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My ex girlfriend gave me a cupcake blowj > New Topic  Post Reply
Lap Dances         3162 reads

I think Clavis wins my heart <3


SSHOLE


Posts: 903
Registered: 9/16/2003
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11/21/2005 at 11:13
This is awesome.

This is the first pornsite I've found in years that I'd actually advertise to swarmers. When you first load it up, it looks just like every crappy scam site out there, except that it's real. It's huge, it's updated constantly, there's no spam, no popups, and no bullshit -- and it's completely free. When you sign up through that link above and respond to the confirmation email, I make a bit of loose change.

See what other swarmers have to say about it. People love this place, so I feel fine about sending you there and am confident you will enjoy boners.

The thread below is what brought you here, but chances are by now the images are broken, the passwords don't work, and you can't get shit to load. You're welcome to try, of course, but This is your best bet.



Don't forget to respond to the confirmation email , or you won't get in, so check your spam filter, pervert.



This message is only shown to anonymous peeps coming in from other websites looking for porn. Registered users are not shown any ads here.

Now, on to the original post...
Since I'm off to Amsterdam for a stag do this weekend, the subject of lap dances came up a coffee this morning. Loads of the guys had horror stories ranging strippers with rancid breath to not being allowed to leave a dodgy Hungarian strip-club until they'd spent all their money.

So I figured the Swarm would have some pretty cool stories about encounters with strippers, lap dancers, h0's and other 'professional' ladies, so don't be shy, tell us!






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DARTH MENSES




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11/21/2005 at 12:11

in holland when you go to any fetish brothel don't ask for the special gift.






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my balls your chin, get used to that idea


SSHOLE

Posts: 958
Registered: 1/9/2005
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11/21/2005 at 20:13

And when in mexico...go see the donkey show!







I was in vegas about a year ago and got my first lapdance...at the Olympic Garden. I must say ive never spent $200 soo damn fast. Lameness extrodinare.






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"Kill him! Kill the fuckin' indian! What am I watching here two fuckin' fags!?"
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Putting the semen in amusement


SSHOLE

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Registered: 7/8/2005
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11/21/2005 at 21:13




VANDERSEXXX!


On 2005-11-21 at 15:14:26, guitarjon123 enjoyed furrysex






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[Clavis_A] he's one of the few people i've ever seen that bear a striking resemblence to their own dick
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Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get


SSHOLE

Posts: 884
Registered: 10/20/2004
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11/21/2005 at 23:40

I've had plenty of lapdances when I was younger, but honestly, lapdances are usually pretty lame. But, here's a quick little story...

I went to a strip club for my bachelor party. We all drank and watched skanks running around with bandAIDS on their asses - not kidding. Anyway, we were all watching some rancid hooker dancing upstairs in the totally nude section on the second floor. She was by far the nastiest chick out of all the skinny dancers. She had dimples and pimples all over her skin, and a few bruises for character depth.

I started heckling her, because she was really gross, and I really don't care about peoples feelings.

In an attempt to sway my feelings toward her, she sat down on the stage and shoved two fingers deep inside her cave of infection. I have to admit, it was almost hot, since I was surrounded by all my friends, and none of them have twats.

She comes over to me, and tries to make me smell her fingers, which completely ruined the moment, and made me say much more hurtful things to her. She then grabbed a buddy of mine by the back of the head and as soon as he opened his mouth to say something mean, she shoved her wet fingers in his mouth. I'm not kidding, this guy literally pushed her with both hands, right in the tits and she fell off the stage. He ran to a nearby table and puked all over the floor (beer and crappy wings from Hooters just hours earlier).

I have no respect for strippers doing shit like that for attention. My buddy probably has HIV or full blown carpet ninja by now.






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DARTH MENSES




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Registered: 4/23/2004
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11/22/2005 at 01:01

dent:carpet ninja

What's that?






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liberal exit


SSHOLE

Posts: 2502
Registered: 7/29/2004
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11/22/2005 at 01:04

I wish I could help. I've been to Holland twice, but I was all about the hash and flowers. Meet some locals, they be some weird folks, even by European standards.


sry, but i had to comment

On 2005-11-21 at 19:11:32, ghostrider enjoyed furrysex
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