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BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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8/21/2005 at 11:50 |
*The Long Emergency *
*What's going to happen as we start running out of cheap gas to
guzzle? By JAMES HOWARD KUNSTLER*
A few weeks ago, the price of oil ratcheted above fifty-five dollars a
barrel, which is about twenty dollars a barrel more than a year ago. The
next day, the oil story was buried on page six of the //New York Times//
business section. Apparently, the price of oil is not considered
significant news, even when it goes up five bucks a barrel in the span
of ten days. That same day, the stock market shot up more than a hundred
points because, CNN said, government data showed no signs of inflation.
Note to clueless nation: Call planet Earth.
Carl Jung, one of the fathers of psychology, famously remarked that
"people cannot stand too much reality." What you're about to read may
challenge your assumptions about the kind of world we live in, and
especially the kind of world into which events are propelling us. We are
in for a rough ride through uncharted territory.
It has been very hard for Americans -- lost in dark raptures of nonstop
infotainment, recreational shopping and compulsive motoring -- to make
sense of the gathering forces that will fundamentally alter the terms of
everyday life in our technological society. Even after the terrorist
attacks of 9/11, America is still sleepwalking into the future. I call
this coming time the Long Emergency.
Most immediately we face the end of the cheap-fossil-fuel era. It is no
exaggeration to state that reliable supplies of cheap oil and natural
gas underlie everything we identify as the necessities of modern life --
not to mention all of its comforts and luxuries: central heating, air
conditioning, cars, airplanes, electric lights, inexpensive clothing,
recorded music, movies, hip-replacement surgery, national defense -- you
name it.
The few Americans who are even aware that there is a gathering
global-energy predicament usually misunderstand the core of the
argument. That argument states that we don't have to run out of oil to
start having severe problems with industrial civilization and its
dependent systems. We only have to slip over the all-time production
peak and begin a slide down the arc of steady depletion.
The term "global oil-production peak" means that a turning point will
come when the world produces the most oil it will ever produce in a
given year and, after that, yearly production will inexorably decline.
It is usually represented graphically in a bell curve. The peak is the
top of the curve, the halfway point of the world's all-time total
endowment, meaning half the world's oil will be left. That seems like a
lot of oil, and it is, but there's a big catch: It's the half that is
much more difficult to extract, far more costly to get, of much poorer
quality and located mostly in places where the people hate us. A
substantial amount of it will never be extracted.
The United States passed its own oil peak -- about 11 million barrels a
day -- in 1970, and since then production has dropped steadily. In 2004
it ran just above 5 million barrels a day (we get a tad more from
natural-gas condensates). Yet we consume roughly 20 million barrels a
day now. That means we have to import about two-thirds of our oil, and
the ratio will continue to worsen.
The U.S. peak in 1970 brought on a portentous change in geoeconomic
power. Within a few years, foreign producers, chiefly OPEC, were setting
the price of oil, and this in turn led to the oil crises of the 1970s.
In response, frantic development of non-OPEC oil, especially the North
Sea fields of England and Norway, essentially saved the West's ass for
about two decades. Since 1999, these fields have entered depletion.
Meanwhile, worldwide discovery of new oil has steadily declined to
insignificant levels in 2003 and 2004.
Some "cornucopians" claim that the Earth has something like a creamy
nougat center of "abiotic" oil that will naturally replenish the great
oil fields of the world. The facts speak differently. There has been no
replacement whatsoever of oil already extracted from the fields of
America or any other place.
Now we are faced with the global oil-production peak. The best estimates
of when this will actually happen have been somewhere between now and
2010. In 2004, however, after demand from burgeoning China and India
shot up, and revelations that Shell Oil wildly misstated its reserves,
and Saudi Arabia proved incapable of goosing up its production despite
promises to do so, the most knowledgeable experts revised their
predictions and now concur that 2005 is apt to be the year of all-time
global peak production.
It will change everything about how we live.
To aggravate matters, American natural-gas production is also declining,
at five percent a year, despite frenetic new drilling, and with the
potential of much steeper declines ahead. Because of the oil crises of
the 1970s, the nuclear-plant disasters at Three Mile Island and
Chernobyl and the acid-rain problem, the U.S. chose to make gas its
first choice for electric-power generation. The result was that just
about every power plant built after 1980 has to run on gas. Half the
homes in America are heated with gas. To further complicate matters, gas
isn't easy to import. Here in North America, it is distributed through a
vast pipeline network. Gas imported from overseas would have to be
compressed at minus-260 degrees Fahrenheit in pressurized tanker ships
and unloaded (re-gasified) at special terminals, of which few exist in
America. Moreover, the first attempts to site new terminals have met
furious opposition because they are such ripe targets for terrorism.
Some other things about the global energy predicament are poorly
understood by the public and even our leaders. This is going to be a
permanent energy crisis, and these energy problems will synergize with
the disruptions of climate change, epidemic disease and population
overshoot to produce higher orders of trouble.
We will have to accommodate ourselves to fundamentally changed conditions.
No combination of alternative fuels will allow us to run American life
the way we have been used to running it, or even a substantial fraction
of it. The wonders of steady technological progress achieved through the
reign of cheap oil have lulled us into a kind of Jiminy Cricket
syndrome, leading many Americans to believe that anything we wish for
hard enough will come true. These days, even people who ought to know
better are wishing ardently for a seamless transition from fossil fuels
to their putative replacements.
The widely touted "hydrogen economy" is a particularly cruel hoax. We
are not going to replace the U.S. automobile and truck fleet with
vehicles run on fuel cells. For one thing, the current generation of
fuel cells is largely designed to run on hydrogen obtained from natural
gas. The other way to get hydrogen in the quantities wished for would be
electrolysis of water using power from hundreds of nuclear plants. Apart
from the dim prospect of our building that many nuclear plants soon
enough, there are also numerous severe problems with hydrogen's nature
as an element that present forbidding obstacles to its use as a
replacement for oil and gas, especially in storage and transport.
Wishful notions about rescuing our way of life with "renewables" are
also unrealistic. Solar-electric systems and wind turbines face not only
the enormous problem of scale but the fact that the components require
substantial amounts of energy to manufacture and the probability that
they can't be manufactured at all without the underlying support
platform of a fossil-fuel economy. We will surely use solar and wind
technology to generate some electricity for a period ahead but probably
at a very local and small scale.
Virtually all "biomass" schemes for using plants to create liquid fuels
cannot be scaled up to even a fraction of the level at which things are
currently run. What's more, these schemes are predicated on using oil
and gas "inputs" (fertilizers, weed-killers) to grow the biomass crops
that would be converted into ethanol or bio-diesel fuels. This is a net
energy loser -- you might as well just burn the inputs and not bother
with the biomass products. Proposals to distill trash and waste into oil
by means of thermal depolymerization depend on the huge waste stream
produced by a cheap oil and gas economy in the first place.
Coal is far less versatile than oil and gas, extant in less abundant
supplies than many people assume and fraught with huge ecological
drawbacks -- as a contributor to greenhouse "global warming" gases and
many health and toxicity issues ranging from widespread mercury
poisoning to acid rain. You can make synthetic oil from coal, but the
only time this was tried on a large scale was by the Nazis under wartime
conditions, using impressive amounts of slave labor.
If we wish to keep the lights on in America after 2020, we may indeed
have to resort to nuclear power, with all its practical problems and
eco-conundrums. Under optimal conditions, it could take ten years to get
a new generation of nuclear power plants into operation, and the price
may be beyond our means. Uranium is also a resource in finite supply. We
are no closer to the more difficult project of atomic fusion, by the
way, than we were in the 1970s.
The upshot of all this is that we are entering a historical period of
potentially great instability, turbulence and hardship. Obviously,
geopolitical maneuvering around the world's richest energy regions has
already led to war and promises more international military conflict.
Since the Middle East contains two-thirds of the world's remaining oil
supplies, the U.S. has attempted desperately to stabilize the region by,
in effect, opening a big police station in Iraq. The intent was not just
to secure Iraq's oil but to modify and influence the behavior of
neighboring states around the Persian Gulf, especially Iran and Saudi
Arabia. The results have been far from entirely positive, and our future
prospects in that part of the world are not something we can feel
altogether confident about.
And then there is the issue of China, which, in 2004, became the world's
second-greatest consumer of oil, surpassing Japan. China's surging
industrial growth has made it increasingly dependent on the imports we
are counting on. If China wanted to, it could easily walk into some of
these places -- the Middle East, former Soviet republics in central Asia
-- and extend its hegemony by force. Is America prepared to contest for
this oil in an Asian land war with the Chinese army? I doubt it. Nor can
the U.S. military occupy regions of the Eastern Hemisphere indefinitely,
or hope to secure either the terrain or the oil infrastructure of one
distant, unfriendly country after another. A likely scenario is that the
U.S. could exhaust and bankrupt itself trying to do this, and be forced
to withdraw back into our own hemisphere, having lost access to most of
the world's remaining oil in the process.
We know that our national leaders are hardly uninformed about this
predicament. President George W. Bush has been briefed on the dangers of
the oil-peak situation as long ago as before the 2000 election and
repeatedly since then. In March, the Department of Energy released a
report that officially acknowledges for the first time that peak oil is
for real and states plainly that "the world has never faced a problem
like this. Without massive mitigation more than a decade before the
fact, the problem will be pervasive and will not be temporary."
Most of all, the Long Emergency will require us to make other
arrangements for the way we live in the United States. America is in a
special predicament due to a set of unfortunate choices we made as a
society in the twentieth century. Perhaps the worst was to let our towns
and cities rot away and to replace them with suburbia, which had the
additional side effect of trashing a lot of the best farmland in
America. Suburbia will come to be regarded as the greatest misallocation
of resources in the history of the world. It has a tragic destiny. The
psychology of previous investment suggests that we will defend our
drive-in utopia long after it has become a terrible liability.
Before long, the suburbs will fail us in practical terms. We made the
ongoing development of housing subdivisions, highway strips, fried-food
shacks and shopping malls the basis of our economy, and when we have to
stop making more of those things, the bottom will fall out.
The circumstances of the Long Emergency will require us to downscale and
re-scale virtually everything we do and how we do it, from the kind of
communities we physically inhabit to the way we grow our food to the way
we work and trade the products of our work. Our lives will become
profoundly and intensely local. Daily life will be far less about
mobility and much more about staying where you are. Anything organized
on the large scale, whether it is government or a corporate business
enterprise such as Wal-Mart, will wither as the cheap energy props that
support bigness fall away. The turbulence of the Long Emergency will
produce a lot of economic losers, and many of these will be members of
an angry and aggrieved former middle class.
Food production is going to be an enormous problem in the Long
Emergency. As industrial agriculture fails due to a scarcity of oil- and
gas-based inputs, we will certainly have to grow more of our food closer
to where we live, and do it on a smaller scale. The American economy of
the mid-twenty-first century may actually center on agriculture, not
information, not high tech, not "services" like real estate sales or
hawking cheeseburgers to tourists. Farming. This is no doubt a
startling, radical idea, and it raises extremely difficult questions
about the reallocation of land and the nature of work. The relentless
subdividing of land in the late twentieth century has destroyed the
contiguity and integrity of the rural landscape in most places. The
process of readjustment is apt to be disorderly and improvisational.
Food production will necessarily be much more labor-intensive than it
has been for decades. We can anticipate the re-formation of a
native-born American farm-laboring class. It will be composed largely of
the aforementioned economic losers who had to relinquish their grip on
the American dream. These masses of disentitled people may enter into
quasi-feudal social relations with those who own land in exchange for
food and physical security. But their sense of grievance will remain
fresh, and if mistreated they may simply seize that land.
The way that commerce is currently organized in America will not survive
far into the Long Emergency. Wal-Mart's "warehouse on wheels" won't be
such a bargain in a non-cheap-oil economy. The national chain stores'
12,000-mile manufacturing supply lines could easily be interrupted by
military contests over oil and by internal conflict in the nations that
have been supplying us with ultra-cheap manufactured goods, because
they, too, will be struggling with similar issues of energy famine and
all the disorders that go with it.
As these things occur, America will have to make other arrangements for
the manufacture, distribution and sale of ordinary goods. They will
probably be made on a "cottage industry" basis rather than the factory
system we once had, since the scale of available energy will be much
lower -- and we are not going to replay the twentieth century. Tens of
thousands of the common products we enjoy today, from paints to
pharmaceuticals, are made out of oil. They will become increasingly
scarce or unavailable. The selling of things will have to be reorganized
at the local scale. It will have to be based on moving merchandise
shorter distances. It is almost certain to result in higher costs for
the things we buy and far fewer choices.
The automobile will be a diminished presence in our lives, to say the
least. With gasoline in short supply, not to mention tax revenue, our
roads will surely suffer. The interstate highway system is more delicate
than the public realizes. If the "level of service" (as traffic
engineers call it) is not maintained to the highest degree, problems
multiply and escalate quickly. The system does not tolerate partial
failure. The interstates are either in excellent condition, or they
quickly fall apart.
America today has a railroad system that the Bulgarians would be ashamed
of. Neither of the two major presidential candidates in 2004 mentioned
railroads, but if we don't refurbish our rail system, then there may be
no long-range travel or transport of goods at all a few decades from
now. The commercial aviation industry, already on its knees financially,
is likely to vanish. The sheer cost of maintaining gigantic airports may
not justify the operation of a much-reduced air-travel fleet. Railroads
are far more energy efficient than cars, trucks or airplanes, and they
can be run on anything from wood to electricity. The rail-bed
infrastructure is also far more economical to maintain than our highway
network.
The successful regions in the twenty-first century will be the ones
surrounded by viable farming hinterlands that can reconstitute locally
sustainable economies on an armature of civic cohesion. Small towns and
smaller cities have better prospects than the big cities, which will
probably have to contract substantially. The process will be painful and
tumultuous. In many American cities, such as Cleveland, Detroit and St.
Louis, that process is already well advanced. Others have further to
fall. New York and Chicago face extraordinary difficulties, being
oversupplied with gigantic buildings out of scale with the reality of
declining energy supplies. Their former agricultural hinterlands have
long been paved over. They will be encysted in a surrounding fabric of
necrotic suburbia that will only amplify and reinforce the cities'
problems. Still, our cities occupy important sites. Some kind of urban
entities will exist where they are in the future, but probably not the
colossi of twentieth-century industrialism.
Some regions of the country will do better than others in the Long
Emergency. The Southwest will suffer in proportion to the degree that it
prospered during the cheap-oil blowout of the late twentieth century. I
predict that Sunbelt states like Arizona and Nevada will become
significantly depopulated, since the region will be short of water as
well as gasoline and natural gas. Imagine Phoenix without cheap air
conditioning.
I'm not optimistic about the Southeast, either, for different reasons. I
think it will be subject to substantial levels of violence as the
grievances of the formerly middle class boil over and collide with the
delusions of Pentecostal Christian extremism. The latent encoded
behavior of Southern culture includes an outsized notion of
individualism and the belief that firearms ought to be used in the
defense of it. This is a poor recipe for civic cohesion.
The Mountain States and Great Plains will face an array of problems,
from poor farming potential to water shortages to population loss. The
Pacific Northwest, New England and the Upper Midwest have somewhat
better prospects. I regard them as less likely to fall into lawlessness,
anarchy or despotism and more likely to salvage the bits and pieces of
our best social traditions and keep them in operation at some level.
These are daunting and even dreadful prospects. The Long Emergency is
going to be a tremendous trauma for the human race. We will not believe
that this is happening to us, that 200 years of modernity can be brought
to its knees by a world-wide power shortage. The survivors will have to
cultivate a religion of hope -- that is, a deep and comprehensive belief
that humanity is worth carrying on. If there is any positive side to
stark changes coming our way, it may be in the benefits of close
communal relations, of having to really work intimately (and physically)
with our neighbors, to be part of an enterprise that really matters and
to be fully engaged in meaningful social enactments instead of being
merely entertained to avoid boredom. Years from now, when we hear
singing at all, we will hear ourselves, and we will sing with our whole
hearts.
//Adapted from The Long Emergency, 2005, by James Howard Kunstler, and
reprinted with permission of the publisher, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.//
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum   SSHOLEPosts: 639 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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8/21/2005 at 13:04 |
I'm down with running out of oil. I've always wanted to live in the little house on the prairie with half-pint and her hawt sister.
But seriously, the must fucked up thing about this whole energy mess is: People just don't get it.
Two years ago, the power went out here in the thumb of Michigan for about 10 days. It was quiet as fuck. I remember it like it was yesterday because Aug 15 was the day my wife and I finally tied the knot. We waited 10 years to get married, planned everything, ordered everything, had it all set up and 10 days before we got married the lights got turned out.
I remember not giving a fuck about the electricity. I'd just as soon live without it. It was quiet. Peaceful even.
...but everything we paid for, the cake, the tuxs, the judge, the tables and chairs, the decorations for the yard (we married in the back yard), the catering... etc, etc. ALL of it was a bust because, it seemed, nobody ELSE knew how accomplish anything without electricity.
Well, the electricity came on 4 hours before the wedding was scheduled to begin, and like a mirical - and ONLY with the help of my friends and neighbors - we enjoyed a perfect party and almost everyone that was invited showed up.
Just like the story above states - we're heading into an era where communities will need to learn to work together to survive.
You'd better get to know your neighbors..
...and don't live on a debit card. They don't work when the lights go out.
Frankly, I don't think most of America is capable of that.
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die  SSHOLEPosts: 741 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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8/21/2005 at 13:11 |
Nor is the rest of the Western world.
As always, the barbarians will win in the end and the Dark Ages will return. But it is doubtful that the world will ever return to the light.
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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dagwood
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 355 Registered: 12/19/2004 Offline
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8/21/2005 at 14:50 |
Extremely well-written, informative, and disturbing article. So what do we do about it now? Assuming this is real, and I believe it is entirely plausible how can I protect myself from getting fucked in the transition. Or is there no hope, are we all in the same boat with the same lifestyles and threats to that lifestyle? Should I make plans today to be the leader of an agrarian commune? Hell, I start school tomorrow for a Graphic Design degree, how utterly impractical that will be.
It is somewhat reassuring to know that I've got 200 acres of prime AR timber that was the farm my daddy grew up on in my future. I hold out hope that alternative energy sources will be utilized more quickly than the current energy lobbyists would llike to see. Is solar just not that viable? I always thought the only real obstacle to develping cheap solar power was the unreasonable hold that the oil companies had on maintaining our present means.
Well, thanks Beachgoat , I am at least better informed than I previously have been. It does seem very likely that ignorance, misinformation and denial will prevail, with undoubtedly disastrous consequences.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. |
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1517 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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8/21/2005 at 15:41 |
The survivors will have to cultivate a religion of hope -- that is, a deep and comprehensive belief that humanity is worth carrying on.
They will not because it is not. Any species that allows itself to fall into such a mess while also contributing to it AND ignoring at the same time is not worth extending.
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HAMFIGHTER> He shrugged, and started finishing himself off, on my breasts, while I was crying. |
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sahlgoode
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 254 Registered: 7/6/2005 Offline
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8/21/2005 at 15:49 |
Wow!!!
If that doesn't scare the pants off you, nothing will
There were no surprises there though.I live in Alberta. The only Canadian provence rich enough to be it's own country. All on an oil based economy. I don't work in the oil industry, but I ceratinly reap the benifits of it. I don't however, drive a car. I use a bike, and when the winter gets tough, I use the bus. It is Edmonton, so I find it relitively easy to go without AC.
At work, and in my social life, I'm surrounded by people that don't know what it's like to do without their cars, and AC. The excess in our daily lives makes the forest that much harder to see. It comes into focus for me when I have to bio-clean a house where the senior was afraid to turn on the heat
People are dying now, because of oil prices. The above article is not a prediction, so much as it is a statement of fact. I raise my glass to James Howard Kunstler & to BeachGoat for the truth that we are all afriad to see.
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mcgarpat
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 413 Registered: 7/10/2005 Offline
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8/21/2005 at 18:49 |
I read a scientific journal recently that had an interesting spin on the oils reserves. I'll try to find the link again, but it went along the lines of the oil fileds were not created by biological decay as we were taught in school. It is actually a natural process, most likely driven by bacteria processing materials from the mantle and creating oil as a byproduct of the process. It turns out, that oil wells once thought depleted were now replenishing themselves. It also stated the the rate of replenishment was no where near enough. So, in coupla hundred thousand years, we should be fat with oil again.
It is time for the US to take a cue from europe, we waste way too much of our resources and are not cognizant of the damage we are causing. Several cultures have vanished from the earth from Easter Island and the Aztecs due to this behaviour. If we do not do something about this, we are next. A technical society is the easiest to destroy as we are further from self reliance at a basic level.
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acheron
Cynical_Malcontent  SSHOLEPosts: 556 Registered: 4/29/2004 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 04:07 |
Amazing article. Thanks BG
I'm not sure about some of his conclusions,though, especially regarding bio-diesel and this: "substantial levels of violence as the grievances of the formerly middle class boil over and collide with the delusions of Pentecostal Christian extremism." Parts of this seem like pure speculation to me, I would have to get the book to really know.
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1896 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 07:38 |
I used cry a little pity party every time I had to run errands on the bus or on my bike when I was wishing I had four wheels instead of two...but not any longer. The price of gas just went up to 2.59 a gal, which would on average take the cost of gas for one month to over $200. I am sure many of you out there are already well aware of this very painful fact. So yeah, I ride the bus back and forth and so does a whole lot of other people these days.
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LOki
Refusenik  SSHOLEPosts: 483 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 08:42 |
Petroleum replaced whale oil when whale oil got to be too expensive to use for all whatnot, and the same will be true for petroleum; we'll just use something else--provided we will be allowed to.
And that something else will be an imporivement over petroleum, on all accounts, as petroleum was an improvement over whale oil.
What will that new energy source be?
I don't know yet, but I hope it's apocalyptic, chicken little, faggot oil.
[Edited on 22/8/2005 by LOki]
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum SSHOLEPosts: 639 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 08:55  |
LOki - Excellent |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum SSHOLEPosts: 639 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 08:59 |
Sorry for double post. Couldn't edit.
I meant, Excellent sig.
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acheron
Cynical_Malcontent SSHOLEPosts: 556 Registered: 4/29/2004 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 17:42 |
Whale oil was never used on even a fraction of the amount that oil/natural gas sources have been used. Even if there was some magic replacement to petroleum its not going to be ready before massive oil spikes and limited production threaten major halting of industrial activity. The only thing that looks like a suitable replacement right now is something along the lines of bio-diesil-don't know if thats a going to work or not.
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I'm an INTJ. This explains why I'm alternating between silence and judging you. |
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cOLD
Tender vittles  Posts: 1 Registered: 8/22/2005 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 18:04 |
I live in south texas and I am afraid for the break down that is going to come when all these yahoo's can't drive their 1 ton/ V8/ 8 mile to the gallon/ land yachts....there's a lot of guns down here....but after spending years getting run off the road on my bicycle by trucks, cut off and nearly hit on my motorcycles by trucks, and now every day nearly crunched into a little ball in my civic hatch by trucks....I can't wait until these resource hogs can't afford to put another 100$ in the hummer to make it another week....
It's just a shame that our society has built itself to a level where advertising your excesses is the only thing that matters...
On the other hand, I can't live without my AC! It's fucking 108 degrees right now...  |
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Heather
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 603 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 19:36 |
We Texans shower hugs on our two story pickup trucks draped in the confederate flag and thank the lord and savior jaysus crahst that we don’t have to pay for heating oil in the winter like them damn Yankees. |
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fastlane
Zombie scream style  SSHOLEPosts: 649 Registered: 2/7/2004 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 19:45 |
Heather: We Texans shower hugs on our two story pickup trucks draped in the confederate flag and thank the lord and savior jaysus crahst that we don’t have to pay for heating oil in the winter like them damn Yankees.
el................0......................................el
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dagwood
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 355 Registered: 12/19/2004 Offline
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8/22/2005 at 20:33 |
Heather: We Texans shower hugs on our two story pickup trucks draped in the confederate flag and thank the lord and savior jaysus crahst that we don’t have to pay for heating oil in the winter like them damn Yankees.
Hahahaha- Please go to the bottom of the page, thank you, that's it
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lonelyastronaut
Tender vittles  Posts: 23 Registered: 8/18/2005 Offline
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8/23/2005 at 14:10 |
animals don't use technologies as we do and they do just fine.
they live in harmony with the surrounding environment keeping perfect balance without even trying.
maybe it's because of that opposable thumb theory but either way the animals will rule the world sooner or later just like in twelve monkeys with kick ass bruce willisky attempting to save the day...
it all comes down to money comrads... just like the fact that it cost's too much to get my ass back down to terra firma... but not as much as sending new monkeys into space..
blame the 'manski'.... he's the one shoving tornados, earthquakes, blitz floodings/tidal waves and anything else muther nature can throw at us, up our kazinski's.
change will come.. it's whether we change first or have it changed for us...
it is inevitable... much like running out of vodka.
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Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power and I have both and you know it... |
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freakmachine
Web Fucko Extraordinaire  SSHOLEPosts: 588 Registered: 4/15/2004 Offline
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8/23/2005 at 16:36 |
As long as there is food availible I will always have gas. |
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DonQuixote
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 641 Registered: 4/22/2005 Offline
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8/23/2005 at 17:00 |
Please see the Urine Battery article. Soon we will all be peeing in our electrical cars to get to "Da Club". Coffee and other urinary stimulants will be at a premium.
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( . )( . ) <--- Boobs. |
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lonelyastronaut
Tender vittles Posts: 23 Registered: 8/18/2005 Offline
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8/24/2005 at 07:41 |
hehe, my peee peee keeps the environmental lab on the MIA legostation going... you should see the size of my prize cabbages comrad.
it's also worth noting that my uncle borris used to run his russki tractorr on nothing but the vapours from a pig's brown anal art package.
just like in the mad max return to thunderydominsky film... (it's also worth noting herre comrads that us russki's get all our ideas from american blockbusters and i've only just finished watching team america... genius like russki chess master aleksander morozevich)
maybe it's the vodka talking... but could becoming a pig farrmerr be the next big money making piss and skat taking extrravaganza?
after all they're food as well....
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Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power and I have both and you know it... |
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lonelyastronaut
Tender vittles Posts: 23 Registered: 8/18/2005 Offline
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8/24/2005 at 07:44 |
i would willingly crap in my spacesuit comrads for a bacon sandwichski right about now....
[Edited on 24/8/2005 by lonelyastronaut]
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Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power and I have both and you know it... |
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shitbox
my balls your chin, get used to that idea  SSHOLEPosts: 918 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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10/2/2005 at 00:13 |
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"Kill him! Kill the fuckin' indian! What am I watching here two fuckin' fags!?"
Rodney Dangerfield as Ed Wilson
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sahlgoode
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 254 Registered: 7/6/2005 Offline
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10/2/2005 at 00:34 |
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Closed indefinitely in accordance with the Digital Milennium Copyright Act (DMCA) of 1998 |
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I finally discovered Kirk's secret weapon in all of this. You have to 'circumvent' the logic, then it all makes perfect sense. -- wrecker
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