vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth   SSHOLE |
Posts: 4413 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 12:29 |
Heather asked but it got derailed, so let's start anew.
I think this may count as my first date(s).
Huntsville, Alabama. My mom is going to nursing school during the day and working waitress shifts at the Fog Cutter at night. Single mom trying to get ahead, going for a degree in medicine, working her ass off.
She has a study buddy.
The study buddy has a daughter my age. (Around 5 or 6, I'd guess.)
WIN.
With both our scientifically-open and information-valuing parents safely locked up in the kitchen, totally focussed on learning practical medicine, we have nothing to do with our hours and hours of spare time every Thursday night except experiment with our bodies.
This is pioneering work, advancing the frontiers of our knowledge of the other gender's bodies.
We had pillows laid out like a harem and the run of the non-kitchen house.
"Put your stethoscope in here."
"Why does it get big like that?"
"Let's me pee on your poop and flush it and see what happens."
"I bet my nuts can perfectly cover up your eye."
I don't remember that little girl's name, but I'd like to thank her, and I'll bet today she's a really decent lay.
Thank you, nameless, enthusiastic, curious little girl from decades ago.
Thank you.
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile.
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qwerty
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 628 Registered: 9/8/2004 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 12:46 |
I played stickey fingers with my first date.
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2421 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 14:20 |
i was 15, and she was a huge breasted, stupid hillbilly girl who never spelled my name right(true). we went to the lake for swimming, when we went back to my house she asked me if i wanted to 'see them'. she took off her shirt, and i saw em. then she tried to give me head, but she had the pencil sharpner action going, so i made her stop. then i fucked her.
perfect.
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Dude, Opera is totally fag and he's fucking your ex. ~ Wotak |
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Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 14:35 |
^^ -- Your lies are entertaining.
First date: It was some gay detective movie. I was 15/16 -- somewhere in there. She was hot, I didn't get any. Some time later, she got fat and I stopped talking to her. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2421 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 14:56 |
ain't no lie, homie. i got some on my first date.
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Dude, Opera is totally fag and he's fucking your ex. ~ Wotak |
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DonQuixote
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 641 Registered: 4/22/2005 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 16:06 |
k this is hard cause vas used something that wasn't really a date
in kindergarten me and this little negro girl used to touch eachother under the table
First stinky fingers experience
later on real date
12 yrs old
movie = Waynes World
parents dropped us off
we french kissed
there was lots of drool
thats all
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( . )( . ) <--- Boobs. |
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metatron
Fighting The Good Fight ™  SSHOLEPosts: 469 Registered: 4/12/2002 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 19:14 |
My first "date" was with a girl I met while attending 6th grade. I found out she went to my grandmother's church, so I strategically started begging my parents to let me go to curch with granny. Once I located my prey, we proceeded to watch the sermon from the condemned balcony in the sanctuary. We held hands and kissed.
We broke up and got back together numerous times, and finally, we dated briefly in high school. I took her to a movie for our first "real" date. Having heard earlier in the day that she'd been givin it up to some guy 10 years older than us, I hoped to score. When I went to pick her up, I immediately began having "WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF AIDS" panic attack and basically ruled out hittin' it.
She did let me feel her boobies up during the movie though. So that was cool. I took her home after the movie, but not before telling her that it wasn't going to work out.
The creepiest thing about the whole experience was her name. In my life, I've dated five girls with that name. To me it is cursed.
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"it's water out of your body" - vasudeva |
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Gothmog
busy lil bee bzz bzz bzz!  SSHOLEPosts: 198 Registered: 12/12/2003 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 20:30 |
^^ It's a wonder you ever got laid at all, meta. My first date was with your mom. Congrats, son, I'm your papa.
So my first date I was 15, and brought some 14 year old girl back to my house. We drank soda, watched MTV videos I had taped, and made out for awhile. How wonderfully PG.
[Edited on 28/7/2005 by Gothmog]
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"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4413 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 20:30 |
Meta, I find it awesome you did this in a church.
metatron: She did let me feel her boobies up during the movie though. So that was cool.
You were 23. /me wipes tear of nostalgia.
[Edited on 7/28/2005 by vasudeva]
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mundhra: And its crocobody is made of dile. |
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Wotak
You + Fava Beans = Yum  SSHOLEPosts: 639 Registered: 5/27/2005 Offline
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7/28/2005 at 21:10 |
My first date was a secret one. I was about 13 or 14 and my girlfriend and I worked out a plan to hook up on the QT.
She lived about 30 miles away, but her best friend lived about a mile away... and her best friends Mom was a drunk. So she planned to spend the night there and have me over under the cover of darkness, heh.
I snuck out my window after the family went to sleep and hauled ass over to see her. I even had a rubber because I KNEW I was gettin' some...
Inexperience fucked up the whole night. It was an unlubricated rubber and she was a virgin. I licked like a mad puppy but there was no getting her wet enough for that dry assed rubber. We tried a few times but finally all the petting did us both in.
I'll never forget that night, even if we did screw it up.
When I was 17 she was one fine lay... but she was 5 inches taller than me... and the girls basketball team captian... I'm 5' 10". I didn't think dating a tall chick was cool.
I hadda break that one off. She was givin' me a Napolean complex.
Anyway, that chick was awesome.
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"silly linux users. sharts for you" --hobo |
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dagwood
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 352 Registered: 12/19/2004 Offline
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7/29/2005 at 04:38 |
Ghost rider finally admitted his pencil-dick status.
SFW-I like the avatar- it invites curiosity cause you can't quite make out the type, one o those you gotta know things.
I was 16 and a buddy had scored some beer, ended up at the house of some chick he knew with a friend he wanted me to meet. We got them drunk on CO 3.2 quick and paired off. Got some good groping, poking,fondling and slobbering in on the trampoline before she started puking. Tried to wash that down and continue but she was too sick and it was too nasty. Never saw her again, desperation breeds contempt. Started dating a girl from school a couple months later and I've had an official "girlfriend" almost continually ever since.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. |
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IMBOLCPunxsutawneyPhil
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 244 Registered: 3/17/2005 Offline
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7/29/2005 at 04:51 |
My hand.
or was it some lady in a dream?
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If you include a null character |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1896 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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7/29/2005 at 05:28 |
First date? I can not recall yesterday much less what I did over 30 years ago. I guess I would have been about 15 or 16 since I had been a homely dawg in my preteen years.
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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Uart
DARTH MENSES Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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7/29/2005 at 05:33 |
Dumbskull: I guess I would have been about 15 or 16 since I had been a homely dawg in my preteen years.
I guess things tend to come full-circle eh? |
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 908 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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7/29/2005 at 07:38 |
I had many experiences as vas described.
Except I was 5 and she was 4.
[Edited on 29/7/2005 by government_death_robot]
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bwned. |
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Lefen
I think Clavis wins my heart <3  SSHOLEPosts: 896 Registered: 9/16/2003 Offline
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7/29/2005 at 14:43 |
I was about 11 and had been going out with this girl called Eleanor for a few weeks at school. You know when you have a group of girls and one of them is always the shy, quiet one whom the others guard like terriers? Eleanor was one of those which ment I'd spend all my break-times with her and her harpy-like friends trying to work up the courage to hold her hand and try and make conversation (I can't stand shy girls even to this day) -- its a pretty tragic memory actaully so laugh it up.
I'd had my first kiss by then and Lefencok had it's beady eye fixed firmly on the prize. I had this cunning plan that I'd finally be able to get her away from her awful friends and GET SOME ACTION (whatever that means to an 11-year-old :/) if we went on a date.
Lefencok was pretty sure that the back row of the local cinema would be the best place to take her, and so it was arranged.
I endured almost a week of quips and questions and giggling from her fuking friends before the big day finally came. My little hart lept for joy when I saw her mum's car pull up on the pavement next to me, only to have it fall tragically back into my shoes when I saw not ony her, but the worst two of her harpyfriends get out of the car with her. No explanation was given, but suffice it to say that I spent the next two hours being ignored and feeling like a prize prick.
Lefen dumped Eleanor pretty soon afterwards, but this only seemed to make her more interested, and against my better judgement Lefencok agreed to go out with her again and we lasted about another 2 months I'd guess. I never got anything more than a kiss and I learnt a lot about what I didn't want from my next girlfriend (or her friends).
:'(
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BeachGoat
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 431 Registered: 10/31/2003 Offline
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7/29/2005 at 21:40 |
When I was in third grade my babysitter fed me acid and taught me to eat pussy. After that it was years before I had a girlfriend.
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LilBabyPissmouth
AssQueen  SSHOLEPosts: 164 Registered: 7/10/2003 Offline
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7/30/2005 at 00:02 |
When I was 15, I worked at a grocery store. There was a very cute guy that came in nearly everyday, and he always came to my checkout lane. We would hold eye contact until he actually walked up to my register; he would say hi, and we'd both look to the floor or anywhere else. I would finish ringing up his candy, gum, can of coke, etc., and he would look up, smile, then say bye. That was it. For months. (What can I say...I was really shy back then.)
One day he came to my line and seemed very nervous--red in the face. As I'm handing him his change he blurts out, "Would you like to go see a movie?" Before he even finishes his sentence, I blurt out, "Of course!" We both laughed and firmed up the details.
My mom and sister took me to pick him up at his house (we had a community car at the time and they needed it--so mom said) and dropped us off at the mall.
I remember him opening doors for me and holding my hand; we barely spoke. I don't remember the movie at all because I was so nervous that he would kiss me and also desperately wanted him to (you know, butterflies and such).
I did all the tricks in the short time before the movie and after (waiting for my mom to pick us up): leaned in close when he spoke, wide-eyed looking into his so he knew he had my full attention, lazy circles on his hand with mine...and NOTHING.
Finally my mom showed up; he was friendly and polite on the ride home (still holding my hand). We dropped him off and I never heard nor saw him again (Well, until a few years later at a show, and it was the same weird stare thing with no words). He never came back to the store...at least as long as I worked there.
That was my first and only date, in the traditional sense.
It was totally gay. Sweet guy, though.
After that, it was all just suck and fuck, in the traditional whore sense.
Wh000 h000 WINNAR
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class doesn't matter, I thought,
nothing matters that we're told,
and if I am a fly I will never know
what a lion really is. |
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DonQuixote
DARTH MENSES Posts: 641 Registered: 4/22/2005 Offline
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7/30/2005 at 00:09 |
government_death_robot: I had many experiences as vas described.
Except I was 5 and she was 4.
[Edited on 29/7/2005 by government_death_robot]
Shit and here I slways thought you were a girl. Its the bunny. I knew this crazy bitch with a bunny. She ritualistically killed it to rename herself. Weird fucking bitch. She's still in my theater co. Hasn't benn around for the past few meetings.
Oh and dates -
Second date - I was living over seas. I was thirteen (long story) short version. Parents weren't home. I made enchiladas. My dog at the time ate half of them right off the table before the girl even came over. I was pissed off to say the least. I made food!! Anyways we didn't fuck so that was a lesson learned.
http://www.blowmeuptom.com/
[Edited on 30/7/2005 by sofickingwat]
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( . )( . ) <--- Boobs. |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1896 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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7/30/2005 at 04:06 |
Is it me or is anyone else having a hard time believing SFW is into real females?
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die  SSHOLEPosts: 741 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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7/30/2005 at 06:17 |
Dumbskull: Is it me or is anyone else having a hard time believing SFW is into real females?
It is like he has undergone a complete metamorphosis during the week he was text-warred. The posts since about the middle of last week seem to be from a totally different person. Maybe the original one pissed off and gave or sold his alpha account to someone else.
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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shellspeare
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 79 Registered: 7/31/2005 Offline
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7/31/2005 at 15:22 |
My first date- new years eve 1980 something. I was taken to the local park to watch the fireworks over the rooftops - romantic huh?
After several messy tongue swapping exchanges he dropped his trousers to show off his 'pocket rocket' <---- his words not mine.
Now i was kinda expecting something a little more manly than a thumb-wide stubby looking tortoise head retracting into it's shell so i ran off to a friends house where her parents were having a party and smoked my first joint and drank pernod until i threw up in a frenzy of ol'langs ayne and dirty old men wanting a new years kiss.
All in all it was a good evening  |
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