Crackalackin
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 373 Registered: 7/19/2004 Offline
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11/7/2006 at 07:43 |
The Democrats' best slogan: "Bush lost the war"
He also lowered Paris Hilton's taxes and botched the job of finding Osama. A few last talking points to help the party win back Congress.
By Bill Maher
Nov. 5, 2006 | New Rule: Controlling Congress is for closers. Listen up, Democrats, it's as simple as ABC: Always Be Closing. First prize? Controlling congressional committees, with subpoena power. Second prize: set of steak knives. Third prize? You're fired.
The election is four days away, and I'm through dicking around with you. Here are your talking points:
1) When they say, "Democrats will raise taxes," you say, "We have to, because some asshole spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton's taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden." In just six years the national debt has doubled. You can't keep spending money you don't take in, that's not even elementary economics, that's just called "Don't be Michael Jackson."
2) When they say, "The terrorists want the Democrats to win," you say, "Are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist's wet dream, and nonpartisan commissions have confirmed that he's a recruiter's dream: theirs, not ours. And, he has exhausted our military without coming away with a win, the worst of both worlds." Bush inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It's like a guy throwing shit on you and then selling you relief from the flies.
3) When they say, "Cut and Run" or "Defeatocrat," you say, "Bush lost the war -- period." All this nonsense about "the violence is getting worse because they're trying to influence our election." No, it's getting worse because you drew up the postwar plans on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebee's. And of course Democrats want to win, but that's impossible now that you've ethnically cleansed the place by making it unlivable, just like you did with New Orleans.
4) When they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are "denigrating" the troops, you say, "You're completely full of shit." Remember when Al Gore caught all that flak for sighing and moaning during that debate? Yeah, don't do that. Just say, "You're full of shit."
If I was a troop, the support I would want back home would mainly come in the form of people pressuring Washington to get me out of this pointless nightmare. That's how I would feel supported.
So when they say, "Democrats are obstructionists," you say, "You're welcome." Because with a bad administration that has bad ideas, obstruction is a good thing, just as it's a good thing to obstruct a drunk from getting his car keys. I would be happy to frame the debate as a fight between the Obstructionists and the Enablers. There's your talking point: "Vote Republican, and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor." A retarded, child emperor, but an emperor.
Democrats, you've got two days to get out there and close. It's not about slogans this time. Although when it comes to slogans, accept no other from your opponent except this one: "The Republican Party: We're Sorry."
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vladtweano
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 515 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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11/7/2006 at 12:59 |
Just vote. If you can't bring yourself to support a party, just go vote against incumbents. Nothing scares these pricks like voter turnout.
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autoshoes
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 65 Registered: 6/24/2002 Offline
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11/7/2006 at 15:20 |
werd.
only problem is, they usually don't detail WHO the incumbant is on the ballots (bastards).
I'm going and voting, and you should too. IT'S TODAY. GO. NOW.
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chronos
Tender vittles  Posts: 31 Registered: 11/15/2004 Offline
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11/7/2006 at 16:16 |
I'm not sure if its like this in the rest of the country, but the most irritating, contradictory, hilarious, and scary doublespeak I've encountered has been within the state congressional campaign commercials. They have been fucking SATURATING the local channels with these things. They contain the same powerwords that the national campaign rhetoric does, but they seem to have been assembled by a child. Just horrible graphical tiddly-winks. What scares me and almost gives me an anxiety reaction is that each and ever time that I hear those TV spots come on, I know that they are just sliding right into somebody's head. Then that person goes into the polling place with the accuracy of perception that the synopsis on the back of a novel would give them in regards to its complexity. All of these TV spots, both Dem and Rep, utilize quotes from local fucking newspapers as their pudding headed "argumentative points". Tight work, people. Real tight work.
I live in Florida. Yeah. That would explain it, I suppose. The television campaign spots seem so glaring and hamfisted in their fallacy. They should be more tightly controlled, maybe regulated by mandate. I don't know. They seem damaging. YeeeHaww!!
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Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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11/7/2006 at 23:20 |
Anyone who wants to see EITHER major party win any election is a complete retard. That includes you and Bill Maher. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit   SSHOLEPosts: 2379 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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11/7/2006 at 23:26 |
I voted against using gay fetuses for embryonic stem cell research.
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Crackalackin
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 373 Registered: 7/19/2004 Offline
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11/7/2006 at 23:55 |
Uart: Anyone who wants to see EITHER major party win any election is a complete retard. That includes you and Bill Maher.
Thanks! I guess if I was wiser, I'd want the party of Forest Keebler Elves to run the country.
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LOki
Refusenik  SSHOLEPosts: 480 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 00:19 |
Slogan: Voting for Democats IS NOT voting for Change ( no matter what Crackalackin trys to tell you.)
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Crackalackin
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 373 Registered: 7/19/2004 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 00:40 |
LOki: Slogan: Voting for Democats IS NOT voting for Change ( no matter what Crackalackin trys to tell you.)
What, pray tell, are the other options to achieve change? Except pulling a kHz and going abroad?
I (and others with me) have already donated my crumbs to the various organizations over the past years, and they were able to do jackshit for change, because the current government is drunken with power, blind, deaf, and dumb.
When checks-and-balances are obviously not working, it's time to change the checkers and the balancers.
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dagwood
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 352 Registered: 12/19/2004 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 01:32 |
GOP-Beating you with your own ignorance and fear since 1854.
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LOki
Refusenik SSHOLEPosts: 480 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 02:15 |
Crackalackin: LOki: Slogan: Voting for Democats IS NOT voting for Change ( no matter what Crackalackin trys to tell you.)
What, pray tell, are the other options to achieve change? Except pulling a kHz and going abroad?
I (and others with me) have already donated my crumbs to the various organizations over the past years, and they were able to do jackshit for change, because the current government is drunken with power, blind, deaf, and dumb.
When checks-and-balances are obviously not working, it's time to change the checkers and the balancers.
How about not voting for statists with a desire to make society work "their" way.
How about "manning up" just a wee bit and refrain from voting for yourself the shit you should be earning.
How about those suggestions?
I have no bitch with your disgust regarding blowing the economic windfall from tax cuts driving our economy up -- I just have a bitch with the alternative you present that amounts to blowing that same windfall on fucktards who are so useless, that they can't feed themselves.
I have no argument with assertions that Bush's policies are not winning friends and acolades with the Iranian proles. I also see no one arguing that making enemies of folks who a dedicated to being our enemies is really a policy issue. And though I might imagine various Munjeds and Akbars signing up at their local Al-Qeada recruiting office, I'm not seeing lately such a great ability or desire amongst them to attack civilians here--that might be because of a hard-linepolicy of non-appeasment, or perhaps the very threat of actually fucking up their potweef if we can generate the excuse to do so. I just defy you do demonstrate how being "Democrat" magically makes a difference to those fucks.
The fact that Bush is the COC is the clearly logical premis upon which all assertions that "he" is losing the war in Iraq can legitimately be made. Put a Democrat in the office though, and I'll wager your hypocracy will surely not allow you to assert your precious Democrat savior is losing the war.
And there is no doubt that the post -war plans for Iraq were largely non-existent at the moment the action was initiated. Yet none of your fucktarded Democrats have any viable post-war plan for Iraq, and that certainly does not stop you from placing them upon the pedestal of being the solution to all that is wrong with things now.
Yet I say, SO WHAT?
Oh, I see, you cite Bill "The Incredibly Fucktarded Fucktard" Maher, whose 4 bullshit points reek so much of irrational dumbfuck that their only appeal as argumentative points are the bewildering number of bullshit fallacies one is is required to choose from to refute them.
This is the problem with choosing otherwise clueless comedians with smarmy politicaly biased commentary as your role models for politcal action. Any retard can deconstruct, and critique action after the fact--in some circles it's known as Monday Morning Quarterbacking--and just like that fat retard in the lazy-boy can't run a football team, cable television comedians can't run a fucking country. And just because it SOUNDS like they have a point, it doesn't mean they ACTUALLY have one.
If you're going gripe about Bush and assign every fucking woe you can imagine upon him, please take possesion of that intellectual integrity that requires you to attempt to imagine the full consequences of your alternatives, and NOT fucking present, as an alternative, the exact lot of vicious retards that will make things WORSE than you can fucking imagine.
OK?
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2379 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 05:09 |
Wisconsin's Dem Governer got re-elected. This election boiled down to science. Madison is the cutting edge for stem cell research, and the Republican candidate came from a 'moral' point of view. Fuck that, let's cure disease. The anti- gay marriage initiative passed, but that was just an opinion poll really. I voted to allow faggots to marry, but it wasn't really an issue, it wouldn't of made it legal anyways. I'm glad that religious dogma failed in this state. Leave the moral issues to the individual, and let's move forward. If stem cell research isn't funded, it will never happen.
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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Crackalackin
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 373 Registered: 7/19/2004 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 05:24 |
Good, LOki, we're finally talking again.
Missed me by your first bullet -- I'm an independent, not a Democrat, and not a party whore. I hold allegiance to reason, logic and duty, and will vote for any politician which can justify the logic of his decisions and is motivated by the well-being of _all_ the strata of his constituents -- the poor, the middle-class and the rich.
Now, about the alternatives. The way I see it, if I got a huge boil on my body, I got to let the pus out and give it a chance to heal. Yes, there's a risk of other infection, but I really don't want the one I already got to claim my entire limb (or worse).
I am not voting for statists, I'm voting for change. They way I see it, if we've been swimming long in a pool of shit and getting deeper and deeper, maybe changing the direction is in order.
I don't know what's so manly about not voting. Are you advocating self-sufficiency and independence? Guess what, bucko, you live in a society with rules, and trying to live by your own is only going to get you as far as the wall of your little bubble. And there are new things out there that can burst your bubble really quickly. Roll it the wrong way -- and you'll be labeled an "terrorist" and may spend the rest of your excruciatingly painful life in Syrian torture chambers. And then, the bubble will burst. But that's just one, extreme example, there are many others that affect your daily life, business, etc...
So, to summarize:
(a) I am not a Democrat, but I really hate idiots and especially idiotic extremists in positions of power
(b) Voting for change is better than sinking still
(c) Let's wait and see if change will be for the better, shall we?
(d) When are we going to drink some serious alcohol, LOki? All this angry typing is no substitute for a drunken shouting match, backhand slapping, and eventual convergence on some happy middle ground along the lines of "politicians suck ass, fuck 'em all."
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dagwood
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 352 Registered: 12/19/2004 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 05:50 |
Ghostrider-If stem cell research isn't funded, it will never happen.
They've been making such a huge deal about this in Missouri, looks like the woman is gonna lose behind it. They're already pumping big dollars to the extent the repressive laws will allow in CA and CT, maybe MA as well. It will happen and it will help, the question is how long we're going to TRY and keep the technology from being used and helping alot of folks. When the science once again proves itself overwhelmingly beneficial, safe and , most of all profitable the morality debate will slip back into the woods where the preachers fuck their youngest parishioners.
I keep hoping to see someone, anyone rise above the fray and actually show some backbone and real integrity, someone who will try and do the most good for most of the people, they represent, are accountable to and are sworn to serve.. I heard Barak Obama on NPR telling Diane that everyone falls into the pit that is Wash politics, it's just the way the machine works. His partial answer was some national funding for elections so all the special interests aren't always served, so the big money doesn't win despite the consequences to the people and especially the environment.
Meanwhile, I have fallen into the conspiracy pit that prevents a minor felony probationer from voting atall, 3 yrs if I jump through all the hoops. At least I can remain aware and reasonably informed, most don't bother I'm afraid.
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LOki
Refusenik SSHOLEPosts: 480 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 18:58 |
Crackalackin:
I'm an independent, not a Democrat, and not a party whore.
I think you just confused the Crackalakin that started this thread.
Crackalackin:
I hold allegiance to reason, logic and duty, and will vote for any politician which can justify the logic of his decisions and is motivated by the well-being of _all_ the strata of his constituents -- the poor, the middle-class and the rich.
I think your allegiance to logic and reason only goes so far as to rationalize sacrificing the well being of those who carry their own weight in favor of those who don't.
Crackalackin:
Now, about the alternatives. The way I see it, if I got a huge boil on my body, I got to let the pus out and give it a chance to heal. Yes, there's a risk of other infection, but I really don't want the one I already got to claim my entire limb (or worse).
Fine, and the way I see it, if I have a huge boil on my body, I'm not going to trade it for a flesh-eating infection just because I feel I'm due for a change of pace.
I'm not challenging your desire for a change, I'm challenging yout desire for ANY change what-so-ever, regardless of whether that change is for the better or not. In the case of these Democrats, at the very best, they offer no change at all; and by and large they offer much worse--keep in mind that most of your Democrat "alternatives" actually voted FOR the going to war in Iraq (even while they claim such voting for the war wasn't voting for actually going to war) and then started throwing sticks in the spokes of practically every initiative related to the thing.
Crackalackin:
I am not voting for statists, I'm voting for change. They way I see it, if we've been swimming long in a pool of shit and getting deeper and deeper, maybe changing the direction is in order.
You are certainly advocating for statists, and if you're voting for them, you're certainly NOT voting for change.
They way I see it, if we've been swimming long in a pool of shit and getting deeper and deeper, maybe changing the shit is not really changing anything.
Crackalackin:
I don't know what's so manly about not voting.
I didn't say not voting was manly--I said not voting for aquiring the goods that you should be earning is manly. Avoiding the moral, and intellectually valid means of aquiring goods (earning) by voting to have them distributed to you without recompense is a pussy's maneuver.
Crackalackin:
Are you advocating self-sufficiency and independence? Guess what, bucko, you live in a society with rules, and trying to live by your own is only going to get you as far as the wall of your little bubble. And there are new things out there that can burst your bubble really quickly. Roll it the wrong way -- and you'll be labeled an "terrorist" and may spend the rest of your excruciatingly painful life in Syrian torture chambers. And then, the bubble will burst. But that's just one, extreme example, there are many others that affect your daily life, business, etc...
Guess what else bucko, slaves live in a society with rules. The foundational premise of you argument is faulty.
Crackalackin:
So, to summarize:
(a) I am not a Democrat, but I really hate idiots and especially idiotic extremists in positions of power
(b) Voting for change is better than sinking still
(c) Let's wait and see if change will be for the better, shall we?
(d) When are we going to drink some serious alcohol, LOki? All this angry typing is no substitute for a drunken shouting match, backhand slapping, and eventual convergence on some happy middle ground along the lines of "politicians suck ass, fuck 'em all."
(a) The idiots you're presenting as alternatives to the idiots in power are no less idiotic extremists than the idiotic extremists in power.
(b) Voting for change is only better when it's voting for a change for the better.
(c) No. Besides, we can do that without voting for Democrats-we can wait for the Republicans to make a change for the better.
(d) We will drink together the moment you man-up for a BBP--as I recall, you even spent the last gathering on your turf alone in a room full of scented candles, shaking in your little pink booties, while listening to Barbara Streisand albums to sooth your threatened self-esteem.
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Crackalackin
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 373 Registered: 7/19/2004 Offline
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11/8/2006 at 22:17 |
Why are your arguments suddenly about earning? How would the change in power deprive you of your earning opportunities and how is voting a sign that I want freebees?
LOki: (a) The idiots you're presenting as alternatives to the idiots in power are no less idiotic extremists than the idiotic extremists in power.
You're full of shit on that one.
LOki:
(b) Voting for change is only better when it's voting for a change for the better.
You're obviously not a computer scientist. The idea is that if you're stuck in a local minimum, you've got to try to take a random walk to get yourself out.
What is your proof that the alternative is _not_ better? Until we accumulate some evidence, your statement shall remain ass-speak.
LOki:
(c) No. Besides, we can do that without voting for Democrats-we can wait for the Republicans to make a change for the better.
Right, wait until we own fourteen generation's worth of GDP to China and Mexico, and 10K soliders die in Iraq for a neocons' idiotic wet dream of the "New American Century" which has no point and no chance of succeeding. We can also wait for the Congress to do more of "nothing" until the constitution becomes less meaningful than toilet paper, and people are sent to gulags en masse based on rumors of their informant neighbors. Thanks, but no thanks. I am fed up.
LOki:
(d) We will drink together the moment you man-up for a BBP--as I recall, you even spent the last gathering on your turf alone in a room full of scented candles, shaking in your little pink booties, while listening to Barbara Streisand albums to sooth your threatened self-esteem.
Good job projecting your homoerotic dreams onto my existence. It's definitely a huge step up from dreaming of Qwerty's sphincter, but you're never going to give up that hope, will you? That's what keeps you going...
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Heather
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 591 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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11/9/2006 at 01:01 |
meep?
The best slogan I saw locally was for Kinky -
"Why the hell not"
My candidate finished dead last. As usual. Soon I'll be courted to NOT show up at the polls.
My track record:
1992 H. Ross Perot ... James Stockdale ... Independent
Popular Vote - 19,743,821 or 18.91%
ELECTORAL 0 0.00%
1996 H. Ross Perot ... Pat Choate ... Reform
Popular Vote - 8,085,402 or 8.40%
ELECTORAL 0 0.00%
2000 Ralph Nader ... Winona LaDuke ... Green
Popular Vote - 2,883,105 or 2.73%
ELECTORAL 0 0.00%
2004 Michael Badnarik ... Richard Campagna ... Libertarian
Popular Vote - 397,265 or 0.32%
ELECTORAL 0 0.00% |
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1516 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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11/9/2006 at 02:38 |
The Democrats' best slogan: "Bush lost the war"
He also lowered Paris Hilton's taxes and botched the job of finding Osama. A few last talking points to help the party win back Congress.
By Bill Maher
Nov. 5, 2006 | New Rule: Controlling Congress is for closers. Listen up, Democrats, it's as simple as ABC: Always Be Closing. First prize? Controlling congressional committees, with subpoena power. Second prize: set of steak knives. Third prize? You're fired.
The election is four days away, and I'm through dicking around with you. Here are your talking points:
1) When they say, "Democrats will raise taxes," you say, "We have to, because some asshole spent all the money in the world cutting Paris Hilton's taxes and not killing Osama bin Laden." In just six years the national debt has doubled. You can't keep spending money you don't take in, that's not even elementary economics, that's just called "Don't be Michael Jackson."
2) When they say, "The terrorists want the Democrats to win," you say, "Are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist's wet dream, and nonpartisan commissions have confirmed that he's a recruiter's dream: theirs, not ours. And, he has exhausted our military without coming away with a win, the worst of both worlds." Bush inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to protect us from it. It's like a guy throwing shit on you and then selling you relief from the flies.
3) When they say, "Cut and Run" or "Defeatocrat," you say, "Bush lost the war -- period." All this nonsense about "the violence is getting worse because they're trying to influence our election." No, it's getting worse because you drew up the postwar plans on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebee's. And of course Democrats want to win, but that's impossible now that you've ethnically cleansed the place by making it unlivable, just like you did with New Orleans.
4) When they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are "denigrating" the troops, you say, "You're completely full of shit." Remember when Al Gore caught all that flak for sighing and moaning during that debate? Yeah, don't do that. Just say, "You're full of shit."
If I was a troop, the support I would want back home would mainly come in the form of people pressuring Washington to get me out of this pointless nightmare. That's how I would feel supported.
So when they say, "Democrats are obstructionists," you say, "You're welcome." Because with a bad administration that has bad ideas, obstruction is a good thing, just as it's a good thing to obstruct a drunk from getting his car keys. I would be happy to frame the debate as a fight between the Obstructionists and the Enablers. There's your talking point: "Vote Republican, and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor." A retarded, child emperor, but an emperor.
Democrats, you've got two days to get out there and close. It's not about slogans this time. Although when it comes to slogans, accept no other from your opponent except this one: "The Republican Party: We're Sorry."
Quoting this.
Looks like the libtards won the senate
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