Acidburn
I am El Chupacabra   SSHOLE |
Posts: 729 Registered: 8/1/2004 Offline
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1/18/2007 at 00:59 |
A pedofile and a little boy walk into the woods hand and hand. The little boy looks up at the pedofile and says "I'm scared in these woods". The pedofile looks a t the little boy and says "Your scared? I gotta walk out of here alone".
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No you can't have my rights. I'm not through with them!
Perfection is not a destination, it's a path.
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(='.'=)
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This is Rabbit. and it kills everyday.
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2382 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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1/18/2007 at 01:19 |
If the guy has a foot fetish, why is he walking out of the woods alone ?
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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mcgarpat
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 413 Registered: 7/10/2005 Offline
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1/18/2007 at 01:57 |
How can you tell when a British girl gets her first menstrual period?
When her mother starts complaining that the dogs dick tastes funny.
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Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. |
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 889 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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1/18/2007 at 03:47 |
Knock knock.
Who's there?
See, that's nigger knocking.
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bwned. |
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Jawlessjoe
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 59 Registered: 2/3/2006 Offline
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1/18/2007 at 23:41 |
A guy an a girl just finish having sex, and as they are getting dressed the girl says, "Don't you think it's pretty presumptuous of you to think you'd get into my pants on the first date?"
To which the man replies, "Don't you think that presumptuous is a big word for a third-grader?"
also, this one I get from my friend, but I'm sure they're all from the fucking internet anyway;
A man walks up to a little girl who is crying by the edge of a cliff.
"What's wrong little girl?" he asks.
The girl points over the edge of the cliff. The man walks over and looks down, where he sees the mangled remains of the little girl's parents in their van.
The man turns around and unzips his pants.
"This just isn't your lucky day, is it?"
On 2007-01-18 at 17:44:23, Jawlessjoe pooped back and forth... forever
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C is for cookie, and that's good enough for me. |
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Danny_Inferno
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 81 Registered: 1/9/2005 Online
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1/19/2007 at 20:16 |
did you hear about the chick who went fishing with six other guys?
all she came back with was a red snapper!
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Sidechain
Funk Lord of the Universe.  SSHOLEPosts: 69 Registered: 8/18/2006 Offline
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1/19/2007 at 23:20 |
What's the difference between a lawyer and a guppie?
One's a scum-sucking bottom-feeder, the other one's a fish.
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Zen budhist to hot dog vendor:
"Make me one with everything."
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Two blondes went hunting and came upon a pair of tracks. They began to argue because one thought they were bear tracks, and one thought they were lion tracks. While they were busy arguing, a train ran over them.
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You can't hear me laughing to myself
If you could you would be someone else. |
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Danny_Inferno
SIR BABYHEAD Posts: 81 Registered: 1/9/2005 Online
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1/19/2007 at 23:37 |
...and so the buddhist pays for the hot dog with a $20 bill.
and says to the vendor 'hey, where's my change?'
and the vendor says 'change must come from within'
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2382 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 00:02 |
Didja hear about the Buddhist in Central Park ? He said to the hot dog vendor, "Make me one, with everything".
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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Sidechain
Funk Lord of the Universe. SSHOLEPosts: 69 Registered: 8/18/2006 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 00:14 |
Okay, I'll play...
So then he pays for the hot dog with a $20 bill and says "where's my change"...
I've lost interest now...
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You can't hear me laughing to myself
If you could you would be someone else. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2382 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 00:19 |
Disinterest is so 1992.
Faux participation is the new disinterest.
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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jwalker
Token Discordian  SSHOLEPosts: 939 Registered: 8/6/2005 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 00:42 |
How about we just tell the punchlines - they're easier to remember.
...so he says "Well, you just watch ol' Bubba go to work!"
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To the dog who has money, men say "My Lord Dog". |
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Sidechain
Funk Lord of the Universe. SSHOLEPosts: 69 Registered: 8/18/2006 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 00:44 |
...so the potato farmer says to the shepherd, "No thanks, I've already got a hoe!"
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You can't hear me laughing to myself
If you could you would be someone else. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2382 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 00:47 |
...the Rabbi says, "Hey, You can't put cheese on a fucking hamburger".
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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JohnLenin
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 991 Registered: 7/8/2005 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 00:57 |
... the Aristocrats!
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Marf> omg <3 u 4 ever |
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Jawlessjoe
SIR BABYHEAD Posts: 59 Registered: 2/3/2006 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 01:07 |
Then he noticed the note on his chest that said "Right nut tied to dresser"
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C is for cookie, and that's good enough for me. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4360 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 01:34 |
ghostrider: Faux participation is the new disinterest.
I like it. Incisive, smarmy, and best of all, accurate. Look for this soon in a footer near you.
guitarjon123: ... the Aristocrats!
lol u vidyut
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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slippedhole
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 234 Registered: 4/24/2004 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 02:05 |
This is my kind of thread.
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Realize that the "goal" of all members here is to relieve their fear of DEATH through ritualistic sacrifieses of non-agreeable members. They focus on inflicting pain and hatred on others so they don't feel it for themselves. And behind everything they do |
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1516 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 02:55 |
blubby: did you hear about the chick who went fishing with six other guys?
all she came back with was a red snapper!
Did you hear the one about the chick who went fisting with six other guys?
She died of impacted fetus.
She was your mom.
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THINK I GIVE A FUCK HOW A NIGGA FEEL? - Prodigy, 2008 |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4360 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 03:11 |
Search box punchline!
EDIT: Be careful, young B0bo, for when you look into the abyss... the abyss also looks into you.
On 2007-01-19 at 21:16:34, vasudeva pooped back and forth... forever
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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JohnLenin
DARTH MENSES Posts: 991 Registered: 7/8/2005 Offline
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1/20/2007 at 03:40 |
whats the difference between Hobo and Super Mario?
The 'super' part 8(
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Marf> omg <3 u 4 ever |
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BlackJesus
Tender vittles  Posts: 40 Registered: 12/16/2003 Offline
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1/23/2007 at 13:45 |
whats the difference between MY ASSHOLE IS RIPPING |
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Clavis_Apocalypticae
Beautiful Puppet of Chaos  SSHOLEPosts: 726 Registered: 5/16/2004 Offline
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10/23/2007 at 20:11 |
A little black baby dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives, he finds God in the Wing Room putting wings on a bunch of white folks. The little black baby gets in line.
When his turn comes, God puts a set of black wings on him. He asks God, "Am I an angel now?"
God laughs and says to the little black baby, "Naw nigga; u a bat."
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My liver is full of dried fartpudding. Scorched Earth was a savage success. |
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ragoo
We are not amused.  SSHOLEPosts: 646 Registered: 9/4/2004 Offline
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10/24/2007 at 02:17 |
A guy comes home from work, and as his wife greets him at the door, he hands her a bouquet of flowers.
"So I guess you expect me to spread my legs for this, huh?" she asks.
The man shakes his head. "What, you don't have a fucking vase?"
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Interjections show excitement or emotion. They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong. |
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jwalker
Token Discordian SSHOLEPosts: 939 Registered: 8/6/2005 Offline
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2/19/2008 at 17:01 |
I stepped into an elevator, and on the way up an old lady asked me "Can I smell your balls?" Flustered, I replied "No!, Of course not!" To which she answered, "Then it must be your feet."
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To the dog who has money, men say "My Lord Dog". |
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Lefen
I think Clavis wins my heart <3  SSHOLEPosts: 895 Registered: 9/16/2003 Offline
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2/19/2008 at 22:03 |
What do a walrus and a submarine have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
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< barfass> hey, fuck your crumpets, postman pat |
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freakmachine
Web Fucko Extraordinaire  SSHOLEPosts: 586 Registered: 4/15/2004 Offline
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2/19/2008 at 22:33 |
Q: What do a woman and an airplane have in common?
A: They both have cockpits.
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"That ain’t no sex holler there" |
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fuckuall
What is this and what do I do?  SSHOLEPosts: 7 Registered: 12/3/2007 Offline
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2/20/2008 at 00:12 |
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-saur-ass
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopis
What would you do if you had enough money to send half the niggers back to Africa?
Send all of them back half way. |
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MstrLance
Tender vittles  Posts: 48 Registered: 2/7/2008 Offline
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2/20/2008 at 00:16 |
What's black and white and red, and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head.
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"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool. "
- Richard Feynman |
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thefamousnomo
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 52 Registered: 1/28/2008 Offline
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2/20/2008 at 08:38 |
whats orange and sounds like a parrot
a carrot
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i have to return some video tapes |
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