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JohnLenin
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 954 Registered: 7/8/2005 Offline
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4/26/2008 at 00:10 |
I recently saw a similar thread elsewhere and thought I'd bring this idea to the swarm.
So, what stories do you have of your parents being embarrassing as fuck all while you were growing up?
When I was really little my mom and grandma had a talk about cock size in public that lasted for what seemed like forever. Most of the embarrassment in my life came from having to stand around while my mom got bitchy with store managers and such, which happened a lot. All I could do was cast a sympathetic look toward the poor sap getting his face talked off. The worst thing my dad ever did was yell "YOU FARTED!" at me when we were at someone else's house. He then proceeded to get up and be comical about it for a good 5 minutes; spraying Lysol and covering his exaggerated grimace with his shirt collar.
Mine are pretty boring, but now it's your turn.
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schrodinger's dick in a box.
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get   SSHOLEPosts: 797 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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4/26/2008 at 02:29 |
My pops took me on a 2 week long-haul trucking trip when I was 12. I remember having to piss one day and not being anywhere near a truck stop, so he told me to piss in a plastic soda bottle. I proceeded to aim my nubile junk into the cap hole and chucked it out the window. Because I was careful, I only lost a few drips while pissing cause I had shoved my piss-hole against the opening of the bottle, creating a seal. From that day on, which was January of 1987, my father has told everyone on earth that my dick fits in a diet pepsi bottle, down to the balls. For the last 21 years, he's reffered to me as DP, aka Diet Pepsi. Even my wife does it, and she knows it's not true.
As far as mother, bless her heart, I would need 3 pages to write that out.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1843 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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4/26/2008 at 05:00 |
I was just a tot of three when I procured a ball point pen from Mom’s purse and went to town drawing anatomically correct life size stick figures onto my “rents” white linen sheets. Mom didn’t yell or appear to be upset but did emphasize she could not wait until Dad came home. Rut Row When Dad came home later that evening Mom busted out in tears of laughter when she held up the SHEET and then said she thought she might be able to soak the ink out… Dad would not hear if it and said the SHEET would be preserved FOREVER! I heard them both laughing hysterically for the rest of the night although at the time I didn’t know why. I fell asleep with a peculiar understanding that I had someone escaped punishment.
Fast forward 13 years; a cute cool guy from HS was knocking on the door to pick me up for a real date. After nervous introductions and before my date and I could escape, Mom and Dad bust out the SHEET announcing there will be NONE OF THIS TONIGHT!
Oh Gawd NOOOOOO!!!!!!
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I am a fine wine: smooth, full bodied.... goes down easy. |
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QWERTY, DROP THE WURTHER'S ORIGINAL, AND STEP AWAY FROM THE CHILD!!! -- LORDKAHUNA
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