baesparza
Tender vittles  Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 12:31 |
So, I am new. I know I am alive because I can still get it up. When I die I want my ashes made into those little seashell soaps that you keep in your guest bathroom. But, I want them to stay in the original shrinkwrap so the can gather dust from longing disuse. Seriously, I'm a 44 yo guy who has nothing to show for my college education but my fancy misuse of big words. I live in the Seattle area which has nothing to show for itself but serial-killers and software monopolies. I love perverted porn and fluffy kittens. Oh, I have so devolved into irony and sarcasm that I am no longer a viable member of the human race, except that I can still get it up, so I know that I am alive....
Cheers, Bradley
On 2006-08-05 at 07:33:00, baesparza wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
JohnLenin
Putting the semen in amusement   SSHOLEPosts: 1050 Registered: 7/8/2005 Online
|
8/5/2006 at 12:48 |
Hello.
____________________
[Clavis_A] he's one of the few people i've ever seen that bear a striking resemblence to their own dick |
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 12:50 |
I put all my heart and soul into a post and all you can say is hello!
Hi! How are you?
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
fl_projekt
I AM TEH FUKING FISHPUNCHAR. I WILL RAPE YOUR WOMEN AND CHILDREN AND PETS.  SSHOLEPosts: 449 Registered: 8/8/2003 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 13:27 |
____________________
Think noone cares if your alive?........... try missing a couple of car payments |
| |
vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4464 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 13:30 |
HELLO BRADLEY
meep meep nigga drivin da bus
On 2006-08-05 at 08:41:06, vasudeva wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
____________________
slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
| |
Wrecker
Misanthrope  SSHOLEPosts: 452 Registered: 1/25/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 13:55 |
Hi,
Are you a serial killer?
____________________
< nuevoSock_> "me and the phone cable plugged to her labia were shaking hands
|
| |
HOBO
* b0bo has quit IRC ('Exit')  SSHOLEPosts: 1120 Registered: 3/19/2002 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 15:46 |
Can we call you Brad? That would be cheeky.
____________________
" I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question." ~Spock~
|
| |
LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache  SSHOLEPosts: 1623 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 16:24 |
____________________
the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim |
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 17:21 |
being cheeky would be calling me "Peanut" a childhood nickname.
If only I had AIDS, think of all the pity I could have, and it would be a great way to get the best seats and make-a-wish crap, i.e. I may be dying but I want to spank Hugh Jackman, etc.
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
tantrum
I'm a big boy now!  SSHOLEPosts: 474 Registered: 11/23/2003 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 17:32 |
Are you sure you want to act like this, so early in your career? |
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 17:34 |
I've had a lot of therapy recently. Bring it on, butt-munch. Besides my mommy will protect me.
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache SSHOLEPosts: 1623 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 17:37 |
baesparza: I've had a lot of therapy recently. Bring it on, butt-munch. Besides my mommy will protect me.
____________________
the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim |
| |
tantrum
I'm a big boy now! SSHOLEPosts: 474 Registered: 11/23/2003 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 17:40 |
I've had a lot of therapy recently. Bring it on, butt-munch. Besides my mommy will protect me.
LOLLY LOLLY.
Fine. Have it your way.
On 2006-08-05 at 12:43:14, tantrum wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth |
| |
tantrum
I'm a big boy now! SSHOLEPosts: 474 Registered: 11/23/2003 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 18:03 |
baesparza
|
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 18:16 |
yes?
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1902 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 18:45 |
Bradley,
Welcome to LinkSwarm
Your message intrigued me.
I have a few questions for you.
How many fluffy kittens do you plow into in a month while enjoying perverted porn alone in your humble abode?
What type of worthless degree did you waste money pursuing?
If you woke up one morning and found you could no longer get it up would you then kill yourself?
You did not state if you wished to be made into scented decorative bath soap with colors or just plain cheap and generic soaps. It seems you have put some thought into shrink-wrap covering, however scent and color appears to have slipped your mind completely. Any thoughts on this?
Have you ever contemplated how exciting the life of a serial killer must be? Don’t knock it until you have tried it.
You mentioned therapy, would you care to share with the rest of the Swarm what your major malfunction is besides the obvious (hyper sexual Oedipus Complex and Bestiality)?
On 2006-08-05 at 13:46:33, Dumbskull wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
On 2006-08-05 at 13:47:46, Dumbskull wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
____________________
Easier to get into than a community college. |
| |
Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 19:09 |
This thread made me chub.
Its just soo sexy. |
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 19:20 |
Dumbskull: Bradley,
Welcome to LinkSwarm
Your message intrigued me.
I have a few questions for you.
How many fluffy kittens do you plow into in a month while enjoying perverted porn alone in your humble abode?
When they are in season, the supply is virtually unlimited. However, as I have gotten older, I don't plow - as you say - as often as I used to.
What type of worthless degree did you waste money pursuing?
Physics -> Greek History -> Classics -> Sociolinguistic Anthropology
If you woke up one morning and found you could no longer get it up would you then kill yourself?
No, you, cheerfully. I like to make lemonade out of my lemons.
You did not state if you wished to be made into scented decorative bath soap with colors or just plain cheap and generic soaps. It seems you have put some thought into shrink-wrap covering, however scent and color appears to have slipped your mind completely. Any thoughts on this?
I like to leave some choice to those left behind. Is vomit a color and a smell?
Have you ever contemplated how exciting the life of a serial killer must be? Don’t knock it until you have tried it.
Like I said, I try to keep an open mind. I'll take your suggestion under advisement.
You mentioned therapy, would you care to share with the rest of the Swarm what your major malfunction is besides the obvious (hyper sexual Oedipus Complex and Bestiality)?
Have you seen the car commercial where the people shout out there dysfunction? Mine is the daddy didn't hug me kind. But, I have found that detached and bitter sarcasm was thr key to my healing. Well, that and hyper sexual Oedipal sexuality.
On 2006-08-05 at 16:36:00, SexNinjaMcDeath wistfully remembered Bowie's codpiece in Labyrinth
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4464 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 19:31 |
baesparza: [...] dysfunction? Mine is the daddy didn't hug me kind.
Darling, your slip is showing...
____________________
slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 19:32 |
It's either a jockstrap or commando.
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4464 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 19:56 |
baesparza: It's either a jockstrap or commando.
Oh! I admit I'm not comprehensively familiar with slips but I didn't think they were worn inside ones mouth.
Where does your nick come from? Is it Italian for 'sparklemeat'?
____________________
slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
| |
Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1902 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
|
8/5/2006 at 19:59 |
What type of worthless degree did you waste money pursuing?
Physics -> Greek History -> Classics -> Sociolinguistic Anthropology
Please tell me you are flaming heterosexual so we can be soul mates!
____________________
Easier to get into than a community college. |
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/6/2006 at 03:44 |
I used to be into the ladies, till I figured out that guys put out WAY more and don't expect me to stick around after my sparklemeat erupts. I also considered myself very good at the cunnilingus you ladies seem to like so much. But, strangely enough, I don't enjoy fellatio.
And, Vascular, baesparza stands for Bradley Allen ESPARZA. Esparza, my last name, is from the Valle de Esparza in the Navarre region of Spain. The first Esparza , Lope Esparza, came from the area of Germany in 1044. His given name was originally Eiseberry, given to him by a German, King Lawrence. Esparza may be Latin for grass growing sparsely in an arid landscape. It's also conjectured that the name is actually Basque, from Espartza.
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache SSHOLEPosts: 1623 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
|
8/6/2006 at 05:09 |
baesparza: I used to be into the ladies, till I figured out that guys put out WAY more and don't expect me to stick around after my sparklemeat erupts. I also considered myself very good at the cunnilingus you ladies seem to like so much. But, strangely enough, I don't enjoy fellatio.
And, Vascular, baesparza stands for Bradley Allen ESPARZA. Esparza, my last name, is from the Valle de Esparza in the Navarre region of Spain. The first Esparza , Lope Esparza, came from the area of Germany in 1044. His given name was originally Eiseberry, given to him by a German, King Lawrence. Esparza may be Latin for grass growing sparsely in an arid landscape. It's also conjectured that the name is actually Basque, from Espartza.
Holy shit, it's Khz
____________________
the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim |
| |
Uart
DARTH MENSES Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
|
8/6/2006 at 05:09 |
baesparza: I used to be into the ladies, till I figured out that guys put out WAY more and don't expect me to stick around after my sparklemeat erupts. I also considered myself very good at the cunnilingus you ladies seem to like so much. But, strangely enough, I don't enjoy fellatio.
And, Vascular, baesparza stands for Bradley Allen ESPARZA. Esparza, my last name, is from the Valle de Esparza in the Navarre region of Spain. The first Esparza , Lope Esparza, came from the area of Germany in 1044. His given name was originally Eiseberry, given to him by a German, King Lawrence. Esparza may be Latin for grass growing sparsely in an arid landscape. It's also conjectured that the name is actually Basque, from Espartza.
Please go on... How about an address, credit card number and whatnot?
PS -- I bet ole Lope would be proud of you. |
| |
baesparza
Tender vittles Posts: 27 Registered: 8/5/2006 Offline
|
8/6/2006 at 05:31 |
I usually warn people not to engage me unless they are committed. Did I forget to put that in my profile? I like to see myself type. Remember, I'm the newbie, focus on ME!
P.S. They won't let me have a credit card.
____________________
"I'm as moist as a snack cake down there." Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy
|
| |
vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4464 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
|
8/6/2006 at 12:20 |
baesparza: The first Esparza , Lope Esparza, came from the area of Germany in 1044.
I get the feeling more is meant by "area of Germany" than you would have meant had you just typed "Germany."
____________________
slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
| |
middle_age_man
Mostly Harmless  SSHOLEPosts: 427 Registered: 1/11/2005 Offline
|
8/6/2006 at 15:17 |
baesparza: I used to be into the ladies, till I figured out that guys put out WAY more and don't expect me to stick around after my sparklemeat erupts. I also considered myself very good at the cunnilingus you ladies seem to like so much. But, strangely enough, I don't enjoy fellatio.
And, Vascular, baesparza stands for Bradley Allen ESPARZA. Esparza, my last name, is from the Valle de Esparza in the Navarre region of Spain. The first Esparza , Lope Esparza, came from the area of Germany in 1044. His given name was originally Eiseberry, given to him by a German, King Lawrence. Esparza may be Latin for grass growing sparsely in an arid landscape. It's also conjectured that the name is actually Basque, from Espartza.
____________________
" Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
George Carlin |
| |
slippedhole
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 234 Registered: 4/24/2004 Offline
|
8/6/2006 at 17:14 |
Hi baesparza.
I'm surprised and excited to learn Linkswarm has its first, very own, outed gay man. WELCOME.
It has always seemed to me that there is room for all types here as long as they are interesting characters. I, myself, have been a controversial player at times and little is known about my true nature. You're courage to be exactly who you are, in the face of a judgmental world has inspired me to live likewise....I am gay also.
I have not revealed that in this forum and expect certain ramifications, but I am encouraged to know that there is another person like me here. Maybe we can band together and support each other in the face of whatever adversity comes up? That would be nice, bro.
Anyway, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest. My mind is aflutter with all the things we can talk about and bring on here at Linkswarm.
I had an idea...it's something I've done myself, in secret, and I'd like to compare notes with you. I'm going to post pictures of many prominent Linkswarm members and I'd like you to rate and review, 'How hawt each guy makes you'. Then I'll post my list. To be fair, please give a detailed account of your gay opinion, so nobody's feelings get hurt.
Azron
Beachgoat
Hobo
Chex
Cube
Dent
Dragonstaff
Dumbskull
Fastlane
Fl_project
GDR
Ghostrider
Gothmog
lefen
LOki
Lownotes
LK
Madturk
Metatron
Mundhra
Nocal
qwerty
Ragoo
Sexninja
Shitbox
Steel
Vasudeva
Wotak
Yaz
I know that I’m leaving out loads of members. I probably couldn’t find a picture of you to post. Feel free to post them yourself to be rated (guitar jon is especially absent). This is going to be really good.
____________________
No seriously im cool, im not going to get into some stupid BS because someone is butt hurt about what ever.-wolfer |
| |
JohnLenin
Putting the semen in amusement SSHOLEPosts: 1050 Registered: 7/8/2005 Online
|
8/6/2006 at 17:31 |
slippedhole:guitar jon is especially absent
____________________
[Clavis_A] he's one of the few people i've ever seen that bear a striking resemblence to their own dick |
| |
