Heather
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 591 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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10/25/2006 at 17:19 |
The premise is when an isolated incident occurs, it may raise an eyebrow. When this same incident happens repeatedly, you fantasize about inflicting bodily harm on the perpetrator. Or perp as we call them in my hood.
For starters, I hate
No ‘Thank you’ after I ‘God Bless You’
Ridiculous poodle like sneezes
Excessive sneezing sessions
Fat fingers touching my monitor
Interrupting my express elevator trip for one floor transport
Females who don’t know how to ask for help without whining or high pitched baby talk
Cell phone conversations in the bathroom
Long voicemail messages
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jwalker
Token Discordian   SSHOLEPosts: 933 Registered: 8/6/2005 Offline
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10/25/2006 at 17:41 |
"God Bless You" after sneezes
People who say "bye bye"
Someone holding the door for me from twenty feet away (I am quite capable of opening doors, thank you)
Hallway meetings that block the hall
Off-topic interruptions while someone is trying to make a point
Anything from Dubya's mouth
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To the dog who has money, men say "My Lord Dog". |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4333 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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10/25/2006 at 18:00 |
jwalker:
"God Bless You" after sneezes
People who say "bye bye"
People who won't Get The Living Fuk out of my way, be it vehicular or bipedal. If you want to move slow, that's fine, but don't make me do it too, you cretinous grazer. Low-rent-neighborhood grocery stores are excellent vectors for this kind of loathing.
People who hate silence and feel they need to share every passing thought.
White trash types who do the above with social drama situations, not realizing the indiscretion of telling the guy who just wants you to make his $5 sandwich that your 14-year-old going to juvy for stabbing another kid again is... uncool?
I won't even get into the making of said sandwiches.
I enjoy extended sneezing sessions. They're like a rare treat. I even like other peoples'. Ferrets' are the best thing ever.
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2379 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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10/25/2006 at 18:10  |
Have a Merry Christmas
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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JohnLenin
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 969 Registered: 7/8/2005 Online
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10/25/2006 at 18:55 |
people who feel they need to warn you of the dangers of smoking. no shit, dude.
people who call 'just to talk'. Either have an objective or fuk off.
quoting movie lines every other sentence. knock it off.
my mom emailing me pictures of cats with a jesus context.
the welsh.
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sodomize indifference. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2379 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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10/25/2006 at 19:01 |
Jon, please share some jesus cat photos.
Do you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese
in Europe ?
On 2006-10-25 at 14:04:52, ghostrider wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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JohnLenin
DARTH MENSES Posts: 969 Registered: 7/8/2005 Online
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10/25/2006 at 19:11 |
I deleted them. If I get more, I will share.
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sodomize indifference. |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get  SSHOLEPosts: 805 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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10/25/2006 at 20:01 |
People (usually men) who inch closer ad closer to your face as they talk to you. Each word that falls out of his mouth seems to bring him in closer and closer to my nose.
Store employees who insist on helping you find whatever you're looking for. Even after you tell them that you're just browsing, or you're all set, they continue to recommend products. This is a huge problem at Game Stop and Best Buy.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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freakbass
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 128 Registered: 2/12/2006 Offline
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10/25/2006 at 20:42 |
newbie surfer faggots who drop in on me
meth heads selling newspapers on the corners and offering bitter twitchy snarls when you show no interest.
MOSTLY: That Which Causes Road Rage. The people in Honolulu cannot drive. Some people mistake their over the top courteous behavior as having something to do with skill when the two are completely different. I literally see an accident happen once ever 3 weeks or so.
People who have no awareness that their breath smells like a sewer. FUCKING BRUSH YOUR TEETH! TAKE SOME ACIDOPHILUS! DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
-K V |
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dagwood
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 352 Registered: 12/19/2004 Offline
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10/26/2006 at 00:18 |
I'm with Vas on the dumbfuks in the minivans who will not cede right of way on the road which is rightfully MINE!
And the bigassed nigga bitches in the Walmarks who would be going backwards if they moved any slower.
Idiots who call into radio shows (esp. NPR) and are so enamored of their own voice that they will not get to the point. Heard one get cut off the other day while trying to lie her way through a ghost story. DJ just said ," sorry babe, but we got a rule after 4 "ummms" you're toast".
Clerks that continue chatting one another up, or finish their entire conversation before identifying my customer status when standing 6' tall at the register. Wonder if they get it or care when I just leave.
The sight, sound, mention or impending prospect of a GWB contribution.
School zone crossing guards who let the parking lot empty before allowing the main road to continue.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. |
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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache  SSHOLEPosts: 1583 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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10/26/2006 at 00:41 |
-Ladder climbing pussy faggot dick sucking coworkers.
-Poor customer service people.
-Truckers.
-Qwerty.
-People who believe that they know all about everything.
-Coffee lids that pop off whilst driving.
-Public Washrooms.
-French.
-Lots lots more.
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Sexninja> I will not your farts |
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middle_age_man
Mostly Harmless  SSHOLEPosts: 427 Registered: 1/11/2005 Offline
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10/26/2006 at 01:59 |
Everybody else at a four way stop.
Asshole dog owners that don’t pick up after their animal shits.
Photo centre clerks
People that end everything they say with a chuckle or laughter.
Hippies
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" Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
George Carlin |
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Stump
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 310 Registered: 6/18/2002 Offline
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10/26/2006 at 02:33 |
Humanity - all of you, every last one. You're eventually going to do something that will really irritate the fuck out of me so let's get it out of the way - I don't really like any of you, I manage to tolerate you and let my hatred sit at a low simmer until I hit the point I want to strangle you with your own entrails.
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Life loaded, verifying client data, please wait......... |
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Wrecker
Misanthrope  SSHOLEPosts: 420 Registered: 1/25/2006 Offline
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10/26/2006 at 02:57 |
- Wait staff that insist on waiting for you to put food in your mouth, then choose that time to ask you how your meal is.
- People who talk in movie theaters
- Politicians
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< nuevoSock_> "me and the phone cable plugged to her labia were shaking hands
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Wrecker
Misanthrope SSHOLEPosts: 420 Registered: 1/25/2006 Offline
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10/26/2006 at 02:57 |
Dammit, burned by the repeat monster.
On 2006-10-25 at 21:58:33, Wrecker wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
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< nuevoSock_> "me and the phone cable plugged to her labia were shaking hands
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freakmachine
Web Fucko Extraordinaire  SSHOLEPosts: 585 Registered: 4/15/2004 Offline
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10/26/2006 at 12:58 |
People who talk on their cell phones in movie theaters. I actually know someone who does this indiscriminately. I cleverly don't see movies with that person.
Girls showing me their boobies. JUST KIDDING, I LIKE THAT.
Anyone describing to me medical problems with their genitalia. Not interested thank you.
People who fervently believe 100% of all the conspiracy theories they hear and feel the need to sell you on themfrequently. I won't ever believe in reptilian humanoids and mind control towers. This also applies to ultra new agey types that do the same thing. And born agains.
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Heather
DARTH MENSES Posts: 591 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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10/27/2006 at 16:17 |
Condescending lecture when you state your (non)belief re:religion.
People who pop their gum
Retards that park on the dividing line of the parking space.
New parents
Kooky morning show DJ antics
Bicycle riders on the highway
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2379 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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10/27/2006 at 16:38 |
Fashionista 30-something couples in matching $900 leather jackets
Store clerks who sigh before they ring your purchase
Store bought tye-dyed shirts
Teenagers in trucker caps
Last but not least: Anyone who shops at Hot Topic
On 2006-10-27 at 11:39:34, ghostrider wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
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Kitty was thinking last night that some of the friendships that schnookums've forged here in the last several months are friendships that will last a lifetime. ~ nocal
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Silver_Raven
Tender vittles  Posts: 8 Registered: 11/24/2005 Offline
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10/28/2006 at 18:38 |
fat old joggers that refuse to get out of your way.
dorm drunks that feel the urge to run screaming down the hall at fucking 4 am when you got to sleep for an 8am test (burn in hell all of you)
politicians and those who come up with positions like 'director of lessons learned'
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pity the newb... |
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Acidburn
I am El Chupacabra  SSHOLEPosts: 724 Registered: 8/1/2004 Offline
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10/28/2006 at 22:06 |
Fat chicks who were tight jeans/ skirts.
Slow drivers in the fast lane.
Foreigners who hav been in the US for more than 5 years and still can't speak english.
Pushy customers.
Cellphone convos in any line in any store.
The people who, in shopping stores walk down the middle of the isle with a shopping cart and block the isle looking for something on the shelf.
Crying kids on a long airplane flight.
People coughing constantly on the planes on these long flights.
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No you can't have my rights. I'm not through with them!
Perfection is not a destination, it's a path. |
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die  SSHOLEPosts: 735 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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10/28/2006 at 23:49 |
I must be a real grumpy old bastard 'cos I agree with all of these and then some. Including ( but not limited to ):
Ex-smokers who give me shit for still smoking.
Workplace superiors who let me do their job ( out of sheer laziness ) but take the credit anyway.
Dickheads who think that a paper qualification is more important in the workplace than the actual skills required to do the job.
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1858 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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10/30/2006 at 13:45 |
Fat chicks who let their g-string show out of the top of their skin tight jeans; fucking gross.
Chicks in general who sequel/scream like pigs for attention.
Assholes who want to talk about the weather. This is goddamn Maine the weather is going to change in a few minutes. I do not fucking care how windy, sunny, warm, cold, rainy it is right now.
Idiots talking moronic conversations on their cell phones in public places LOUDLY.
That is all I have right now. I just woke up.
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I am a fine wine: smooth, full bodied.... goes down easy. |
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JohnLenin
DARTH MENSES Posts: 969 Registered: 7/8/2005 Online
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10/30/2006 at 23:19 |
Dumbskull:
Chicks in general who sequel/scream like pigs for attention.
wut
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sodomize indifference. |
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Heather
DARTH MENSES Posts: 591 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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10/31/2006 at 00:11 |
Chicks that scream and then scream again. Scream sequel.
Getting pinged 5 minutes before its time for you to leave.
Wangsters. In rural towns. In Texas.
Shoppers who walk up to the rack of clothes you are currently browsing and shoving a shamu sized space on the same rack, closing off your browsing section.
Petty rack shoving matches between people who don't have the courage to say, "excuse me, I was here first cuntmuscle. Thanks."
Cloying cologne/perfume in an elevator. |
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