama rednecks.) |
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MadTurk
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 167 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 16:51 |
You're poignant response mentions:
"A) It's occupied with other humans or is stopped up."
Hold it or fix it.
"B) I'm fuking lazy."
A worthy response to point A's solutions. I understand the head in your joint is quite a number of steps from the sink. However, that didn't stop you from manifesting the aggregious story of grief that was the Hell Shit. If you are lazy, why not go the extra step and just start pooping in the sink?
"C) I'm cocked and I know it's going to make me laugh, standing on tip-toe with my pants shucked back while I desecrate some kitchenware."
I have no witty reparte to point C because, as you so adequately mention, "in the case of C, I'm always right, by the way."
And Geocities' AngelFire can eat my bunkus for not direct-linking. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4533 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 19:36 |
You're poignant response mentions:
"A) It's occupied with other humans or is stopped up."
Hold it or fix it.
For an explanation of why "fix it" is not always the best idea, I refer you here. Sometimes, you just get to the point where it seems best to let things sit -- and, with luck -- soften through water application until they can pass through your local piece of the sewer system on their own. Or let the landlord deal with it, in severe cases.
"B) I'm fuking lazy."
A worthy response to point A's solutions. I understand the head in your joint is quite a number of steps from the sink. However, that didn't stop you from manifesting the aggregious story of grief that was the Hell Shit. If you are lazy, why not go the extra step and just start pooping in the sink?
A fine point. However keen an idea it might seem to start pooping in the sink, I submit that it is *not* a good idea. If you disagree, please trial out a few days of sink-pooping and report back. Photo evidence of your journey through porcelain madness will be rewarded with something cool from my attic.
I have no witty reparte to point C because, as you so adequately mention, "in the case of C, I'm always right, by the way."
I *am* always right about that, and the image of me chuckling while pissing into my sink just makes me chuckle more.
By the way, two of the last five times I've been to your pad, I pissed in your sink.
:D |
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MadTurk
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 167 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 20:38  |
WANTED: Bon Ami sink-cleaner, prefer by the case. 555-Klondike7 |
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard  SSHOLEPosts: 1665 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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4/22/2002 at 22:29 |
hahaha. turk's got a pissy sink!
i've only pissed in a sink once (that i can remember) and that was at some frat-ish party. thinking back on it, it was pretty satisfying, actually. perhaps i shall try again sometime. anyway, my friend scrubbed the toilet with one of the toothbrushes, though. *shudder* yeah, i think he beat me.
reason A isn't really valid unless your toilet is stopped up and only an inch from overflowing. i mean, really, what's a little more piss gonna hurt?
i grew up in a very rural area. on nights i'd stay up obscenely late and veg out with the tv and its accessories. if i had to go, i'd open the door, step onto the porch, and piss off the side. how refreshing. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4533 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/23/2002 at 14:00 |
kHz used to have this great apartment with Chris. His room was this surreal, atmospheric cube of airy light -- it was a great room to get drunk in. Time passed slowly. One night we were chilling there with Chris and Macrus, and we'd all been drinking since 9 AM -- well, just me, I suppose, but we were all happily soused -- and I decided to piss a few beers' worth out the window. Now, before you begin envisioning me standing near his window with my piece ready to grant liquid favor to the concrete floors down, realize that his bed was up against that wall.
This means that I pissed out the window while lying down on his bed, with my body contorted against the window in much the same shape you'd have to be in to piss out the window of a moving car. I'm pretty sure I got a little on his pillow. He didn't care.
(In unrelated geographic piss-news, Puerto Rico is fun because you can piss on lizards with the greatest of ease. In fact, you often find yourself doing it on accident. A happy accident.) |
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sahlgoode
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 254 Registered: 7/6/2005 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 04:08 |
The Restroom Combo Unit:
After urinating, you flush, then walk away from the perfectly clean flowing water over to the faucet to wash your hands in some other perfectly clean flowing water. Combine the urinal, the sink, and the hand dryer into a mega restroom appliance. Also prevents lines at the now nonexistant faucets or driers.
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Acidburn
I am El Chupacabra  SSHOLEPosts: 804 Registered: 8/1/2004 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 04:11 |
I thought that I was the only sink pisser in this crowd. UNITE brothers!
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You got Down Syndrome so bad you probably have up,left and right too.
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This is Rabbit. and it kills everyday.
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1926 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 04:41 |
Acidburn: I thought that I was the only sink pisser in this crowd. UNITE brothers!
The one and only time I saw the B & C do this he was ducking frunk. I think he also pissed off the 3rd floor balcony one night as well. 
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JohnLenin
Putting the semen in amusement  SSHOLEPosts: 1101 Registered: 7/8/2005 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 05:00 |
"There's a difference between peeing IN the pool, and peeing INTO the pool"
-Dimitri Martin
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Stump
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 310 Registered: 6/18/2002 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 06:11 |
Holy Shit! Where's the Timewarp on this one? On a related note, I'm happy to see Megarad is still up, I remember the Evil Brown story from when it first went up. |
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shitbox
my balls your chin, get used to that idea  SSHOLEPosts: 957 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 06:45 |
Ive pissed in the sink many a time, usually drunk in some shithole bar. Sheeit, ive pissed in walk-in closets THINKING I was pissing in the sink in the bathroom, ive pissed on chix too!
Gawd im glad i dont drink anymore. VAS...tell us more about dublin, when and how long did you live there?
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BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 07:53 |
But its just the right height, and in the same room...
Years ago, a friend of mine was the pilot on a little riverboat / restuarant that floats on the Bay and does a cocktail cruise. One night he's puttering along in the pilot house, which is upstairs and over the bar (complete with a bank of windows), and Wild Bill comes up to stagger & bullshit. After a few minutes, Bill whips it out and takes a whiz over the side. Almost immediately, the phone rings from downstairs, and the bartender says,"Hey, you wanna slow down a little? You kicking up spray and its getting on the bar glasses."
Thought I'd never stop laughing.
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sahlgoode
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 254 Registered: 7/6/2005 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 08:54  |
^Golden!!! BG. Coffee came out my nose.
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Lefen
I think Clavis wins my heart <3  SSHOLEPosts: 903 Registered: 9/16/2003 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 10:04 |
Back in university, my flatmates and I used to take great pleasure in pissing all over the car of the fat arsehoel bastard we shared with.
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4533 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 11:54 |
Wow, flashback.
shitbox: VAS...tell us more about dublin, when and how long did you live there?
I was living there when I turned 22 so it must have been in 1996. Timothy Leary died the day I flew into Limerick. I only lived in Dublin itself for 8 or 9 weeks but it seems more like a year to me now. The landlord was a sleazy dude who had been to America and figured out how to slumlord real well, but the house was nice. I had been hitchhiking for a couple months beforehand, mostly on the West coast (Galway rules) and I was happy to have a bathroom I could camp out in.
A few weeks after I got there an English chick from Bristol moved in and cheated on her boyfriend back home, who eventually came over and hung out for a few weeks and taught me how to play the didgeridoo. His name was Barry and he was a 6'6 hippie but he was cool. I remember him saying "Most Americans are dodgy, but you're sound" in his swoopy modulated Bristol accent. We went to a Rainbow festival until I couldn't stand it anymore. (Less than 24 hours elapsed. It was the fuking singing.)
There was a guy named John living there who turned 30 while I was there. He spent his birthday talking to a tree out in a park with twigs in his hair. He came home and said he had met a dude who was thousands of years old. I think this news was accepted without skepticism by the other 3 people living there. He was entirely serious.
Grainne (sp) ("gron-yuh") got pissed because I never did the dishes. She was sort of cute and called me Jack for some reason when she wasn't mad at me. She had a boyfriend who was cool but would come into my room drunk when I was sleeping to sneak off with my harmonica late at night. Always pissed me off. It was B minor or something. Sounded gypsyish.
They would drink my coffee. This also pissed me off cause one thing the Irish do NOT get is coffee. They'll charge you a pound in a cafe for a single cup of instant coffee; no refills.
Derbhael (sp) ("der-vul") was older and into film and loved Jim Jarmusch. She took care of me when my mood sucked.
The Irish language is fun because it bears relatively zero fuking relationship to English pronunciation. There's a portion of Ireland which is primarily (in some places exclusively) Irish-speaking called the Gaeltacht. Outside of this region, Irish is largely dying out, so most (all?) Irish schools recently made Irish courses mandatory.
We lived in Rialto, a really nasty part of town. People would call about the extra room and we'd tell them where it was and they'd usually hang up, one guy after going "RIALTO, NO THANK YOU."
Some rich American fuck tried to stay there for a bit. He wanted to store his motorcycle in the hallway. He was there on daddy's money sailing around the coast. A real fag. I was living out of a very small backpack and had a $20/day budget, most of which went to beer and lodging.
I was reading Naked Lunch and various books by Vonnegut at the time. I didn't care for any of the Vonnegut. When I finished a book I'd leave it on a bus or a parkbench for someone else.
I found only one ATM in all of Dublin which would take my Navy Federal Credit Union ATM card, and it was right at what I thought of as the center of the city, across the Liffey river at the head of OConnell street. I had to brave swarms of beggar children. This was where I realized I could break myself subsidizing begging and so stopped.
I was hanging out with this group of kids who went to school together about 30 minutes out in a place called Blackrock or Swords or something. They were awesome. The girl I was sort of dating broke down and cried like a fetus on her front porch when I left. This was terrible. She claims I took her virginity, but I was and still am skeptical. Her parents were relocated English and her dad was driving me to the airport for my flight to London and the dad was the perfect image of English awkwardness the entire ride. I felt like a heel. She taught me to cut tomatoes with a bread knife, not because she did it, but because she showcased how lame it was to try and cut a tomato with a regular knife.
I had to leave the house in a hurry -- don't actually remember why, something about the sleazy landlord trying to bilk me out of an extra month's rent -- and when I peaced out, John called me at the aforementioned crying girl's house, thinking I was trying to skip out of all rent, and threatened me with Reiki attacks over the Atlantic. I was and still am skeptical. (I of course paid my rent nonetheless.)
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Evildigitz
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 143 Registered: 4/6/2004 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 12:23 |
I remember when me and my wife (gf at the time) got our first place together - I got very drunk whilst down the pub and in the middle of the night had to go (remember - unfamiliar place) I was still dreaming whilst actually doing it - in the dream I had found the bathroom with no problem and was happily pissing in the loo, reality smacked in when I was awoken by a loud electrical crackling sound. I had walked round the bed in my sleep to the wardrobe opened it and started pissing away. The piss was falling from my piss faucet down on to an unpacked plastic bag, bouncing off of that down all over a 4-way power extension socket (240v at 50hz yo!) Needless to say I somehow survived zapage, not sure how tho'
I asked my wife not to mention this embarrassing episode the next day - so she told her mum instantly of course.
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard SSHOLEPosts: 1665 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 13:52 |
while we're reliving... (not my story)
i had a friend in college who, when the second year started, joined the orientation team. all that meant was you got to move in a couple days early so you could help freshmen move in and then point out the buildings and shit. naturally, the o-team was drinking heavily every night of this endeavor. so my friend got crazy drunk the first night. it was super hot in the dorms, he was in a new, unfamiliar room, and he had to piss terribly. he exits the room and is squinting in the hallway. for some reason he decides to go across the hall to some other o-team guy's room, and the guy's door is open. he said at this point he was desperately trying to find the toilet (where the fuck is it?). then he gets a genius idea and chuckles. he can piss in the heating unit and no one will ever know!
it wasn't until next morning he remembers what he did. we couldn't tell whether the guy knew or not. maybe he slept right through it.
he also pissed in my roommate's full laundry basket one night after i had moved out. i have no doubt that asshole deserved it.
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BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 14:55 |
Wind Wings on cars were a wonderful thing. Just the right height, my lizard would fit right into the crack and saturate the driver's seat. Very discrete, and most satisfying.
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HOBO
* b0bo has quit IRC ('Exit')  SSHOLEPosts: 1144 Registered: 3/19/2002 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 16:33 |
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" I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question." ~Spock~
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Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 22:07 |
vasudeva: Wow, flashback
I for one, believe this story. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4533 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 22:59 |
Haha, check out what I found.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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JohnLenin
Putting the semen in amusement SSHOLEPosts: 1101 Registered: 7/8/2005 Offline
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10/7/2005 at 23:12 |
What the hell are you saying in that vid? Also, shouldn't it be in the "pathetic halloween costume" thread?
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[Clavis_A] he's one of the few people i've ever seen that bear a striking resemblence to their own dick |
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