vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth   SSHOLE |
Posts: 5342 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 14:27 |
All PayPal subscriptions have been cancelled because PayPal suddenly noticed we have 'objectionable material' and doesn't want to be associated with us. I blame Straydog's dead hookerpussy. Amusingly, they even cancelled my ability to use that account to buy shit off eBay, for some reason, so I literally have no PayPal account whatsoever. I tried to appeal but for naught.
I spent the better part of the weekend moving us to Amazon subscriptions only to find, after wasting my brain on their terrible goddamn Flexible Payments documentation labyrinth, that Amazon feels the same way about our activities. At least they told me before I had you all create new accounts there.
Hold tight. I won't let your Alpha accounts expire. I'm trying to find some other place that will allow us to process simple donations without charging me an arm and a leg, and it's slow going.
I'll post a new thread (and create a link to it on the front page) when I figure something out. If you happen to know of an inexpensive place, let me know -- TrustCommerce agrees with PayPal and Amazon, and authorize.net is 'pretty sure' it won't be a problem but are slow getting back to me with pricing and confirmation of the 'pretty sure' bit before I tell a few dozen people to sign up at a second place. I'm also aware getting a small merchant account via Bank of America might be an option though I think it's going to be expensive.
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lbp> I'm going to have a food baby out my anus
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LOki
Refusenik  SSHOLEPosts: 494 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 14:39 |
All PayPal subscriptions have been cancelled because PayPal suddenly noticed we have 'objectionable material' and doesn't want to be associated with us.
LinkSwarm wins . . . again. |
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bobacus
SENATOR BABYHEAD  SSHOLEPosts: 220 Registered: 10/2/2007 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 15:16 |
How do pornsites get their moneys? I bet those services would let Linkswarm play.
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work in progress,brb......... |
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nurglets
a wet brain fart  SSHOLEPosts: 653 Registered: 10/18/2006 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 15:18 |
its probably the_rat notching up his complaints a level or 2.
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angering the perpetual ham chimp |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get  SSHOLEPosts: 1284 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 15:27 |
I hear that - how many fucked up porn sites offer subscriptions? I would imagine that they charge a bit more for their service, but maybe that's just what you need to do here.
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"My teacher was walking closely behind me, so i abruptly bent over feigning tying my shoelaces, using my clenched buttocks to batter his groin area" Nurglets |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 5342 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 15:40 |
Porn sites work on volume... we have like 30 Alphas.
As I had feared, authorize.net is pretty fucking expensive...
Payment Gateway Account
Setup Fee $99 (reduced from our standard $299 rate)
Monthly Gateway Fee $20
Gateway Per -Transaction Fee $0.10
Merchant Account (If you do not already have one)
Per-Transaction Fee $0.25
Monthly Statement Fee $9.95
Monthly Minimum Fee $25
Visa/Master Card Qualified Discount Rate 2.19%
By my read, that's $55 a month just to have a relationship with them. On top of that they'd take a slice of each payment.
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lbp> I'm going to have a food baby out my anus |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum  SSHOLEPosts: 2052 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 15:49 |
Why not just have LBP set up a PayPal account and use that indirectly?
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"Has had his post-modern iPutz run over by the MEEPCORE wagon." - Clavis_Apocalypticae |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get SSHOLEPosts: 1284 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 15:52 |
Yeah, who said it needs to be set-up through Linkswarm? Just open a new account via the wife and accept payments through other services, like consulting or something.
http://payments.intuit.com/pricing/ is a cheap alternative to paypal, asking only $12 a month in fees.
On 2009-05-27 at 15:53:17, dent asked to smell your dick
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"My teacher was walking closely behind me, so i abruptly bent over feigning tying my shoelaces, using my clenched buttocks to batter his groin area" Nurglets |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum SSHOLEPosts: 2052 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 15:56 |
Right-O. Just reword the FAQ to say, EMAIL ME FOR SUBSCRIPTION, then let it all happen through the LBP, offsite.
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"Has had his post-modern iPutz run over by the MEEPCORE wagon." - Clavis_Apocalypticae |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 5342 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 20:11 |
dent: http://payments.intuit.com/pricing/ is a cheap alternative to paypal
Jessica: Hello, thank you for chatting with us today. How may I help you?
qwe: Does this service present a credit card form for the customer to fill out?
Jessica: There may be a form available in the Quickbooks software, or you can get the forms through an office supplies store.
Jessica: Which version of Quickbooks are you using?
qwe: i dont use quickbooks
qwe: i'm looking at the intuit credit-card processing services
Jessica: I see. Then you can create your own form, or get it from an office supplies store..
Jessica: Are you looking at the Online Terminal service?
qwe: yes
Jessica: Great. All you need to use this service is a PC with internet access.
Jessica: What services or goods do you offer?
qwe: i run a website that accepts subscriptions. users currently set these up themselves via paypal.
qwe: will they be presented with a form they can use to enter their own credit card to set up the payment?
Jessica: This service will allow you a simple way to process payment information, that you will need to collect yourself.. So, you will need to create your own form, or get the forms from an office supplies store.
qwe: when you say office supplies store, do you mean a piece of paper? because i'm talking about a web form.
Jessica: Yes, I do mean paper form as this service (Online Terminal) only offers manual processing.. So you will get the information and you will key-enter, or you will get the card and you will swipe.. There is no option to have your customers enter their own information online..
Jessica: If you need this, then you would need your own webstore..
qwe: thanks, that's what i've been trying to figure out
qwe: toodles
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lbp> I'm going to have a food baby out my anus |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get SSHOLEPosts: 1284 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 20:21 |
Ugh.
I better not get a paper form in the mail from you.
try this for options:
5 Paypal Alternatives
OboPay
Ikobo looks decent
On 2009-05-27 at 20:29:31, dent asked to smell your dick
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"My teacher was walking closely behind me, so i abruptly bent over feigning tying my shoelaces, using my clenched buttocks to batter his groin area" Nurglets |
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ragoo
We are not amused.  SSHOLEPosts: 709 Registered: 9/4/2004 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 23:32 |
lol paper |
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MstrLance
Honorificabilitudinitatibus  SSHOLEPosts: 359 Registered: 2/7/2008 Offline
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5/27/2009 at 23:53 |
ATTN ALL ALPHAS: Please print this out, complete the form, scan it back in, and email to Vas.
Problem solved.
________________________________
Credit Card: [ ] Visa [ ] Mastercard
Card Holder's Name:
Credit Card Number:
Expiration Date:
SSV:
Telephone:
Fax:
Mother's Maiden Name:
Passport Number:
Date of Birth:
E-Mail:
Billing Address:
Card Holder's Signature:
On 2009-05-28 at 00:03:30, MstrLance asked to smell your dick
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"Clearly My sandy vagina wasn't going to use full electricity.... So My sandy vagina decide to slow down..." - wotak |
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fastlane
Zombie scream style  SSHOLEPosts: 782 Registered: 2/7/2004 Offline
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5/28/2009 at 01:36 |
or we could just mail you cash or rubber check to rented PO box.
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"Christ, I'd rather be afflicted with permanently infected hairy arse grapes than be subjected to another minute of your drivel." - Sleep Talkin' Man |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum SSHOLEPosts: 2052 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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5/28/2009 at 23:17 |
MstrLance: ATTN ALL ALPHAS: Please print this out, complete the form, scan it back in, and email to Vas.
Problem solved.
________________________________
Credit Card: [ ] Visa [ ] Mastercard
Card Holder's Name:
Credit Card Number:
Expiration Date:
SSV:
Telephone:
Fax:
Mother's Maiden Name:
Passport Number:
Date of Birth:
E-Mail:
Billing Address:
Card Holder's Signature:
Cocksize:
Proof that you've fucked MstrLance (photo evidence):
WTF?
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"Has had his post-modern iPutz run over by the MEEPCORE wagon." - Clavis_Apocalypticae |
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GrapeApe
Crisco Fux  SSHOLEPosts: 281 Registered: 10/20/2005 Offline
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5/29/2009 at 02:42 |
Keep it simple and do what Dent and Wotak said and just set up a paypal payment through the wife or even just start a new email and set up shop again. Make a D.B.A. for Linkswarm, call it Mack Enterprises and good to go, do they need to know the connection to linkswarm? Add an extra ducket to the subscription price to cover paypals cut too while your at it. |
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Steel
If you want to keep your tongue, don't lick me in the Winter!  SSHOLEPosts: 580 Registered: 10/14/2004 Offline
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5/29/2009 at 03:41 |
Will you accept poop on a plate in lieu of PayPal? Because if so I know someone who can provide this in installments to you if needed. |
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jwalker
Token Discordian  SSHOLEPosts: 1067 Registered: 8/6/2005 Offline
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5/29/2009 at 06:28 |
we have 'objectionable material'
You should all be ashamed of yourselves.
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We don't need no crowd control. |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum SSHOLEPosts: 2052 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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5/29/2009 at 12:26 |
Dear Wotak,
Your subscription payment to Vasudeva for LinkSwarm Alpha failed on May 29, 2009 because we deleted that niggers account.
We will try to make this subscription payment again on Jun 3, 2009 because we're fucking retarded and, whatever.
Love, PayPal
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"Has had his post-modern iPutz run over by the MEEPCORE wagon." - Clavis_Apocalypticae |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum SSHOLEPosts: 2052 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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6/4/2009 at 18:27 |
Bump.
Any progress on this yet, Vas?
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"Has had his post-modern iPutz run over by the MEEPCORE wagon." - Clavis_Apocalypticae |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 5342 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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6/4/2009 at 18:34 |
Wotak: Bump.
Any progress on this yet, Vas?
Some. I'll use you as a guinea pig before I let everybody in.
Everybody, keep your eyes on your private messages, and please make sure your email address is updated in your profile.
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lbp> I'm going to have a food baby out my anus |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum SSHOLEPosts: 2052 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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6/4/2009 at 19:25 |
vasudeva: My sandy vagina'll use you as a guinea pig...
Awesome.
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"Has had his post-modern iPutz run over by the MEEPCORE wagon." - Clavis_Apocalypticae |
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Clavis_Apocalypticae
Beautiful Puppet of Chaos  SSHOLEPosts: 1095 Registered: 5/16/2004 Offline
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6/5/2009 at 16:43 |
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Enjoying my fucking iPad. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 5342 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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6/19/2009 at 15:33 |
OK, I've figured out a new place that'll handle our subscriptions. To start out small, I've started PMing some of you with the link and sign-up instructions. Keep your eyes peeled and if I've missed you, PM me and let me know. I won't let anyone's Alpha account expire til, say, 7/19, to make up for the hassle.
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lbp> I'm going to have a food baby out my anus |
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truenative
I'm what makes bread wonder.  SSHOLEPosts: 461 Registered: 1/6/2005 Offline
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6/19/2009 at 15:54 |
vasudeva: OK, I've figured out a new place that'll handle our subscriptions. To start out small, I've started PMing some of you with the link and sign-up instructions. Keep your eyes peeled and if I've missed you, PM me and let me know. I won't let anyone's Alpha account expire til, say, 7/19, to make up for the hassle.
Guess I should have waited to pay but its in.
So in short, fuck you right in your bullshit pussy PayPal!
I'm glad we can continue distributing our offensive materials
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I live for Warm Beer and Cold Women! |
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Apocasicarius
00  SSHOLEPosts: 25 Registered: 10/7/2008 Offline
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6/30/2009 at 00:38 |
truenative: vasudeva: OK, I've figured out a new place that'll handle our subscriptions. To start out small, I've started PMing some of you with the link and sign-up instructions. Keep your eyes peeled and if I've missed you, PM me and let me know. I won't let anyone's Alpha account expire til, say, 7/19, to make up for the hassle.
Guess I should have waited to pay but its in.
So in short, fuck you right in your bullshit pussy PayPal!
I'm glad we can continue distributing our offensive materials
Dumbass lol |
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