dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get   SSHOLE |
Posts: 816 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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4/20/2007 at 21:47 |
Here's a really strange situation, maybe the swarm can shed a bit of light.
My martial arts instructor, a 5th degree black belt, has been booted from his house by his wife. For the last 2 months he's been going through a rather tough and bitter divorce. Since I've been training with/under him for the last year or so, we've never really been close and have never hung out outside of training.
After the first few weeks of the divorce, this guy decided that he's my best friend and would visit my house daily and cry. He began showing up every day unannounced and literally staying until 10pm, or later, crying about whatever. He's also got this dog, a 100+ lab that he takes everywhere, including my house. I tried to comfort him and tried to deal with the intrusions, understanding what he's going through would require constant pep-talks and whatnot.
After about 4 weeks of this, I figured it was time to break the seal between mouth and teet. But then he started getting "stalky" and driving past my house and shit. He comes to my job maybe 6 times a week to complain and cry in my office. He's even got a restraining order on him from another family because of similar behavior.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I just bought my first house, and cannot wait to have time with my family. NOPE. Stalker continues to call me and show up saying "I need to bug you, I'm so stressed and depressed - can I hang?". Even though I tell him to go home cause "tonight isn't a good night", he'll come back in 10 minutes to ask again or call me crying for the next hour. Mind you, he's 46 years old. It's become a huge weight on my shoulders and can now see a bit of strain at home with the Mrs.. We're all fed up with it and it doesn't look like it's gonna chill anytime soon.
It's at the point where he's constantly prying into my life, constantly calling or constantly hanging over my house until it's bed time.
So, how the hell do I deal with this guy? He's technically a friend and my instructor and I certainly wouldn't want to ruin my training. I've given him a few "back-off" speeches as friendly as I can but nothing works. Advice? Anyone else ever dealt with a really needy/borderline fucking nutcase friend?
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1871 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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4/20/2007 at 22:10 |
In karate world he has crossed the line. Instructors SHOULD never be FRIENDS with students; he has made this an inappropriate relationship. You should contact higher level instructors at the corporate level. If they refuse to get involved then tell him flat out that you have your own family issues to deal with privately and he needs to give you time and space. Give him the number for a local counselor and tell him he has to talk to someone who can really help him work on getting over his divorce; you are not that person and are not trained in the fine art of mental health counseling. He is obviously not dealing with his divorce and needs therapy and/or meds and/or hospitalization. If this does not work… then get a protection from harassment order. The following is a link for downloading court forms (PDF) and what you would have to do to get the protection from harassment order going.
Court Forms
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I am a fine wine: smooth, full bodied.... goes down easy. |
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Wrecker
Misanthrope  SSHOLEPosts: 433 Registered: 1/25/2006 Offline
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4/20/2007 at 22:35 |
I would recommend that you kick his ass, but since he is teaching you to fite, he probably already knows your tricks.
Anyway, here's a free tip: Kick him in the nuts when he's not looking.
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< nuevoSock_> "me and the phone cable plugged to her labia were shaking hands
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4360 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/20/2007 at 22:43 |
Dumbskull: he has made this an inappropriate relationship. You should contact higher level instructors at the corporate level. If they refuse to get involved then tell him flat out that you have your own family issues to deal with privately and he needs to give you time and space. Give him the number for a local counselor and tell him he has to talk to someone who can really help him work on getting over his divorce; you are not that person and are not trained in the fine art of mental health counseling. He is obviously not dealing with his divorce and needs therapy and/or meds and/or hospitalization. If this does not work… then get a protection from harassment order.
Sweet, now I can use the time you saved me to go play video games.
EDIT: Good luck, fagmeat. (Don't give him your credit card information.)
EDIT EDIT: Wait, is this guy at fault for your LinkSwarm redesign flaking? Cause if so, I may be interested in having angry emotions in addition to your feelings of (very wise) terror.
On 2007-04-20 at 17:47:06, vasudeva craps monkey baby
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard  SSHOLEPosts: 1600 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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4/20/2007 at 22:54 |
what dumskull said (oh god).
maybe he's trying to get you divorced.
honestly, the way things are going, you shouldn't worry about losing him as an instructor - you should worry about finding another one. something makes me think this won't stop until you cut him off completely.
if he sees you as sympathetic, he'll take advantage of you. if you're unsympathetic, you're a cocksucker who isn't worth his time. i don't think you can have it both ways.
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But the whole of modern so-called civilized existence is an attempt to deny reality insofar as it exists. When did Don last look at the stars, when did Norman last get soaked in a rainstorm? |
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2382 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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4/20/2007 at 23:04 |
I think he loves your humps.
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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jwalker
Token Discordian  SSHOLEPosts: 939 Registered: 8/6/2005 Offline
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4/20/2007 at 23:44 |
4 weeks? sheesh...
Give him some spare change now. When you see him on the street panhandling in 6 months, you can tell him you gave at the office.
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To the dog who has money, men say "My Lord Dog". |
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tantrum
I'm a big boy now!  SSHOLEPosts: 470 Registered: 11/23/2003 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 00:28 |
Hahaha.
A real-life troll, how delicious!
It worries me that another family has a restraining order filed against him. Maybe you should ask them how bad it got, things probably became quite bad if they got law enforcement involved.
Error on the side of caution. Trust your instincts.
Don't sacrifice the harmony (or safety) of your family life for one minute longer. This guy sounds pretty fucked off to me. He'll keep taking until you somehow make it clear to him that he's no longer welcome. And it's an all or nothing affair, he doesn't sound like someone that can (or cares to) understand boundries. Cut him out of your life.
PM me for a brainstorming session of fun and creative ways to trip him the fuck out...we can make it so you'll never be bothered again. |
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azron123
I can break you with my mind. Watch, I'll do it.  SSHOLEPosts: 1505 Registered: 3/6/2003 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 02:56 |
If you hook him up with a new slam piece he won't bother you again until she throws him out.
Do not under any circumstances hook him up with a friend or relative. That would be like really stupid.
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If you give a man a fire you keep him warm for one night.
If you set him on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life. |
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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache  SSHOLEPosts: 1593 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 04:10 |
Two words:
DRAGON KICK
(think about it)
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Sexninja> I will not your farts |
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ragoo
We are not amused.  SSHOLEPosts: 646 Registered: 9/4/2004 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 04:16 |
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Interjections show excitement or emotion. They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong. |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get SSHOLEPosts: 816 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 04:35 |
Wait, is this guy at fault for your LinkSwarm redesign flaking? Buying a house, missing a week of work due to pneumonia and yes, this guy.
Anyway, after stewing over it all day and punching my dashboard a few times, I decided that tonight was the night to let it fly and deal with a possible stalker breakdown while babysitting my three young daughters. I was angry enough to deal with whatever reaction he made.
I told him flat that I didn't want him coming by or to my job anymore, ever again. I also told him that I will only see him during training and martial arts related shit because he's driving me fucking nuts and making me violent towards my personal property (walls and steering wheel). I told him that he needs to respect my privacy or nature will have to take its course.
I nearly expected certain death, but all I heard was sobbing, and my heart beating out of my chest. Anxiety.
After a few more long moments of sobbing, he grabbed his shit and left.
Utter relief.
I'll keep this posted as the weekend unfolds.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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azron123
I can break you with my mind. Watch, I'll do it. SSHOLEPosts: 1505 Registered: 3/6/2003 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 05:05 |
Won't you feel like fucking shit Monday morning when you hear that he shot up your local community college and day care center, blew up the Lutheran Church and did a Butch and Sundance ending at the titty bar,
And it'll all be your fucking fault.
Shame on you
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If you give a man a fire you keep him warm for one night.
If you set him on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4360 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 10:55 |
dent: Wait, is this guy at fault for your LinkSwarm redesign flaking? Buying a house, missing a week of work due to pneumonia and yes, this guy.
Smells like excuses.
I told him flat that I didn't want him coming by or to my job anymore, ever again.
Sweet.
I also told him that I will only see him during training and martial arts related shit
I wonder how hard this is going to be now.
After a few more long moments of sobbing, he grabbed his shit and left.
I read 'his shit' but in my mind's eye I can't help but see 'his purse'. Also, he's not used to those heels, and he wobbles on his way out.
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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spod
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 58 Registered: 8/13/2006 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 13:48 |
he does look a bit wobbely in htose heeels |
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard SSHOLEPosts: 1600 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 20:46 |
dent: good for you. now start looking for another instructor just in case.
azron123: Shame on you
kinda out of line, dontcha think?
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But the whole of modern so-called civilized existence is an attempt to deny reality insofar as it exists. When did Don last look at the stars, when did Norman last get soaked in a rainstorm? |
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sunny77
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 224 Registered: 11/2/2005 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 21:02 |
Have you considered the possiblity that this Mr. KarateStalk has some serious personality deficit? Really, dent: there's no tellin' what this guy is capable of, in that he is of high status in his karate skills. Be cautious, and like tantrum said, trust your intuition if something, anything, seems amiss.
Also, anyone (this dude) who has imposed on another family/individual to the point where said family/individual has had to go so far as to file a restraining order is clearly fuked up. It might be a good idea to talk to one of these people to know what this dude did to offend them into taking such serious action.
Also x2: keep your family safe. Don't rule anything out just yet; for all you know, he could be a sex offender, trying to bed you or one (or more) of your family members down. Really, this is something you should take into consideration when it comes to people like this
Hope things turn out for you, dent. It sucks, srsly, but take necessary measures and go through the proper channels to keep you and your family SAFE. Fuk this guy; he ain't shit to you: what's important is SAFETY.
On 2007-04-21 at 16:03:20, sunny77 craps monkey baby
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"Poor little guy! He just makes mistakes. He doesn't know any better. l'll just have to be patient and teach him the right way to do things" ~Mickey Mouse |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1871 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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4/21/2007 at 21:29 |
DUH! Stalker = crazy
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I am a fine wine: smooth, full bodied.... goes down easy. |
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azron123
I can break you with my mind. Watch, I'll do it. SSHOLEPosts: 1505 Registered: 3/6/2003 Offline
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4/22/2007 at 13:14 |
mundhra: dent: good for you. now start looking for another instructor just in case.
azron123: Shame on you
kinda out of line, dontcha think?
Not for throwing the guy out. For causing the deaths of all those poor children.
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If you give a man a fire you keep him warm for one night.
If you set him on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life. |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get SSHOLEPosts: 816 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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4/22/2007 at 16:12 |
I totally understand that!
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1871 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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4/22/2007 at 20:15 |
I bet if you look our the window right now, he is out there watching your house.
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I am a fine wine: smooth, full bodied.... goes down easy. |
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freakmachine
Web Fucko Extraordinaire  SSHOLEPosts: 586 Registered: 4/15/2004 Offline
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4/23/2007 at 03:24 |
dude. sux. at least it worked out well. |
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TheBitchisHere
Tender vittles  Posts: 46 Registered: 11/18/2006 Offline
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4/24/2007 at 00:45 |
Your situation made me think of that movie 'What about Bob?'
Dr. Leo Marvin: You think he's gone? He's not gone. That's the whole point! He's never gone! [Leo opens the door; there's Bob.]
Bob Wiley: Is this some radical new therapy?
Dr. Leo Marvin: YOU SEE?!?!
Dr. Marvin: All's I want is some peace and quiet!
Bob: Okay I'll be quiet.
Bob: what if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find one...and my bladder explodes?
Leo: You understand right? There's no other solution. You won't go away.
Bob: Yes I will.
Leo: No you won't. You're just saying you will, so that when I don't kill you, you'll show up again and make everyone else in my life think you are wonderful and I'm a shmuck. But I'm not a shmuck Bob, and I'm not going to let you breeze into town and steal my family away just because you're crazy enough to be fun.
Bob: What are you doing with the gun, Dr. Marvin?
Leo: Death Therapy,
Bob. It's a guaranteed cure.
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the boxes we live in don't ever have walls, just sky for a ceiling and rain that falls
. . . see you in the mirror |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4360 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/25/2007 at 13:08 |
So? How's it working out?
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get SSHOLEPosts: 816 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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4/25/2007 at 14:47 |
It's working out well. Since our talk, I've only seen him once for two hours during some training. He's apologized a few times, saying that he's just desperate for someone to not reject his ass. Whatever.
I've been able to demo my deck in the back of my house and am working on re-building a new larger one. It's nice getting things done and so much easier to do so when Charles Manson isn't hanging over your house all night sobbing.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4360 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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4/25/2007 at 15:27 |
dent: Charles Manson hanging over your house all night sobbing.
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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sunny77
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 224 Registered: 11/2/2005 Offline
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4/25/2007 at 17:57 |
^ FUK YOU. Seriously, FUK. YOU.
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"Poor little guy! He just makes mistakes. He doesn't know any better. l'll just have to be patient and teach him the right way to do things" ~Mickey Mouse |
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1516 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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4/25/2007 at 21:56 |
I don't know why you're upset. That LOOKS like a Nazi symbol but is in fact a stickman ice skater flailing about helplessly on that huge forehead.
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THINK I GIVE A FUCK HOW A NIGGA FEEL? - Prodigy, 2008 |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2382 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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4/26/2007 at 13:43  |
She's hot, even without the swastika.
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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