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How to boil a potato.         1022 reads

Tender vittles




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6/13/2007 at 08:24
I wanted to know how to make a baked or boiled/steamed potato. How long do I leave it in the water and how much water is needed? If there's more to it, then any help would be cool.
Thanks.






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SSHOLE

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6/13/2007 at 09:12

Put them cocksuckers in a crockpot, fill with water or gravy, set to high and let them cook for 8-12 hours. Set it and forget it.








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Tender vittles




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6/13/2007 at 20:35

Seriously...does anyone have a better answer than that?






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SSHOLE

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6/13/2007 at 21:05

You will need:

4 ashtrays of cayenne pepper (hotel ashtrays are fine)
1 hamster (peeled)
9-8/16 hex bolts
4 ounces of hate
3 liters of toilet water (bowl, not tank)
1 egg (phoenix)
1 Potato

Blend hate and hex bolts to a fine puree. Fold egg and cayenne and place into freezer for 1.7 hrs. Add egg/cayenne mix, puree, to a steel dustbin (Lowes 14 gal) and bring to a hard boil. Add hamster and potato and cook until all the hamster teeth are visible in a rictus of death.








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SSHOLE

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6/13/2007 at 21:21

You should leave it in the water (which should cover the potato completely, btw) until you can run a fork through it easily, much like cocks go through your mom's pussy easily with a smooth, slicing motion (but do not destroy the potato!) (unlike your mom's pussy, which resembles shredded meat). You should put a small amount of salt in the water as well.

Your fork or other stabbing instrument is important, as it will allow you to tell with perfect exactness when the potato should be removed from the water. It will guard against the potato becoming soggy and dense.

potato






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SSHOLE

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6/13/2007 at 21:42

Alternatively, prick the skin all over with a fork, and stick it in the microwave for a few minutes- much the same as when you cook a baby.






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SSHOLE

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6/13/2007 at 22:41

Peel 1 large potato and then shove it in your ass. Wait 8 hours and then gently push it out making sure your ASSHOLE IS RIPPING






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Tender vittles




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6/13/2007 at 23:54

Wow...I expected you guys to be more mature. I guess I was wrong.






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SSHOLE

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6/14/2007 at 00:10

It is certainly a sad situation that it's tough to get meaningful responses to a reasonable thread.

Having said that, in this case, it was pretty hard not to tell you to just fuking google it. I mean, come on, boiling a potato? Is anyone going to have much in the way of personal touches to add to that? Boiling water, add potato, wait a while, fork test, shove potato into your big fat head.

To summarize: coming into LinkSwarm and asking us how to boil a potato and then implying we're immature , well... You win Wednesday.






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SSHOLE

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6/14/2007 at 00:52

whut aboot mashed taters?

p.s. for what it's worth, i was about to write a long post about getting x concaved mirrors built to y specs and arranging them in z pattern, etc.

now i feel like a shitheel. thanks internet.






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SSHOLE

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6/14/2007 at 01:07

mundhra: whut aboot mashed taters?

The very thread that documents my potato-cooking coming-of-age. And, somehow, a successful potato thread.



now i feel like a shitheel. thanks internet.

That's what we're here for. 7.65 million served.






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SSHOLE

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6/14/2007 at 03:39

ghostrider: Put them cocksuckers in a crockpot, fill with water or gravy, set to high and let them cook for 8-12 hours. Set it and forget it.


Come to think about it, your question was answered in the first fucking shot, taters cooked with gravy sound too badass to pass up.






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DARTH MENSES




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6/14/2007 at 03:50

........................with garlic






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SENATOR BABYHEAD




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6/14/2007 at 04:19

I`ll bite...

One bag of Red pertators

One thing ( I dont fucking know how big) of Sour Cream

One thing of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing

Wash the taters,then cut and boil the fuckers

DONT PEEL THEM!

Dump the whole thing of ranch and the whole thing of sour cream onto the pertators.

Mix that shit with a,mixer?

If you don`t like the results,fuck off and die.K?

Alternatively,the kuna dudes directions dont seem to be that bad...






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SSHOLE

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6/14/2007 at 04:36

LORDKAHUNA: taters cooked with gravy sound too badass to pass up.
ditto'd






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