A man walks into a talent agent's office and says, "I have a great act for you!" The talent agent replies "Okay, show me your act."
The man proceeds to undress right there in the office. He stands there naked, perfectly silent, for three minutes until the door opens. In walks his wife, his young daughter, and his crippled son. They start to beat the everlasting shit out of each other as the father squats down and pinches off the longest shit in the history of shits - all coiled up like a brown annaconda. As soon as he's done shitting, his wife grabs the handles of her crippled son's wheelchair and flips him face-first into the shit. Then their daughter, whose arms are small (on account of her being five years old) rams into her brother's asshole up to her shoulder with a handful of broken glass. While this is going on, the man and his wife are stomping on their daughters legs and fingering each other's assholes. After a minute or so, the son has suffocated in the shit. The daughter pulls her arm out, covered in blood and cuts, and the father kicks his dead son onto his back. The mother and daughter start eating each other out as the father puts his ballsack into the mouth of his dead son. He beats off while watching his wife and daughter until he comes all over the torso of his dead, crippled, son. He stands up and rubs his shit covered balls in the jizz while punching his daughter in the clit. The wife jumps up in the air and lands ass-first on her husband's head, forcing him neck deep into her colon. He stands up, thrusting his wife's head through the ceiling, and grabs his dead son by the ankels. He swings the corps around right into his daughter knocking her on the floor. She screams for mercy as he beats her to death with the body of her dead, crippled, jizz covered, shit covered brother. As soon as she dies he passes out from lack of oxygen and collapses onto the floor. The wife releases her colon death-grip on his head, releasing blood all over the carpet from her torn rectal tissue, and passes out. A few minutes later the man regains conciousness and stands up. Covered in shit, jizz, sweat, blood, and a few mistery liquids, he holds hims arms out and says "TA-DA!"
The talent agent says "Wow, that's a hell of an act! What do you call yourselves?"
"THE ARISTOCRATS!"
*unofficial Aristocrats thread*
Post your aristocrats joke here. Each post should elaborate on, or out-do the previous post. Just keep the same opening and punchline. Have fun.
On 2007-01-27 at 15:48:32, guitarjon123 pooped back and forth... forever
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[Clavis_A] he's one of the few people i've ever seen that bear a striking resemblence to their own dick
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