BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 11:17 |
Tonight I got a phone call from my security guard's girlfriend. I had wondered why he hadn't shown up yet. It was 1am and he was due at 11pm. Turns out that he and one of the dishwashers (they're both Mexican Nationals) had sailed off of the cliff on highway 41 between Morro Bay & Atascadero. The car was totalled, the passenger put in a coma (first reports exaggerated), and he scurried off like a rat and hid, calling his girlfriend to come get him. The girlfriend drove down to find him, but couldn't, but she did manage to catch the attention of the 15 cop cars and the helicopter that were all looking for him. When they asked if she knew him, she had to tell them the truth, and within a couple of minutes, the dogs flushed him out into the joy and safety of tasers, mace, and police batons. After a thorough beating in front of his girlfriend, they packed him off to jail.
He was drunk. He will probably serve 7 to ten. This was his third DUI and the second time he had wrecked a car and fled with an injured passenger still trapped in the vehicle.
It also turns out (God, I love this gossip shit) that he had knocked up his passenger's wife and taken her to get an abortion two days before. Rumour is that the passenger was punching him in the face when they went off the road. If that wasn't enough, they've added burgurly charges for him ripping off his next door neighbor's trailer.
Don't do this. It is not worth it.
Any other horror stories to use as object lessons?
On 2005-12-31 at 02:54:21, BeachGoat enjoyed furrysex
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!   SSHOLEPosts: 1896 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 12:35  |
Driving crunk is dumb.
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die  SSHOLEPosts: 741 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 13:12 |
No horror stories, fortunately, but I have to say that I am glad he won't be doing this again. If he wasn't smart enough to learn from the first two times, then he will never learn, and 20 years inside will at least keep the rest of you safe from him.
I just wish drunk drivers who killed someone got the same treatment here. Alas, they just lose their licence for a year or two and cop a $2000.00 fine or so. They rarely stop driving, drunk or sober.
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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middle_age_man
Mostly Harmless  SSHOLEPosts: 427 Registered: 1/11/2005 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 13:13 |
A good friend of mine burned to death in a van that was hit by a drunk driver. She was eighteen. My wife lost her older sister, who was pregnant along with her fiancé to a drunk driver. They were in a mustang that was hit head-on by a one ton truck, the driver of the truck was killed as well.
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" Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
George Carlin |
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sahlgoode
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 254 Registered: 7/6/2005 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 15:18 |
Drunks are just dumb.
I had shared a two-bedroom with a firefighter that was the nicest person you'd
ever meet. It was good to have someone I could trust to watch my stuff when I
was on the road.
The problem was that when I was in town, we throw party's every week-end.
We'd cram as many people into the building as possible, crank the tunes, and
light up the herbal jazz cigarettes. Of course there'd be libations on hand. Mostly
beer, but some rye, tequila, gin, wine, and sweet creamy stuff for the ladies.
I suppose everyone knows what happens next. Instant ass-hole: Just add alcohol.
He'd start a fight. EVERYTIME!!! The problem was, despite him being in physically
fit shape to be a firefighter, he had no idea how to protect himself in a fight, so we'd
end up taking him to the hospital for stitches, EVERYTIME!!!
One time I was sitting around with a bunch of friends, at a pre-party gathering, and
we were discussing how we could prevent this from happening yet again later on in
the evening. The solution sounded brilliant upon it's conception:
Hand-cuff him to the sexiest girl at the party! What could go wrong?
Surprisingly enough, the number of willing victims....er..subjects, exceeded the
number of available sets of hand-cuffs. (I only had one pair) We chose the
ballerina over the stripper, thinking the sang-froid was a better approach than
Laura Lipp's overt verbosity.
Later on at the party, all seemed to be going smoothly. We'd even managed to
get past the usual time reserved for the trip to the hospital. Our plan had worked
out just fine. Even the ballerina was enjoying herself...........until.
I was in my room, under the assumption that everything was going according to
plan, and just laying the vinegar strokes to some slampiece de jour, when my
sister (OH GOD MY SISTER) bursts in, and tells me my roomy is freaking out.
This is when I do my best firefighter impression, and am getting dressed on the
run to the scene of the disaster. Coins and shit falling out of my pockets while
I'm doing so. (read: shit=key to the cuffs)
Roomy is standing on a kitchen chair screaming that he can take on the world
one-handed, while ballerina is crying at the top of her lungs. The plan wasn't as
sound as we had thought.
Placing myself between the two, I pay attention to the ballerina, and calm her down
first. (Like someone stuck in a corral with a bull) This has the desired effect of also
calming down roomy. Sitting roomy down, I explain that A) he is an asshole, and
B) I will not un-lock the cuffs as long as he is going to be one. He agree's with my
terms, and I proceed to dig in my pockets for the key.
Well dear readers, I did find the key. (about a week later, under the bed) In the
mean time it's another trip to the hospital to have the hand-cuffs cut off. During
the search for, and apparent loss of keys, everyone was calm, and even continued
with a partyish attitude.
Who drove to the hospital if everyone was drunk? None other than myself.
It's because of roomies like the firefighter, that I've always practiced the art
of deception when hosting parties. One beer at the begining, and then I fill up
the bottle with gingerale, or water. I still have fun, never suffer from bouts of
"Dead Kennedy Syndrome" (aka: Too drunk to fuck) and it's easier dealing
with assholes sober.
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get  SSHOLEPosts: 841 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 15:19 |
40oz don't fit in the cup holders on my console. The horror.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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qwerty
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 628 Registered: 9/8/2004 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 15:39 |
Drunk people and cars makes me a sad panda.
wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak! wotak!
Working in a club we spend a fortune making sure that there are other available options. We offer our own coutesy bus to drive people safely to their doors(currently have 4 buses). We donate huge ammounts to the council run drunk bus so that it will pick up drunks and take them home if they live too far away to catch our bus. We go to great lengths to protect the taxi drivers when they come to our club so they wait just up the road (on a sunday night we have most of the local cabbies inside playing pokies - if someone needs one I'll run in a grab one, then they come straight back and put the money they've just made back into the pokies). We use our control room(cammera's and other security monitoring) to collect number plates and phone them through to the police if anyone looks remotely intoxicated.
Yet given everything we do whenever the police run RBT's on all outbound roads from the club there are always dozens of cars left along side the road when I drive home. The worst part of all this is that we're the highest profiting club around with the least number of incidents so if people are still leaving our club drunk then the percentage of other idiots drinking elsewhere is mind blowing. Thankgod we also close last in town so when I leave there are no drunks driving home in the opposite direction.
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4414 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 15:55 |
sahlgoode: I used to be totally awesome.
Back in school
you could turn all the boys' heads.
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To win, you must fight not only the creature you encounter; you must fight the most horrible thing that can be constructed from its corpse. |
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard  SSHOLEPosts: 1620 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 15:56 |
dent: 40oz don't fit in the cup holders on my console. The horror.
LOLLERPUTIANS
p.s. everytime i see
sahlgoode: herbal jazz cigarettes i cringle
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But the whole of modern so-called civilized existence is an attempt to deny reality insofar as it exists. When did Don last look at the stars, when did Norman last get soaked in a rainstorm? |
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shitbox
my balls your chin, get used to that idea  SSHOLEPosts: 918 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 17:17 |
Ive lost two close friends to alcohol related accidents. Another one crashed his mustang, broke his femur and had massive head trauma...they could see his cd player embedded in his engine block. I suppose that tree just jumped right out in front of him. With the first offence racking up a total of 5k in punitive damages, 6-12 months of drivers liscense loss, and it remains on your record for 10 fucking years...im soooo lucky I never got one.
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"Kill him! Kill the fuckin' indian! What am I watching here two fuckin' fags!?"
Rodney Dangerfield as Ed Wilson
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wolfer
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 429 Registered: 12/1/2003 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 20:01 |
On my wife's birthday we went out and had a healthy dinner and a pitcher of beer. Which BTW is two glasses each. I'm a rather large guy so 2 beers is nothing. Driving the Mustang back home, I change lanes and hit a wet patch and spin into a ditch across the street. My wife who was wearing her seat belt under her arm instead of over hit the dash and was knocked out. When the Constable shows up he is immediately in my face. Gives me a street test ( which I passed) . The ambulance comes and takes my wife to the hospital. I not knowing the law refused to signed his ticket which in turn gave him the right to slap the cuffs on me to take me to the station for a breathalyzer. We get there and i pass the test with a .058. He then tells me he is arresting me and taking me to county for public intoxication. I still don't know if my wife is ok or dead or what. So he hands me over to the county mounties at which point I ask to use the phone to inform my parents of my wifes where abouts by phone. This big pissed nigger cop decides to beat the shit out of me breaking 3 of my ribs and stomping his military cop issue boots into my back causing me also to not ever to be able to perform my job. To top it off the judge was licking the counties balls and I never had a chance in hell of winning this. In turn the coppers gave me a resisting arrest and search to cover there buts for beating mine. So the justice system is fuckered and I don't trust cops. There is my drinking story.
On 2005-12-30 at 14:03:05, wolfer enjoyed furrysex
On 2005-12-30 at 14:03:43, wolfer enjoyed furrysex
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My Dixie Wrecked! |
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geazerpleazer
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 62 Registered: 8/26/2005 Offline
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12/30/2005 at 22:44 |
I knew three of the people in this crash from variouse party's i went to. I actually got a ride home from Nathan a couple times, i was invited to the same party they were at and if i wasnt grounded i might have got a ride home from them. this is the news article, i dont know how to do the clicky website thangs so ill just put this.
(http://64.78.155.72/news/view.asp?ID=2507) for the unlazy...
An early Saturday morning car crash in Pueblo has claimed three lives. The accident's sole survivor is now fighting for her life.
The accident happened near the corner of 18th and West Street.
Neighbors say the car was in so many pieces, they couldn't even tell the make and model.
Witnesses say the victims' vehicle careened over a hill at more than 100 miles an hour, and crashed into a tree -- splitting it in half, and throwing the four occupants more than half a block away.
Neighbor Kim Moore said, "I heard a crash about 2:00 in the morning, came outside to see what it was, saw that there was a body laying out in the street."
Police say alcohol may have played a factor in the crash.
The only survivor, 17 year old Nicole Rosseau is now clinging to life at Denver General Hospital.
Family members say 21 year-old Nathan Trujillo and 18 year-old Vanessa Maestas were killed instantly.
Police have not confirmed the third victim's identity.
Posted By: Alejandra Gonzales (Updated: 7/25/2004 12:07:14 AM)
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 908 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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12/31/2005 at 04:20 |
geazerpleazer: I knew three of the people in this crash from variouse party's i went to. I actually got a ride home from Nathan a couple times, i was invited to the same party they were at and if i wasnt grounded i might have got a ride home from them. this is the news article, i dont know how to do the clicky website thangs so ill just put this.
(http://64.78.155.72/news/view.asp?ID=2507) for the unlazy...
An early Saturday morning car crash in Pueblo has claimed three lives. The accident's sole survivor is now fighting for her life.
The accident happened near the corner of 18th and West Street.
Neighbors say the car was in so many pieces, they couldn't even tell the make and model.
Witnesses say the victims' vehicle careened over a hill at more than 100 miles an hour, and crashed into a tree -- splitting it in half, and throwing the four occupants more than half a block away.
Neighbor Kim Moore said, "I heard a crash about 2:00 in the morning, came outside to see what it was, saw that there was a body laying out in the street."
Police say alcohol may have played a factor in the crash.
The only survivor, 17 year old Nicole Rosseau is now clinging to life at Denver General Hospital.
Family members say 21 year-old Nathan Trujillo and 18 year-old Vanessa Maestas were killed instantly.
Police have not confirmed the third victim's identity.
Posted By: Alejandra Gonzales (Updated: 7/25/2004 12:07:14 AM)
Good thing you were grounded.
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bwned. |
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wolfer
DARTH MENSES Posts: 429 Registered: 12/1/2003 Offline
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12/31/2005 at 10:10 |
government_death_robot: geazerpleazer: I knew three of the people in this crash from variouse party's i went to. I actually got a ride home from Nathan a couple times, i was invited to the same party they were at and if i wasnt grounded i might have got a ride home from them. this is the news article, i dont know how to do the clicky website thangs so ill just put this.
(http://64.78.155.72/news/view.asp?ID=2507) for the unlazy...
An early Saturday morning car crash in Pueblo has claimed three lives. The accident's sole survivor is now fighting for her life.
The accident happened near the corner of 18th and West Street.
Neighbors say the car was in so many pieces, they couldn't even tell the make and model.
Witnesses say the victims' vehicle careened over a hill at more than 100 miles an hour, and crashed into a tree -- splitting it in half, and throwing the four occupants more than half a block away.
Neighbor Kim Moore said, "I heard a crash about 2:00 in the morning, came outside to see what it was, saw that there was a body laying out in the street."
Police say alcohol may have played a factor in the crash.
The only survivor, 17 year old Nicole Rosseau is now clinging to life at Denver General Hospital.
Family members say 21 year-old Nathan Trujillo and 18 year-old Vanessa Maestas were killed instantly.
Police have not confirmed the third victim's identity.
Posted By: Alejandra Gonzales (Updated: 7/25/2004 12:07:14 AM)
Good thing you were grounded.
Or you might have lost a eye or something
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My Dixie Wrecked! |
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BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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12/31/2005 at 10:46 |
They printed the story. My favorite part is the verification of the girlfriend's description of him being chased out of the bushes by the dogs into the clubs, taser and mace of 20 cops.
It also turns out (God, I love this gossip shit) that he had knocked up his passenger's wife and taken her to get an abortion two days before. Rumour is that the passenger was punching him in the face when they went off the road. If that wasn't enough, they've added burgurly charges for him ripping off his next door neighbor's trailer.
On 2005-12-31 at 05:53:05, BeachGoat enjoyed furrysex |
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die SSHOLEPosts: 741 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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1/1/2006 at 01:17 |
With two previous DUI's and seemingly obvious criminal tendencies, how did this guy ever get a security licence?
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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