mudvayne_69_69_69
Pride of Canadia  Posts: 979 Registered: 6/19/2003 Offline
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8/14/2003 at 13:10  |
This is awesome. This is the first pornsite I've found in years that I'd actually advertise to swarmers. When you first load it up, it looks just like every crappy scam site out there, except that it's real. It's huge, it's updated constantly, there's no spam, no popups, and no bullshit -- and it's completely free. When you sign up through that link above and respond to the confirmation email, I make a bit of loose change. See what other swarmers have to say about it. People love this place, so I feel fine about sending you there and am confident you will enjoy boners. The thread below is what brought you here, but chances are by now the images are broken, the passwords don't work, and you can't get shit to load. You're welcome to try, of course, but This is your best bet.
 Don't forget to respond to the confirmation email , or you won't get in, so check your spam filter, pervert. This message is only shown to anonymous peeps coming in from other websites looking for porn. Registered users are not shown any ads here. Now, on to the original post... I thought I'd share with you all, my worst sexual experience ever, and I doubt that anyone can top this...but if you can, by all means, reply to this post and share your experience with the rest of us.
OK so I was fucking my girlfriend missionary style, (Girl on her back on the bottom with legs in the air, guy on top, pounding the shit out of her, just incase you didn't know). So were going at it pretty hard, when one of her hand ventures down south and she starts rubbing her clit. Now I start to really get into it, pounding the shit out of her. when I drew back some, I popped out, but I was going at it so fast I never noticed, and when I went to thrust again, I wasn't inside, I actually just pushed my dick up towards her clit.
Now you remember when I said she was playing with her clit...well she still was, and she had really long nails...and all of a sudden I had this massive pain at my nob, and when I looked down there was blood shooting out everywhere... She thought I was done, but when she saw the horrified look on my face, she new something was wrong. she then saw all the blood all over her, (Which she thought was cum) and she freaked.
So I run to the shower, dripping blood everywhere. I turned pale white, I was shaking and really worried that my girlfriend really fucked up my dick.
Now everyone knows, when you get a cut anywhere, it hurts like a motherfucker when you get it wet. Now imagine that on the tip of your dick...IT FUCKING SUCKS. So there I am in the shower with my girlfriend looking on in shock...I try to pull the skin back to wash the blood away and get a peek at the damage, but it hurts way too fucking much.
What happened was the little flap of skin that connects your foreskin to the tip of your pisshole, got sliced...Badly. Now I was gonna go to the doctor to see if I could get referred to a urologist, cause I was really worried, and when I showed up to the doctors office, my mucking medicare was expired, and my doctor would not talk to me unless I forked over 45$, To which I never had.
So to make a long story short...I had to refrain from sex, looking at naked chicks, watching porn, dirty jokes...(Pretty much anything that would give me a hard on) for over a month till it healed...And now I have this little flap of "Extra: skin hanging from the tip of my nob.
The only good thing that came out of this is, I'm still with my girlfriend, and when ever I want something, I just bring up this incident, and I get my way...
Top that horror story motherfuckers...
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth   SSHOLEPosts: 4415 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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8/14/2003 at 13:15 |
Top that horror story motherfuckers... That sucks mightily, but ok.
The Girl Who Didn't Wipe Good Enough
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To win, you must fight not only the creature you encounter; you must fight the most horrible thing that can be constructed from its corpse. |
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mudvayne_69_69_69
Pride of Canadia Posts: 979 Registered: 6/19/2003 Offline
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8/14/2003 at 13:53 |
MAN...I'm at work and the chat section is blocked out...could you do me a favor and copy what it is and paste it in here...please oh please... |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4415 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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8/14/2003 at 14:05 |
Chat section? What is that? If you mean you can't get to the link because of some kind of anti-surfing software, you can always try this:
Click me
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To win, you must fight not only the creature you encounter; you must fight the most horrible thing that can be constructed from its corpse. |
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mudvayne_69_69_69
Pride of Canadia Posts: 979 Registered: 6/19/2003 Offline
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8/14/2003 at 14:33 |
OK, that worked, but when I click on part 2, its blocked by the stupid web filter my work has installed here...FUCK...
Wait.........
OK then.........
When I click on part 2 the URL comes up fine, but it says it was blocked...@ the end of the URL it had a 4 digit number and I figured it was the article number...so I copied that over in the URL that starts with neptune, ans it worked fine...
Strange. |
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mudvayne_69_69_69
Pride of Canadia Posts: 979 Registered: 6/19/2003 Offline
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8/14/2003 at 15:20 |
Yeah man that was disturbigly gross, especially after she comfronted you, and she opted to do nada...Fuck man...Heres one that happened to a friend of mine...
My friends friends girlfriend was out of town, (We'll call this guy Bob) so the boys decided to go to the bars, and hopefully pick up. So after a night of serious drinking Bob eyes this chick, whos actually quite a looker, and he's getting the same looks from her, (not knowing if its the beer goggles that he's gotten thats making her look so hot in the bar), he walks up to the chick and strikes up a conversation, and after a while, we see him leave the bar with her.
The next day we all meet up again, and were all telling our stories of the chicks we took home, when in comes Bob with a look of serious disgust on his face...Anyways as the story goes...he took the girl home, nad they were already ripping each others clothes off before they got into the door. They got to the bed, and he went down on her and noticed she was unusually wetter that any other girl he'd slept with...Oh well...so after hes done eating the bitch out, they fuck. Now this girl cums and cums, and cums, (3 times according to Bob, but we guessed mabye only once) Now everytime she comes, she gushes like a motherfucker, and he get soaked everytime. After the deed is done, they roll over and go to sleep.
So Bob wakes up in the morning time and chicky is long gone...he's not sure if she left at night or in the morning, but he's thirsty, so he goes to the bathroom to get a drink...as he walks in and looks in the mirror, he notices his face is RED...fucking BLOOD RED...all over his face, and especially dark around his goatee...The chick must have just started or been on the rag when they fucked. So he washes his face as good as he can, but you can still see some blood stains on it, but he'd worry about that later on...He was more worried about his girlfriend coming home and seeing the bed, (which he guessed was stained as well)...He was SOOOOOO RIGHT!!! He went to the bedroom, pulled off his blankets, and right in the middle of the bed was ahuge puddle about the size of a garbage can lid, dark red, almost purple, cause it started to dry...now he was freaking, cause he could easily get rid of the sheets, and put new ones on, but he guessed the matress was ruined, and that was harder to hide, (he could filp it, but the stain would still be there). He lifted up the sheets, and to his luck, there was a small foam matress under the sheet that absorbed everything, and not a drop got to the matress.
So he chucks everything in the fire place and it just starts to burn, when who walks in, but his girlfriend. Obviously the guy was busted, and to this day, his nickname is REDbeard. |
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kHz
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 448 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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8/14/2003 at 17:29 |
I will never be able to have sex... thats pretty bad.
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Razor blades, toothpaste, a large wooden spoon, chainsaw, the color red, and candycorn. |
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