DonQuixote
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 641 Registered: 4/22/2005 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 21:39  |
Swarmers,
What do you do in public restrooms?
I'll start...
I HATE taking shits in public restrooms. Especially ones in the office cause you know who shat before thee and what they might have.
I ALWAYS check the seat to see if there is any moister or drops or just plain shit. If its just a little splashback, I will wipe it off with tissue and use TWO (2) of those sanitary cover things. So its like 2 ply but covers.
When I am done I make sure everything flushes all the way down, so the person after me doesn't have to deal with that. Then I pull up pants trying to touch as little on my person as possible. Then I wash my hands thoroughly and opn the door with a paper towel.
Now you go!
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( . )( . ) <--- Boobs.
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ghostrider
liberal exit   SSHOLEPosts: 2502 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 21:44 |
I like to snort meth off the tops of the tank. I also masturbate in every Starbucks restroom I get the chance.
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LSD? Heck no, those were Opal Thompson's dinner rolls. |
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JohnLenin
Putting the semen in amusement  SSHOLEPosts: 1103 Registered: 7/8/2005 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 21:53 |
I usually spray my gnarly pewp-stew all over the handle and inside the seat-cover dispenser.
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[Clavis_A] he's one of the few people i've ever seen that bear a striking resemblence to their own dick |
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truenative
I'm what makes bread wonder.  SSHOLEPosts: 327 Registered: 1/6/2005 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 21:55 |
I wait for the guy in the maroon van at 3:45 on wednesdays
*begin edit
Actually I have a real public restoom phobia.
Never #2
#1 only and I sand wayyyyy back from the urinal. I'm still young enough to have good pressure.
NEVER Port-O-Johns
I'd rather pee on them than in them
* end edit
[Edited on 17/11/2005 by truenative]
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I live for Warm Beer and Cold Women! |
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middle_age_man
Mostly Harmless  SSHOLEPosts: 427 Registered: 1/11/2005 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 21:56 |
When using a public washroom at work, I like to shit in the vicinity of the toilet but never in the toilet. It’s how real men mark their territory and it keeps your coworkers on their toes
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" Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
George Carlin |
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Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 23:39 |
I used to never drop a deuce in a public restroom... EVER
College fixed that. The quickest way around a phobia is to be 2 hours away from the only place you used to be willing to shit.
A couple of pieces of TP is all I do to make sure I don't sit on someone's piss/shit/sperm |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4538 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 23:42 |
Swarmers,
What do you do in public restrooms?
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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dinozoa
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 319 Registered: 7/18/2004 Offline
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11/17/2005 at 23:47 |
I'm really not bugged by toilet seats. I have more of a phobia of peeing while somebody's watching me than sitting on a public toilet.
Tyler Durden from fight club: "I can't go if you're watching me." |
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1537 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 00:13 |
dinozoa: I'm really not bugged by toilet seats. I have more of a phobia of peeing while somebody's watching me than sitting on a public toilet.
Tyler Durden from fight club: "I can't go if you're watching me."
Word up, but I also hate it when anyone else is in there even if they're not staring at me. I generally avoid public restrooms whenever possible.
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HAMFIGHTER> He shrugged, and started finishing himself off, on my breasts, while I was crying. |
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Clavis_Apocalypticae
Beautiful Puppet of Chaos  SSHOLEPosts: 780 Registered: 5/16/2004 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 00:51 |
I don't care if someone else is in the room, and I really don't give a shit if they're trying to catch a peek while I piss. If they want to be sad, that's their business.
I do have one public washroom rule, though: I don't shit in them. I'm not taking 5 minutes to cover the seat with paper, I'm not "hovering", and I can't stand to wipe my ass with that John Wayne toilet paper.
I'm on about a 24 hour schedule for having to drop a deuce, so if I know I'm getting near my time, I'll hang close to home, or make sure that home is inbetween two errands.
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Just another freak in the freak kingdom. |
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BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 12:42 |
I'll hold a loaf for a week rather than pinch it in a public john, and I've stood/ walked out a half dozen times before I could pee if there's a lot of traffic.
On the other hand, if it's someone I know, I'm not above "light sword" fights with the urine streams...
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HOBO
* b0bo has quit IRC ('Exit')  SSHOLEPosts: 1144 Registered: 3/19/2002 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 13:38 |
I will crap and pee anywhere anytime. we have become such a spoiled society, just over a hundred years ago people used bedpans and outhouses.
Just wipe down the toilet and get on with your business ya bunch of wimpy fruitcakes.
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" I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question." ~Spock~
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4538 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 14:20 |
BeachGoat: I've stood/ walked out a half dozen times before I could pee if there's a lot of traffic.
I did that for years before I discovered a trick.
Think of a person you despise.
Imagine their face down there and you're pissing all over it. It'd probably land in the eyes first, because you have a sadistic streak in you, then stream down the cheeks like the tears of a clown. Switch to side shot of the brute's flat ignoble forehead taking a direct stream of piss. Ain't shit he can do about it.
Always works.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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middle_age_man
Mostly Harmless SSHOLEPosts: 427 Registered: 1/11/2005 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 14:26 |
What I hate about public washrooms are the assholes who want to chat with you at the urinal. Talking with strangers while you piss is like getting caught masterbating.
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" Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
George Carlin |
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SexNinja
the illest nigga SSHOLEPosts: 1537 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 14:43 |
Those would be the homosexuals.
Stay away from those.
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HAMFIGHTER> He shrugged, and started finishing himself off, on my breasts, while I was crying. |
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metatron
Fighting The Good Fight ™  SSHOLEPosts: 494 Registered: 4/12/2002 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 14:44 |
Have you ever actually LOOKED down inside a port-o-potty? It's enough to make you dry-heave. Imagine a mountain of turds and femenine hygiene products soaked in a blue goo. fucking disgusting. I'd rather soil myself than even hover over that stuff. yuck.
I too do not like shatting in public restrooms, but not for hygenicial reasons. I'm perfectly comfortable using a seat cover. My problem lies in the noises that are often made whilest shitting. The Grunts, the plops, the occasional slippery farts - I can't stand to hear these noises, let alone make them. Only if the bathroom is a one-seater, or is completely empty and sure to be empty for a few minutes will I actually consider shitting there. I don't want to be "that guy" that you snicker to yourself about as you leave the restroom to tell your friends about it.
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"it's water out of your body" - vasudeva |
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vladtweano
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 517 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 15:13 |
middle_age_man: What I hate about public washrooms are the assholes who want to chat with you at the urinal.
Fuck yes. I am obviously busy. Talk to me later.
Something I've noticed, not that I'm grossed out by it. Some guys seem to feel compelled to spit in the urinal before they piss. It's almost like some weird ritual, like the urinal must suffer a lesser indignity before being pissed on.
Anecdote: the bathrooms here at work have two urinals in them, separated by a steel barrier thing mounted on the wall. In the past few weeks, the barriers in both bathrooms have been broken at the top bracket. While awaiting repair, they are adorned with a handwritten note warning DO NOT LEAN ON THIS. IT'S BROKEN. I'm pretty sure I know which lumbering jabba is responsible for this. He's the same guy that makes great sighing 'EEEeeeehhhhhh' noises while he's pissing. Humans are mostly disgusting.
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"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others."
- Groucho Marx |
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nocal
It's insane, this guy's taint  SSHOLEPosts: 821 Registered: 8/25/2004 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 15:29 |
What I hate about public washrooms are the assholes who want to chat with you at the urinal. Talking with strangers while you piss is like getting caught masterbating.
Word up, but I also hate it when anyone else is in there even if they're not staring at me. I generally avoid public restrooms whenever possible.
I can't piss if someone is in the bathroom, even if they're washing their hands. So I'm getting piss tested by the NCAA freshman year, it's 7am, I'm alone in a room with a guy who basically has to stand behind me to make sure it's actually me filling the little cup. I can't go. He starts talking to me. "So, where ya from?" I'M TRYING TO PISS DOOD. It took me like an hour. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4538 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 15:58 |
vladtweano: Something I've noticed, not that I'm grossed out by it. Some guys seem to feel compelled to spit in the urinal before they piss. It's almost like some weird ritual, like the urinal must suffer a lesser indignity before being pissed on.
I notice this a lot too. My hypothesis: it's a ritualized marking of territory.
I've caught myself doing it, even.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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qwerty
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 628 Registered: 9/8/2004 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 16:16  |
They don't get more public than club public rest rooms. Here are s0me tricks I've learned.
Don't take a shit after 10pm - by this time at least 50 people have urinated on the seat and no ammount of scrubbing off the pee stains is gonna stop the red lumps showing up on you arse in the next few days.
If you do take a shit then make sure it is in a toilet with more than 2 urinals - biggie right there. When more than 2 guys are taking a wizz the others will always goto the cubical. Refer to the above about red lumps on your bum.
Disabled toilets are teh bomb!!!1! How many handicaps do you see in your local pub / club? It is amazing how many people don't realise that they are there. They are big and roomie and are normally maintained pretty well compared to everything else.
Talking to people... Where as I don't start the conversation I will chat back, however you must not look at each other until you are washing your hands!!!!!11!!
Drugs in public restrooms - YES PLEASE!!! If you're a smart user you will notice that most security and barstaff do not use the main toilets in the club as we do find them a disscusting health problem and more so the puddles of other mens urine on the floor can pose a threat to shoes (My shoes don't wear out; they instead usually begin to gather acid burns fr0m urine, beer and spirits). Plus there are no cammera's in the toilets. Even smarter users know that toilets with baby change r00m attached provide a sanitary haeven f0r cutting a line.
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fnord linkswarm fnord |
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Heather
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 686 Registered: 11/24/2004 Online
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11/18/2005 at 18:46 |
Lordy. Who knew you guys were so paranoid about a skoch of analbroth?
I recently had occasion to discuss with my husband the availability of varied-height urinals in men’s rooms.
“when you take our son to the bathroom, do you have to hold him while he goes?”
“no”
“well how does he reach”
“there’s always a short one, same as for toilets in the ladies”
Women do not have multitude of sizes or heights for commodes. He still refuses to believe this.
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qwerty
DARTH MENSES Posts: 628 Registered: 9/8/2004 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 19:21  |
During lockup I go thru womens toilets to make sure everyones out of the club and that no-one's passed out and right now I say this to all women swarmers: girls, ladies, female humans... yo are fucking filthy mofo's yo!!11!!!
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fnord linkswarm fnord |
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sunny77
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 230 Registered: 11/2/2005 Offline
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11/18/2005 at 19:25 |
I used to always drop a douche in a public restroom... shhh...it's a secret
fix'd
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l hate wrecker. That is all. |
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BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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11/19/2005 at 12:12 |
vasudeva: BeachGoat: I've stood/ walked out a half dozen times before I could pee if there's a lot of traffic.
I did that for years before I discovered a trick.
Think of a person you despise.
Imagine their face down there and you're pissing all over it. It'd probably land in the eyes first, because you have a sadistic streak in you, then stream down the cheeks like the tears of a clown. Switch to side shot of the brute's flat ignoble forehead taking a direct stream of piss. Ain't shit he can do about it.
Always works.
Actually, I usually picture Sandra Say and Cynthia Cutler pissing in the school sandbox together when I was in second grade at recess. Fascinated the Heck out of me at the time, and still triggers the urge. Works every time.
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HellKat
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 177 Registered: 1/19/2005 Offline
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11/19/2005 at 14:40 |
vladtweano: middle_age_man: What I hate about public washrooms are the assholes who want to chat with you at the urinal.
Hey, I'm not a guy but it seems The obvious response is to keep pissing and make a full body turn to reply. My guess is that they won't bother you again. ____________________ am I ignorant or apathetic? don't know, don't care..... |
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HellKat
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 177 Registered: 1/19/2005 Offline
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11/19/2005 at 14:43 |
and I am not a freak about using toilet seats, although I *always* inspect for bodily waste and wipe them off. If I find bodily waste, I change stalls. I am much more grossed out by the women who don't wash their hands, but fix their makeup and lipstick.
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am I ignorant or apathetic? don't know, don't care..... |
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Acidburn
I am El Chupacabra  SSHOLEPosts: 804 Registered: 8/1/2004 Online
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11/19/2005 at 17:48 |
I will avoid a public restroom at all cost. I carry TP in the truck. I have even pulled over on side of the freeway, parked the truck at an angle and destroyed an ant mound to avoid public restrooms. I will however use the ones at work.
They are cleaned everyhour and they have ass gaskets. As a joke I always strike up a conversation with the guy next to me in the shitter. If I walk in on someone pissing and I know them I give them a goose"Stops the flow instantly". Or if I hear someone in the room whilst I am shatting I will push the biggest fart I can muster. Maybe I have a shit fettish. It's natural man. Let it go.
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No you can't have my rights. I'm not through with them!
You got Down Syndrome so bad you probably have up,left and right too.
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This is Rabbit. and it kills everyday.
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Mofo
dont give a shit  SSHOLEPosts: 438 Registered: 2/8/2004 Offline
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11/19/2005 at 19:53 |
Someone hovers in my school and had the runs. Looked like a fucking warzone. |
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Danny_Inferno
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 97 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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11/20/2005 at 03:43 |
ok so here's an idea regarding the pooping in public issue:
years ago i read a book called 'the colon health handbook' by robert grey.
in it, among other things, he recommends coffee enemas.
it helps clean the bowels etc. of gnarley stuff that hangs in there. but also stimulates the gall bladder and is good for the liver.
anyways, if you got into it, you could do an enema before you go out or whatever, and have that bit 'o business over and done with at your convenience.
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die  SSHOLEPosts: 767 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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11/20/2005 at 03:53 |
Mofo: Someone hovers in my school and had the runs. Looked like a fucking warzone.
Yeah, there is nothing worse than walking into a stall and finding the bowl, seat, tank et al has been spraypainted with liquid shit. This used to happen regularly at a place I worked, I still don't know who the culprit was. Why the fuck can't people clean up their own mess?
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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