kHz
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 448 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/21/2003 at 23:00  |
This is awesome. This is the first pornsite I've found in years that I'd actually advertise to swarmers. When you first load it up, it looks just like every crappy scam site out there, except that it's real. It's huge, it's updated constantly, there's no spam, no popups, and no bullshit -- and it's completely free. When you sign up through that link above and respond to the confirmation email, I make a bit of loose change. See what other swarmers have to say about it. People love this place, so I feel fine about sending you there and am confident you will enjoy boners. The thread below is what brought you here, but chances are by now the images are broken, the passwords don't work, and you can't get shit to load. You're welcome to try, of course, but This is your best bet.
 Don't forget to respond to the confirmation email , or you won't get in, so check your spam filter, pervert. This message is only shown to anonymous peeps coming in from other websites looking for porn. Registered users are not shown any ads here. Now, on to the original post...
I have a question for you all. Now, WOULD YOU (if given the chance) fuck the shit out of Christa Aguilera in exchange that you spend one year of your life in a federal prison? Now before you go nuts and answer, do check out these photos and get back to me. Man... being unemployed sure makes you ask dumb questions, but for fuks sake. I NEED TO KNOW!
http://www.beerorsex.com/frontpage/xtina/xtina23.jpg
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth   SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/21/2003 at 23:54 |
A year in federal prison? No way, sucka.
A day? Perhaps.
I might swear off espresso for a week.
"Watch my mouth" for a month? Like, Holy-Dog-is-watching-me level? Nah.
What else... Sign all my emails "Signed, vasudeva, who licks your arse in perpetuity" for one year? Yeah, probably. It'd be funny and would be a great story for when I'm 80. Except official ones to work peeps and "business contacts."
Stop harassing innocent humans online for two months? Sure. Well, that's a grey area. I do it in my sleep nowadays. If you could set up a monitoring system to stop me from doing it, I'd accept the watchdog for two months, I suppose. But it'd sure make IRC boring. Oh, wait, those aren't innocent humans in there.
Give up booze for a week? Yeah. Two weeks? Dicy. Three weeks? Nope.
Thing is, she's hot and all, but something about her makes me think she doesn't know how to rock the ol' bedspace, if you catch my very blunt drift.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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kHz
DARTH MENSES Posts: 448 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/22/2003 at 01:21 |
BUT DEAR GOD!
I mean.. look at the rest of these!!!
http://www.beerorsex.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=34&mode=thread&order=0&thold=0
NOw, you run a risk.. the risk is that you will have your butt turned into the local swimming hole for a large group of madmen. YOu do have a chance to avoid that too. ANd yes, it would be a great story to tell. I think i need to get a girlfriend that looks like Christina and play some role playing. That will be my cure. |
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Koll
Tender vittles  Posts: 33 Registered: 8/20/2002 Offline
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1/22/2003 at 01:27 |
like a screen door in a hurricane |
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MOMAD
That Weird Stain on the Ceiling  SSHOLEPosts: 449 Registered: 3/12/2002 Offline
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1/22/2003 at 02:09 |
Who's CHRISTA Aguilera? |
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kHz
DARTH MENSES Posts: 448 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/22/2003 at 06:41 |
ahhahaha
good question.... She might be a rocket scientist. You know, they like to keep their names close to pop music stars in case they come up with some amazing technology and then they can advertise it with ease. And.. yeah... some.. more.. yeah.. Amen. |
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relli
Tender vittles Posts: 36 Registered: 9/18/2002 Offline
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1/22/2003 at 21:48 |
She isn't even all that good looking. I can't say that I would even walk through a prison for her. State or Federal. |
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metatron
Fighting The Good Fight ™  SSHOLEPosts: 495 Registered: 4/12/2002 Offline
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1/22/2003 at 21:55 |
She isn't even all that good looking. I can't say that I would even walk through a prison for her. State or Federal.
^ THIS MAN IS GAY
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"it's water out of your body" - vasudeva |
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relli
Tender vittles Posts: 36 Registered: 9/18/2002 Offline
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1/22/2003 at 22:13 |
Well considering I am probably nearly old enough to have fathered her, she just isn't my type. Plus she is fugly. Brittnye Spears though, dayuhm. |
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Koll
Tender vittles Posts: 33 Registered: 8/20/2002 Offline
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1/23/2003 at 02:25 |
spears is a washed up has been. aguleria is a please f*ck me now....god damnit, now i gotta jack off again, stop sending me here and looking at the images. |
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BloodyBowels
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 265 Registered: 3/29/2003 Offline
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4/22/2003 at 02:04 |
Forget prison for a year. Imagine having to fight off the VD she would give you for a year. Hot? yes from the back. Skanky? all over.
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The abolishment of pain in surgery is a chimera. It is absurd to go on seeking it. . . . Knife and pain are two words in surgery that must forever be associated in the consciousness of the patient.- Dr. Alfred Velpeau (1839) |
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geeknik
Tender vittles  Posts: 16 Registered: 4/10/2003 Offline
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5/18/2003 at 17:22 |
wasn't christa aguilera that teacher / astronaut that died in the challenger explosion in 1986? |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/18/2003 at 22:41 |
Christa McAlif. Macaulafe? What the FUK.
CHRISTY MCAULIFF. Damn,
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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geeknik
Tender vittles Posts: 16 Registered: 4/10/2003 Offline
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5/22/2003 at 07:43 |
Christa McAlif. Macaulafe? What the FUK.
CHRISTY MCAULIFF. Damn,
I know what her name was.. I was giving khz shit for mispelling christina aguilera's name. 
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"I have taken all knowledge to be my province." - Francis Bacon |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/22/2003 at 12:35 |
I know what her name was.. I was giving khz shit for mispelling christina aguilera's name.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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geeknik
Tender vittles Posts: 16 Registered: 4/10/2003 Offline
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5/31/2003 at 06:49 |
That, my man, is a herculean task. If you start down that path, you will never finish. Check out our Our Top 15 Page and look for "Most grammar and spelling errors in one article"... For just a taste of the mastery and power that resides in the English-speaking portions of kHz' brain. Er, "brain." Right on.
That's funny. Just the other day on IRC everyone was counting all the errors in one of your posts. 
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"I have taken all knowledge to be my province." - Francis Bacon |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/31/2003 at 17:41 |
That's funny. Just the other day on IRC everyone was counting all the errors in one of your posts.
No one's perfect, Francis. If kHz likes to embody this aphorism like some kind of avatar of ye olde-school Gods of Typoism, then, all's crap that ends crap. 
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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DrCube
Shit Machine  SSHOLEPosts: 150 Registered: 2/6/2004 Offline
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7/16/2003 at 17:48 |
thats what crystal meth and cocaine will do to ya....
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"The standard is not perfection; the standard is the alternative." |
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TrouserSnake
Tender vittles  Posts: 9 Registered: 1/23/2003 Offline
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7/16/2003 at 19:23 |
My girl is already hotter than her. I vote no way.
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You call me scissors.
I really dont see the point. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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7/16/2003 at 19:30 |
My girl is already hotter than her. I vote no way. Let's see.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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Tvaren
Tender vittles  Posts: 1 Registered: 7/3/2003 Offline
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7/27/2003 at 14:45 |
Not gonna happen. I, however, would walk through a federal prison to bang her. It would have to be a pre-bang walk, and I'd just be going through taunting people. "Guess what, suckafish? I'm about to go bang Christina Aguilera, whereas you will continue henceforth to sit here on your thumb." I would then proceed out of the prison before they got loose, and go about my day... banging Christina.
Other than that, I don't see why it should be of so much circumstance, and I certainly wouldn't spend a year in prison, only to find out I got an STD from her when I get out or something... Fuq that
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You don`t care. |
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SpiffyMcToad
Tender vittles  Posts: 17 Registered: 7/25/2003 Offline
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7/31/2003 at 19:15  |
As hot as she may be id have to decline. Have fun being some fat greasy bastard's buttery corn-hole kHz. Personally I would rather loose hmmm. . . . ill say 3 fingers than spend a year in a federal prison.
Just remember its shank or be shanked in there.
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danny_glover
Tender vittles  Posts: 1 Registered: 4/1/2003 Offline
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7/31/2003 at 23:14  |
that was my idea.. khz stole it. (its true) |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4540 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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8/1/2003 at 03:05 |
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard  SSHOLEPosts: 1671 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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8/1/2003 at 04:50 |
and you were the last to post in it...
doh! |
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