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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache   SSHOLE |
Posts: 1669 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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7/18/2007 at 19:41 |
Wow, my boss is a giant asshole.
I was just informed that our organization is being shuffled yet again, nobody is getting sacked but the secret handshakes are all getting switched. I get a new ambiguous title that I can’t even remember (this happens so often that I don’t print business cards to save embarrassment), and a new team.
The major change is this:
Boss> “Kahuna, I will be taking a higher approach so you need to route day to day info through illiterate shithead who cannot discern the difference between the IRA and the IRS. Said shithead will demand all manner of pie-charts (delicious) and detailed minutiae regarding what it is that you do even though you are not entirely clear what that is. In the event that information exists that is too important to cram through aforementioned shitfilter, feel free to visit my office located adjacent to yours and relay that information directly to my hat. Any questions?”
I had a million questions, but couldn’t think of one I could actually ask. Usually I have no difficulty stating opinion or speaking out about any given subject, but I just shuffled back to my office, defeated.
Ok I only got halfway to my office; I doubled-back and proceeded to ask him exactly WTF. I also railed long and hard about his choice of shitfilter and just how stupid this whole business was.
Boss> “I know!”
LK> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boss> “My boss said I had to organize shit like this”
LK> “Dude, I am like, so, confused ok?
Boss> “Werd!”
Now I get all this, it happens, but what happened next baffled the fucking shit out of me.
Boss> *forward pic*
Shot at 2007-07-18
LK> Huh, that’s a beige person making gravel
Boss> Wow, seeing pictures like that can really put your job in perspective.
LK> Um…yeah.
:motivate:HEY KAHUNA, AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT BREAKING ROCKS :/motivate:
Write your Dickboss story below, and yes I know this has been done before, lets make it fresh yo.
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the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get  SSHOLEPosts: 884 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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7/18/2007 at 21:05 |
My dickboss jerks off at work. Beat that.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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7/19/2007 at 03:43 |
My boss pretty much blames me for everything that goes wrong in the office. Also, I am convinced that he is illiterate. While I have no actual evidence that my employer is engaged in shady dealings, per-se, I do have a boatload of evidence that a particular individual that my employer does a lot of work with is. |
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JesseCuster
Tender vittles  Posts: 12 Registered: 7/31/2007 Offline
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8/2/2007 at 22:54 |
dent: My dickboss jerks off at work. Beat that.
Dude, I thought I told all you fuckers you weren't allowed to use the internet at work?
Stay the fuck out of my office.
On a more thread-related note, back in the days of yore when I was still on active duty in the Navy, I was the Ass't Ops Officer on a warship. One of my jobs was to go to the weekly Planning Board for Training (aka PB4T). This is a meeting where basically the department heads sit down to try and work out the ship's schedule for the next few weeks / months, and the ship's XO sits there and tells them all that they suck, and basically fucks it all up and keeps everyone from actually accomplishing anything.
Well, the XO had a few strikes against him. First, he was very short. Second, he was functionally illiterate. Combine these two things together, and you wind up with a very unpleasant work environment. Strike 3 was that he simply had no clue whatsoever in how to use a computer.
Well, we're sitting there at PB4T one week and he's (as usual) keeping everyone else from accomplishing anything useful, when he decides that he doesn't like the way that MS Outlook prints a calendar in the Weekly View. You know - it prints it in a landscape format, 5 days as full columns, with Saturday and Sunday stacked on top of each other in the sixth column.
I am ordered to change this, so that there are seven columns. I told him 'no, you can't do that. It doesn't work that way.' A couple of the other department heads spoke up, telling him that I was correct.
He didn't like this. He said (and I quote) 'you could do it if you weren't so lazy. You're putting limits on yourself. If you do that, you won't accomplish anything. I don't like people who put limits on themselves.'
I told him 'Well, sir, you've got a point ... but I didn't put this limit here. Bill Gates set this limit.'
He told me go get the fuck out of PB4T, and never come back.
God, it was wonderful to never have to do that bullshit again.
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Ration Reality: A Wretched Hive Of Scum and Villainy |
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Call the pet psychiatrist, that kitty will be traumatized for life. -- Heather
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