Lownotes
They all float down here.   SSHOLE |
Posts: 186 Registered: 4/23/2005 Offline
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7/5/2007 at 17:09 |
This is a big, dumb, Michael Bay movie about giant killer robots I used to love as a child.
It sounds like fun, but it isn't. Most of the movie is about the humans, not the robots. Most of the action concerns the humans, not the robots. After the big opening, you sit around for an hour waiting for something interesting to happen, then when it does you can't make out what is going on because Michael Bay sticks the camera up the ass of an Autobot.
There's more comedy (the cringe-worthy kind) than action, and the Transformers had better lines in the cartoon.
The CGI is mind-blowing, but so were the fight scenes in "The Protector."
On 2007-07-05 at 12:10:08, Lownotes craps monkey baby
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JohnLenin
Putting the semen in amusement  SSHOLEPosts: 1103 Registered: 7/8/2005 Offline
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7/5/2007 at 17:14 |
You sir, are a dick. Transformers was full of pretty things to look at and I wish Optimus Prime was my dad. |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get  SSHOLEPosts: 884 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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7/5/2007 at 17:50 |
Rather than debating, just watch it now:
Full Transformers movie
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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shitbox
my balls your chin, get used to that idea  SSHOLEPosts: 958 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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7/5/2007 at 18:28 |
-1 for claustrophobic camera work that obscured alot of the action.
+1 for pretty damn good CGI work of 'bots themselves.
-1 for poor, poor, cliche filled dialoge and terrible acting. (sad when the computer generated characters are better 'actors' than the live folks).
-1 for the absurd and shameless GMC product placement. Seriously, I just watched a fucking 2 hour car commercial...HP, I saw you in there too. Assholes.
-1 for the distracting-too hot for this movie- brunette and token blond limey.
Basically, if you grew up watching the show as a kid like I did, you probably want to check it out for nostalgias sake. But then again, maybe you would prefer your memory instead of this Michael Bay fuckaree.
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Rodney Dangerfield as Ed Wilson
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1537 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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7/5/2007 at 23:04 |
This was a very good movie. Fast, loud and funny at times. I didn't notice the camera work that much, and actually really liked the rolling, 360, and closup shots of the robots. It sort of enhanced the effects, which were great to begin with. It was hard to tell what was real and what wasn't.
I do agree that it focused a bit much on the humans over the bots, but whatever. The humans had some good scenes. The actions scenes were great in any case, although I hardly think that a bunch of humans firing RPGs are going to take down Megatron or his posse without getting smashed like bugs.
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HAMFIGHTER> He shrugged, and started finishing himself off, on my breasts, while I was crying. |
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metatron
Fighting The Good Fight ™  SSHOLEPosts: 495 Registered: 4/12/2002 Offline
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7/8/2007 at 00:45 |
this movie will win every possible film industry award for the next decade. it is that awesome.
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"it's water out of your body" - vasudeva |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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7/12/2007 at 12:43 |
The transformations sucked deeply, which really bummed me out, cause that was the one thing I thought I could count on being cool. It was a lot of high-tech handwaving, rendering cycles wasted on 'golly that sure is a lot of stuff happening' effects with no meat. Add the whole claustrophobic camera angle thing Shitbox mentioned and it was like a big empty masturbation session where you're looking at your watch waiting for the scene to end.
As disappointing as it possibly can be yet still be worth watching, for the huge city battle and nothing else, really. Lots of this sucked, but they made one decision right, and that was to put the city battle at the end of the film and make it last for like 475 minutes. The whole damn film should have just been one gigantic two-hour robot city battle, preferably in slow-motion so I can see what the fuck is going on, thanks.
P.S. Thanks for no Dinobots and no Megatron turning into a human-sized handgun.
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get SSHOLEPosts: 884 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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7/23/2007 at 14:23 |
I saw the movie last night at the theater, and man, it was incredible. I thought the camera work was sometimes annoying when I wanted to see how a robot transformed, but I realized that when you have a robot flying through the sky and then transforming in a fraction of a second before landing - you really don't have the time to show the audience how a steel ferring becomes Megatron's eyelid.
The only complaint I have, was Soundwave was supposed to house the little robot that becomes an audio tape in his chest, not a boombox. That little annoying robot sucked. Johnny 5 was cooler.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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7/23/2007 at 14:58 |
dent: That little annoying robot sucked.
Oh christ, I had forgotten about the Jarjar Binks of the Transformers universe.
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