Steel
If you want to keep your tongue, don't lick me in the Winter!   SSHOLE |
Posts: 508 Registered: 10/14/2004 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 12:59 |
So I finally get home last night after work, picking up the boys, going to Canadian Tire for components to fix my yard hose... I'm hot, I'm tired... I've taken my shirt off and tossed it in wash...
There's a knock at the door... I feel self conscious for a sec (I'm not a particularly toned dude), then say fuck it and walk down the stair to talk to WORLD VISION!
Wooo just what I wanted. Two dudes here to talk to me about the little dying kids in Africa... I see the dudes eyes dart down an look at my gut..ugh... now I feel weird... Maybe he was thinking how many lives could have been saved by what I have eaten in excess... or maybe he wanted to lick my belly button... not sure...
Now I had no intention of giving money to these guys... I may sound like a asshole... But I have heard to many storys about the mishandling of funds from Charities... My Dad worked for a dude running for MS and told him horrors...LK has told me stories of his own World Vision experiences (Or whatever needy kid help group KrazEeyes donates to).
These guys however are slick... Their is a knowing smile on his face and he says with a chuckle...Oh I'm not here to sell you anything... Have you ever considered helping a child through World Vision?
FUCK! Yes or No... If I say No he will go itno a long schpeel... Yes I say...
Perfect he says and hands me three pictures of kids and thier stories... I don't have to pay anything right now, I just have to pick a kid I want to help and he will get me on the phone with World Vision...
I say... Woh... I thought you weren't selling anything? You are selling a childs happiness here... their chance for a better life...
He says... Yeah I guess I am!
Sorry, not buying today... Have a good night...
The dudes look dejected as they walk to the next house in my long row...
I go back upstairs feeling asshole-ish and mad at the same time... My wife asks me to wash the pots... I start to get iritated...I'm tired...but I see the pile of other dishes she just did... so fuck it...
I'm scrubbing pots... and thinking... about little dying Africans... you read stories... no food? no water? living in little villages getting killed or raped? no schooling? Destined to fucking sit in the dirt allowing flies to land on them for the rest of thier lives... If they are lucky maybe they can grow up and join the militant groups that do the raping and killing?
What if I could remove someone from that environment? Hmmmm.... OK... there are so many things wrong with this idea... but... What if I have a group in Africa find me a 20 year old dude who wants to live a better life and provide for his family back home...
What if he comes to North America on a work program to be my Butler?? Train him in the fine art of Butlering... Don't scoff at Butlers... Real ones rock out! Anywhoo... what if I feed this dude, house and cloth him... what if I give him $100 a week that he can send to his family in Africa...
In return... he does my chores... cooks the meals for my family?? Yeah I know... bad idea maybe... What if we had an agency... brought one over per household.... slavery right??
I had an awesome arguement with my wife this morning where at first she agreed that no one could argue that the conditions and atrocities that these folk face are the worst possible... no one could argue with that she said... nothing could be worse for them...
Then after I explain my idea... I am the devil  So demeaning to them she says... I would be a slave master she says...
My response... you would rather see a human die of starvation before he comes over and irons my shirts and washes my dishes??
Save a life! Hire a butler!
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HOBO
* b0bo has quit IRC ('Exit')  SSHOLEPosts: 1122 Registered: 3/19/2002 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 13:24 |
I would prefer a maid
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" I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question." ~Spock~
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get  SSHOLEPosts: 858 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 14:03 |
^ Thread closed.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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nurgleming
a wet brain fart  SSHOLEPosts: 162 Registered: 10/18/2006 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 15:49 |
i fucking hate charities that employ people to go round begging on peoples guilt trips. heard them called chuggers before, charity-muggers, i call them cunts. if im gonna give a charity money i'll choose who and when i'll give. on time some street "chugger" came up to me and the wifey and started prattling on about partner/spousal abuse, i turned round and said my missus loves being abused and beaten for a joke, the guy got mad. cunt.
anyway, dont feel bad about africans, the celebs are busy adopting all the best ones anyway.
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nothing on the Internet is so serious it can't be laughed at, and that nothing is so laughable as people who think otherwise |
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acheron
Cynical_Malcontent  SSHOLEPosts: 559 Registered: 4/29/2004 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 16:07 |
I hate the whole concept of charity. It's unamerican.
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I'm an INTJ. This explains why I'm alternating between silence and judging you. |
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 921 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 18:59 |
i think this would be more popular with clayeaters in the south.
i guess maybe with a lot of slaves, food prices would go down because i could get some fresh veggies and shit right down the road. hmmm...
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bwned. |
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Steel
If you want to keep your tongue, don't lick me in the Winter! SSHOLEPosts: 508 Registered: 10/14/2004 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 20:23 |
Hey man! Not slaves... Paid employess that you saved from a destitute life! That produce will be delicious won't it? |
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES Posts: 921 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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6/3/2008 at 21:38 |
Steel: Hey man! Not slaves... Paid employess that you saved from a destitute life! That produce will be delicious won't it?
honor in death.
bitchitude in ironing.
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bwned. |
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