vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth   SSHOLE |
Posts: 4618 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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7/13/2005 at 14:48 |
Sucked assloads. I downloaded a screen rip, which I've realized is not the proper way to enjoy any film, but even so, I give it 1.5 out of 5 stars. And, no, Jessica Alba being hot does not count for any stars. That's what porn and Maxim are for. It wasn't quite Catwoman bad; Catwoman made me snort derisively more.
I'd like to think of anything nice to say about the film, but literally cannot think of anything at the moment. If you're in the mood for a mindless action flick, it'll probably suit you fine, and therein lies the only quality I could detect.
It's a shame the Ben Grimm guy got suckered into this, cause I'm sure he can do much better. The rest of them belong on shitty TV series, except Alba, whose last shitty TV series should have been her last.
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freakmachine
Web Fucko Extraordinaire  SSHOLEPosts: 596 Registered: 4/15/2004 Offline
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7/13/2005 at 17:51 |
You write the best reviews ever. However, you forgot to mention that if one wishes to snort derisively for whatever reason, this could be one's movie of choice.
From the previews*, I am not to hopeful, for higher expectations make the dissapointment all the more bitter. So now the conundrum: to see it or not to see it.
* In a bar, surrounded by Hot Babes, the flame guy says "I need drinks , and names" or something like that, and they all Giggle Excitedly much like jr high school girls. He isn't called "Torch" for nothing. |
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vladtweano
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 517 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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7/13/2005 at 18:22 |
fantastic fmeh. i was holding out zero hope for this anyway. with the exception of the spider-man movies, every marvel comics movie i've seen has been fair (x-men/blade) to fecal (daredevil/punisher/elektra/hulk/bladeX/howard the duck).
comic book movies in general just don't seem to have a good track record. i'd say spider-man 1/2, hellboy and the first tim burton batman are my favorites, but i haven't yet seen sin city, road to perdition or batman begins.
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Gothmog
busy lil bee bzz bzz bzz!  SSHOLEPosts: 214 Registered: 12/12/2003 Offline
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7/13/2005 at 20:08 |
Haha, you haven't seen the arguably three best comic book conversion movies yet? Shame on you, Vlad.
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4618 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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7/13/2005 at 20:12 |
freakmachine: * In a bar, surrounded by Hot Babes, the flame guy says "I need drinks , and names" or something like that, and they all Giggle Excitedly much like jr high school girls. He isn't called "Torch" for nothing.
You've seen all the funny bits, then. Not that the funny bits were funny -- they weren't -- but they at least elicited some pure reaction in me (shame, for the audience I could hear laughing on cue to either side of the camera creep).
vladtweano: howard the duck
How can you hate Howard the Duck? It has Lea Thompson (lol), Jeffrey Molesterface, and its own title track. Plus ducks and outerspace slimy tongue-things. And in the end, Thompson gets all sexy with the duck.
sin city, perdition or batman begins.
Sin City whatever. Batman Begins was very very good.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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vladtweano
DARTH MENSES Posts: 517 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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7/13/2005 at 20:21 |
Gothmog: Shame on you, Vlad.
what, MORE?
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"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others."
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freakmachine
Web Fucko Extraordinaire SSHOLEPosts: 596 Registered: 4/15/2004 Offline
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7/13/2005 at 20:52 |
vasudeva: freakmachine: * In a bar, surrounded by Hot Babes, the flame guy says "I need drinks , and names" or something like that, and they all Giggle Excitedly much like jr high school girls. He isn't called "Torch" for nothing.
You've seen all the funny bits, then. Not that the funny bits were funny -- they weren't -- but they at least elicited some pure reaction in me (shame, for the audience I could hear laughing on cue to either side of the camera creep).
I haven't decided wether witnessing pavlovian emotional responses to the blatant manipulation in some movies amuses me or makes me carp sad for humanity. I have heard people laugh at those netflix commercials. Serioulsy.
edit: I have heard people laugh at those FANDANGO commercials. Serioulsy.
Fucking typo.
[Edited on 20/7/2005 by freakmachine] |
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Steel
If you want to keep your tongue, don't lick me in the Winter!  SSHOLEPosts: 518 Registered: 10/14/2004 Offline
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7/14/2005 at 03:10 |
Well I loved X-Men and DareDevil.... I have been really excited about FF, I'm still going to go.... But I feel sad! |
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acheron
Cynical_Malcontent  SSHOLEPosts: 567 Registered: 4/29/2004 Offline
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7/14/2005 at 03:20 |
vladtweano: fantastic fmeh. i was holding out zero hope for this anyway. with the exception of the spider-man movies, every marvel comics movie i've seen has been fair (x-men/blade) to fecal (daredevil/punisher/elektra/hulk/bladeX/howard the duck).
comic book movies in general just don't seem to have a good track record. i'd say spider-man 1/2, hellboy and the first tim burton batman are my favorites, but i haven't yet seen sin city, road to perdition or batman begins.
I really enjoyed #2 of both X-Men and Spiderman. Daredevil, punisher, catwoman, etc all blew vastly from what I heard/read and I didn't expect better of the Fantastic 4. I really enjoyed #2 of both X-Men and Spiderman and give credit to both series (if two makes a series) for at least getting the spirit of the comics reasonably accurate.
The wonderfulness that is comic-books should not be expected to be transferable to film, especially comics like FF4 -imagine Galactus on the big screen or other characters on screen. (nice hat buddy!)
Sin City captured the ridiculous wonderfulness of comic books greatly, but it was in a more film noir style. I don't expect the comics that I truly love will ever turn out well on screen. (silver surfer, punisher, spidey, dr.strange/infinity watch etc.)
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