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Steel
If you want to keep your tongue, don't lick me in the Winter!   SSHOLE |
Posts: 484 Registered: 10/14/2004 Offline
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5/8/2007 at 18:09 |
This weekend LOki surprised me with discussion of his TimeShare adventures...
I've always assumed people buying time shares get the shaft...
Confessions of a time-share salesperson
Now I've kinda been thinkin that I would like to make sure I plan and take my family on vacation every year... maybe even starting this year... Personally I doubt I will be going time share, but htought I would love to hear if more swarmers out there have time share stories to tell...
Good/Bad? Did you buy? Did you hate the sales pitch??
OK GO GO GO!
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truenative
I'm what makes bread wonder.  SSHOLEPosts: 286 Registered: 1/6/2005 Offline
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5/8/2007 at 20:12 |
Well my GF Booked one of the 'Discounted Vacation Packages' to stay at a '5 star Resort' last time we Met her Family in Orlando. First of all '5 Star is a bit of a stretch" I guess this depends on Amenities offered not the actual quality of the place. Somehow or another I got suckered into being the one to endure the Sales pitch at 7:30am-10:30am. Besides having to get out of the nice warm bed with my little cuddle buddy I wasn't dreading it because I had always wondered what the 'Deal' really was with the whole time share thing since they seem to populate about 1/3 of Florida's total land mass. In our case we basically opted to stay at the resort they were trying to sell us so I just had to wander down to the restaurant and wait in line to be assigned my personal salesperson/tour guide. I felt a little bad for the chubby little girl they sent for me because I can be a bit of a passive aggressive asshole when I get on a roll and she really seemed nice enough for someone that was trying to fuck middle classers out of tens of thousands of dollars. She first walked me through a little museum type display in several rooms showing where all the 'Westgate'resorts were and how large, profitable and downright dandy a company they were being one of 'Florida's Larges Employers'. She then led me to the breakfast room so I could dine on the feast of dry cereal, powdered eggs and as much bacon (that was so gross not even my fat ass would eat it) as you wanted. She sat with me and opened her sales binder to show me the various ownership options and perks. Explaining that I could easily trade my timeshare for a cruise or a stay in any one of thousands of networked timeshares all over the world. She asked where my dream vacation would be and I offered some obscure locations citing my love for off-the-path rugged vacationing which stumped her a bit so she resorted to showing me pictures of her lovely little baby born out of wedlock I guess to soften me up a bit. So after I got another cup of terrible coffee with powdered creamer we proceeded out to a golf cart for my "tour"; the model units were actually in the same building as the room we were staying at which surprised me a bit because our room really wasn't that nice. However the showroom sure was, Plasma TVs, snazzy cabinetry, swanky patio furniture and new appliances graced this room, not to mention the lovely smell of baking cookies to give it that down home feel, a bit of a departure from the drab towelless, cheaply furnished efficiency we were in two floors up. I was more or less smiling and nodding at this point just trying to be nice. Every time I brought up the price or the 'deal' she would just respond "We'll get to that in a bit". After rolling around in the golf cart a little more she brought me to the sales hall. It was a weird progression from very one on one experience to gradually more and more crowded situations until you hit the sales hall which is just crazy. You are sat at a little table right next to other people and couples getting pitched, every few minutes a guy gets on a megaphone and Announces that "We would like to welcome the Jones, Smith or whatever Family as New Westgate Owners! Salesmen; take Unit 5684B weeks 34&45 Off the Books! If you are working a Sale on this Unit Please Stop it is Sold Sold Sold!!" and everyone claps. Another salesman, usually with a national championship style ring with little diamonds for awards then joins you and the game is on. The book comes out and you finally get to see the prices.When the numbers start rolling out in the pitch I ask to borrow the ring wearing salesman's calculator and start fiddling.
Ok Now if you weren't interested in reading my above dribble here is the juice:
In this case the units, a 1 bedroom, 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom are priced from $28,000 to $38,000 Easy Financing Available for all! Not bad for a condo on the water in Orlando Right? I mean this IS a 5 star 'Resort'... Well sure that would be great except that you have to remember that is for One week! ONE FREAKING WEEK! That means they are selling this same crappy condo that has a real world value of maybe $150,000 - $180,000 52 times for $30,000! Thats $1,560,000! But Wait there's More! Then you of course have to pay the yearly maintenance fee of $549 so multiply that by 52 and you have $28,548 Per Unit in fees this company is raking in. Oh but wait There's more. If you want to get those trade-up perks like trading your timeshare for another elsewhere or trade it for a cruise those programs have a membership of $80 year so tack on another $160 x 52 = $8320. Oh and dont' forget if you do stay at another resort there is a charge for the week too but I won't even factor that in because I can't remember the figure. Here is the juiciest tidbit of all, remember the easy in-house financing? This isn't optional! You can go out and get your own mortgage or loan afterwards but to walk away from this table you sign on for 18% financing! My WORST credit card does better than that! So lets tack on the interest since I'm assuming most of the assholes who are lapping up the sales pitch at this point are not going to go out and refinance their dream vacation purchase. 18% x $1,560,000 = $280,800. So Even leaving out little details like taxes $115 a year and Transfer Fees of $150 plus title charges etc
Let me tally what this company is able to sell a $150,000 condo for.
$1,560,000 Sales Price
$280,800 Interest
$28,548 Fees
$8320 Membership Dues
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$ 1,877,668 for a crappy $150,000 condo!!
So I scribbled the figures out like this and pushed the paper across the table to the 'closer' and said I would be glad to sign up for an investment that would turn my $150,000 into 1.87 Mil if that is what they were offering but as for a one week Timeshare no thanks I'd pass. What really blew my mind was that even after that they sent a 3rd salesperson to try to get me to prepay for a week in any of their resorts to be used anytime in the next 3 years for only $500! Absolutely absurd, the whole damn thing! If you are a tire kicker at heart or just downright like fucking with salespeople I'd say that if you are willing to give up 3 or 4 hours of your time the sales pitch is kind of entertaining just for how insulting it really is. I couldn't believe that at least 6 or 8 people signed up while I was getting pitched in the sales room
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I live for Warm Beer and Cold Women! |
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Stump
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 310 Registered: 6/18/2002 Offline
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5/8/2007 at 22:49 |
Dominican Republic, 9a.m., hungover borderline still drunk. The english couple I was hanging with start fighting before we even hit the beach. Someone who I thought was staff suggets we step away and it seems like a good idea, says he's gonna take me to get a bottle of rum.......yes! (It was all inclusive, but free booze is free booze. What he did was bring me to a time-share sales office and abandon me there. It was a one on one presentation, no tour though, just pamphlets and pictures on the internet. I sat it out when I realized what it was only because the chick was smokingly hot (and there was a free bottle coming). I wasted her time for about a half-hour, tried to pick her up with my half-ass spanish and we finally got down to money. I don't remember what the final price was, but it started out around that $38,000 figure and they financed also, but you had to give them $7,000. When I revealed I didn't have $700 to my name nevermind $7,000 she got very irate and wanted to know why I wasted her time. I told her the free bottle......turned out you got a free t-shirt too, Bonus!
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4392 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/8/2007 at 22:55 |
People, do NOT go on time-share vacations. It's a scam. They steal your body and replace you with a perfect double housing an alien spirit. You can tell because the aliens are impervious to the return key's alluring call. You have been warned.
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2409 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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5/8/2007 at 23:07  |
The trick if for you to know the other owners personally so you can coordinate everything perfectly. Yucatan FTW.
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i feed my dog (Magic Man) Kraft Singles cheese slices for a week.one slice over each of his food dishes a day. then i take him backyard and place a cheese slice over his shit piles.he consumes the cheese and waste. ~tantrum |
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shitbox
my balls your chin, get used to that idea  SSHOLEPosts: 910 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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5/8/2007 at 23:27 |
While walking to Disneyland last year I was accosted by some arab stating that he wanted to give us 100 dollars.
I made the mistake of talking to him and eventually signed up to hear the 1hr presentation and 45minute GRILLING session after the presentation. Funny thing is, I paid HIM to sign up,(20 dollar refundable deposit to ensure my attendance). The woman who attempted to sell us shit was a goddamn drop dead sociopath....amazing.
You really have to be crazy to sell that shit and even crazier to attend that shit, even if they promise you cars and oral sex with swallowing, DONT FUCKING DO IT.
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"Kill him! Kill the fuckin' indian! What am I watching here two fuckin' fags!?"
Rodney Dangerfield as Ed Wilson
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Wrecker
Misanthrope  SSHOLEPosts: 446 Registered: 1/25/2006 Offline
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5/9/2007 at 22:06 |
Every year we go skiing in Vermont at the Trapp Family Lodge (Trapp, as in Von Trapp, as in the Sound of Music Von Trapps)
My mother-in-law pays for the time share, but the cost is split between 5 people (mother-in-law and four of her friends).
The week includes trail passes, gym, pool, rock climbing, all that jazz.
We (Wrecker Wief and myself) get to stay for free.
This is the absolute best setup one can hope for with regards to a timeshare.
This summer we have bought a week at a resort in Williamsburg VA. We are staying at a 3 bedroom townhouse for the week for $1200. This was comperable to what we would have paid for a hotel in the area, so I think we got a pretty good deal.
Weif found this place online that is basically a broker that re-sells timeshare weeks for owners that aren't using the property. The upside here is that the resale cost is significantly lower than the 'buy' cost and you are not roped into any long term high intrest rate scams. The downside is that prime weeks may not be available, so you have to plan waaaaay ahead.
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< nuevoSock_> "me and the phone cable plugged to her labia were shaking hands
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LinkSwarm.com: Like Mecca for Infidels -- truenative
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