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SSHOLE

Posts: 718
Registered: 5/27/2005
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9/12/2007 at 11:10

LinkSwarm: I would like to apologize for being a complete douche. I've been sitting here for over an hour this morning trying to think about how to do that and I can't think of a way to get started.

So, I think I should at least start by explaining how this thread came to be. It started with an e-mail. Here is the text of that e-mail:

Vas,

I would like your opinion. How should I admit that I'm the total douche bag formerly known as wotak?

Look, I understand that I have a SHITLOAD of shitty deeds to own up to. Especially shitting all over Kahuna. I just don't know how I should do it.

I have felt like such an asshole for the way I behaved after buying that fucking alpha account. I've gone back and read a few of the shitty things I've said and I can not even begin to tell you, Kahuna or anyone else how fucking idiotic I feel about the whole thing. I would like to apologize to everyone but I also understand that most of the key players have no reason to forgive much less forget.

Look, on the level, I'm sorry. I know that's only a few more words from some asshole on the internet but I mean it. I would like your advice on how to attempt to make amends. I mean that seriously.

I know that you and Kahuna and SexNinja and probably others already know who I am (awshit/wotak). I expected one of you to out me by now but you haven't. It's cool if that's the way you think I should own up, make amends and eat the many shit sandwiches I deserve to eat. I would like to participate in the site but that's really not up to me. I think it's up to you.

So, yeah, I don't know what else to say. It's cool if you blow this note off. I'd understand, believe me. If you'd prefer I just leave your site alone and not participate, I'll do that as well. I just want to make amends. Especially to Kahuna.

To be honest, I half expected Vas to ignore me and the e-mail but he didn't. A short time later I received this:

Oh goddamnit. Why do you always disappoint me in the fun department?
I knew we weren't subtle enough.

I'm not stopping you from using the site, and I never did, and
probably never would. You could stand to be a lot less smarmy in
general, though.

If I were you, I guess I'd go back to using the wotak account, and
make a thread and do the big unveil and whatever, and proceed as
your conscience directs.

That's what I'd do.

But WWWD?

I cringed at the thought of actually doing this. I never wanted to log on to linkswarm as wotak again. It's like pulling on an old shit soaked rubber suit that fits really tight and squeezes my already queezy guts into vomit mode.

The exchange continued:

I'll do that If that's what you think I should do. I have no idea what the password is. I haven't logged onto that account in quite a while. Can you send that to me?

I had to look this word up:

Smarmy: Etymology: smarm to gush, slobber
1 : revealing or marked by a smug, ingratiating, or false earnestness
2 : of low sleazy taste or quality

I guess that fits either way.

Should I make a forum thread or journal thread?

...and Vasudeva's final reply was:

Your password is ****************

Your contrition is creeping me out, so I'll just let you post your
thread wherever you think it fits. You haven't forgotten how this
stuff works.

So, that is how this thread came to be. That is also how I came to be standing here before you in this shit caked-wotak suit with vomit on my little chin.

Now that this post has been started and those of you not in the know are up to speed, I would like to make a very public and very sincere apology to the swarm. I am sorry for being a completely retarded, hyper-sensitive, dick head.

I would also like to apologize to LORDKAHUNA 7 million times. I singled you out of the swarm to shit on because I could never be as witty and funny as you are. Instead I just tried to be as mean as possible. Of course, that only served to make me look even more moronic and insipid and I'm pretty sure my sophomoric attempt at wotak-vengeance did nothing but make you laugh... and rightly so, but that doesn't change the fact that I owe you an apology. I just thought that it should be as public as the feces I continuously vomited into the internet.

Ok. I can't really think of anything else to say so I guess this would make as good a closing line as any.

LORDKAHUNA

Don't make me fuk your moustache

This is LORDKAHUNA's unique avatar. You shall bow!

^SSHOLE

Posts: 1632
Registered: 8/5/2003
Offline

9/12/2007 at 11:29

1) LOL (textwar)

2) No worries dude.

wotak: vengeance did nothing but make you laugh

I miss this, I really do, it was like like little meow-grrs every week.

For the record tho, I think swarmers should fill this thread with all the cocks you (want) deserve.

____________________
the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim