vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth   SSHOLE |
Posts: 4618 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 13:27 |
Boring.
If you liked the first two abortions, you'll probably like this one too, since it's more of the same.
Highlights: The most boring intro to any movie with spaceships and robots ever. I have no idea how they managed to make that so uninteresting.
Clumsy attempts at character development: Palpatine spends 60 seconds tempting Anakin to the dark side, Anakin says O.K., and rushes off to kill a boatload of children. Literally. This whole "arc" takes about 5 minutes of screen time, at the end of which, Chancellor Palpatine and Anakin Skywalker have been dutifuly morphed into the Emperor and Darth Vader combo we all know from episodes 4 onward. [Vader gets his costume like 30 minutes later.] This is the part that punctured my happy little suspension-of-disbelief bubble, and I started wondering how much of the movie I still had to sit through. Looking around the theater, I saw the cheery sight of cellphone backlights telling their owners how much more of the movie they had to sit through, too.
Padme screaming "YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART." This one still cracks me up.
Chewbacca makes a pointless and obligatory appearance. They give more beauty-shot screen time to jar-jar.
Anakin-cum-Vader, upon being fully Vaderized for all of 20 seconds, is told by Palpatine that Padme is dead. He pops out of his restraints, lurches across the set just like any B-movie Frankenstein, hits the edge of the platform, and bellows NOOOOO while the camera zooms out. This scene feels like one of those over-the-top high-drama commercials that sell co-branded products using re-tooled footage from summer blockbusters, like any minute Vader's going to bust out moonwalking like Michael Jackson and then chug a Pepsi, prominently displaying the $1-off Star Wars movie ticket attached to Pepsi bottles in stores now.
I like Ewan McGregor, and I don't blame him for not being as riveting as Alec Guinness -- because he's not Alec Guinness. Unfortunately, I spent way too much time watching his beard.
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1546 Registered: 10/28/2007 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 13:31 |
meh. I started out wanting to see this movie really bad, but the more I read about it, the more hate grows in my heart for it. It doesn't help that the first two were so bland.
I can't wait for "Batman Begins", though.
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mineralGod
SIR BABYHEAD  Posts: 87 Registered: 11/27/2003 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 13:38 |
Batman looks promising!!
Like I said on the other thread, the climax to the battle pissed me.
Anakin and Obi have this long drawn out flashy / video game like battle, only to have it ended by Anakin basically jumping onto Obi's ligthsaber.
Sure there were lots of lightsabers flying, but while watching, I just didn't really care what happened. There was no drama or pacing to any of the fights. I think the duel between Mace and the Emperor was probably the best in the movie.
Scenes and actions just happen, without any pause for ramification. Bring in robot general and give him 4 lightsabers so Obi-Wan can have somebody else to fight. Meh
Darth Vader as Frankenstein was a kick in the choda : Nooooooo!
Lucas has succeeded in rendering out the soul of the 'franchise'.
Almost a total mind fuck.
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4618 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 13:55 |
mineralGod: Anakin and Obi have this long drawn out flashy / video game like battle, only to have it ended by Anakin basically jumping onto Obi's ligthsaber.
Yep.
Sure there were lots of lightsabers flying, but while watching, I just didn't really care what happened. There was no drama or pacing to any of the fights.
Yep.
Scenes and actions just happen, without any pause for ramification. Bring in robot general and give him 4 lightsabers so Obi-Wan can have somebody else to fight. Meh.
Yep.
The only fight scene I remember with any shred of fondness is Yoda vs. Palpatine, and I think that's just because of the visual perspective they filmed it with.
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard  SSHOLEPosts: 1690 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 14:05 |
vas: next time don't question my (unasked for) advice, bitch.
i'm going to have a hard time forcing myself to download this eventually... but i've come this far, so why not.
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4618 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 14:51 |
mundhra: vas: next time don't question my (unasked for) advice, bitch.
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Sachsenpaule
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 167 Registered: 11/16/2003 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 15:18 |
One of the best examples that creativity often results in bullshit. (i hope that all the haha-funny scenes are the result of of the 3d animators, i shiver when i imagine george lucas sleeping in his bed, waking up saying "yeah thats it, wouldnt it be funny if r2d2 electrocutes this robot and the robot is saying "ouch", just for example, and this was one of the better scenes already)
I dont know what scared me more, the b-movie like dialogues ("hello chancellor, or should i say.....darth SIDIOUS" SHOCK, omgwtf), or the fact that the audience really liked this cretinism.
However, i concentrated on the story, wanted to find the point where darth vader begins to exist.
There are some good sentences in it, also some symbolic pictures like when darth sidious throws around the seats of the senate.
There are also some parallels to the current political situation (nazi references of course)
THIS is ok, but this kind of stuff (for the masses) dont make a good movie, nor do 2 simultaneous running battles.
Star-was.
It was Star-Wars, yeah, it connected the new movies with the old ones. The story was good and adventurous, but boring.
To hit the nail on the head:
I didnt feel the force.
At least not the good side.
As the movie were over i thought of George Lucas as Darth Sidious laying on the ground, shooting bolts in my eye and telling me shit.
In fact, he did.
[Edited on 20/5/2005 by Sachsenpaule]
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Steel
If you want to keep your tongue, don't lick me in the Winter!  SSHOLEPosts: 518 Registered: 10/14/2004 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 15:32 |
R2 Burning the droids RAWKED in my opinion! |
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Sachsenpaule
SENATOR BABYHEAD Posts: 167 Registered: 11/16/2003 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 15:37 |
Yes, i meant the scene where they were standing on the bridge, face to face with general grievous.
As i said, this was already one of the better scenes, i repressed the other ones, leaving it to a good alienist to churn them up 
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I used to be an atheist, until I realized I had nothing to shout during blowjobs. "Oh Random Chance! Oh Random Chance!" just doesn't cut it….
Robert Anton Wilson, 1932 - 2007
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4618 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 15:46 |
Sachsenpaule: Yes, i meant the scene where they were standing on the bridge, face to face with general grievous.
As i said, this was already one of the better scenes, i repressed the other ones, leaving it to a good alienist to churn them up
+100pts for awesome archaic terminology.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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ragoo
We are not amused.  SSHOLEPosts: 686 Registered: 9/4/2004 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 17:58 |
It was a disappointment, and I'm sorry that it was. Maybe my expectations were too high--maybe there was no way GL could neatly tie up all the loose ends and make a seemless transition to Ep. IV. There was no AH-HA! moment when some riddle from an earlier movie suddenly made sense.
I don't want to rant, but eh, what the hell. Things that sucked:
1. Ghey battle droids and their ghey voices. They've never proven to be a challenge for the Jedi, so why dumb them down even further by making them talk like like queer cylons?
2. Obi-wan riding a big ol' lizard. Why, and what was that goddamn stupid sound the thing was making?
3. CGI r2d2. I like my R2 rolling along on wheels, not jumpin around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.
4. Frankenvader. An odd time to pay homage to a movie that has no connection to the Star Wars universe. James Earl Jones was used. Poorly.
5. CGI everywhere. And it was really obvious for some reason. I mean I was really underwhelmed by the sophistication of the effects. Some of the animation (in particular the aforementioned R2D2 stuff) was rendered cheaply and clumsily.
6. Lava surfing. Again, visually, it was rendered poorly. And don't Jedi succumb to heat and vapors just like the rest of us?
7. Mace Windu. Undignified death for a Jedi who was supposedly one of the most powerful. And while I'm goin on here, what's up with the Jedi anyway---since when did they start all this shit-talkin' to people? Obi-Wan: "Oh don't worry, I won't destroy the ENTIRE droid army before you arrive." That's not the wise-and-gentle-yet-deadly image Alec Guiness created.
Thing's that didn't suck so much:
The interior of the Tantive IV, Senator Organa's ship, and the one on which Princess Leia will be captured in Ep. 4. It was nice to see an honest to goodness SET for once, not a CGI background. That brought back fond memories.
Eh, that's about all I can think of. This flick was remarkable for being utterly unremarkable. Nothing was really special. It was just a movie, and I'm disappointed because it should have been more.
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nocal
It's insane, this guy's taint  SSHOLEPosts: 833 Registered: 8/25/2004 Offline
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5/20/2005 at 18:43 |
5. CGI everywhere. And it was really obvious for some reason. I mean I was really underwhelmed by the sophistication of the effects. Some of the animation (in particular the aforementioned R2D2 stuff) was rendered cheaply and clumsily.
I can't agree more (even though I haven't seen this movie specifically). Watch classic movies with complex models, even the first Star Wars. It looks BETTER in most cases than does the CGI. It seems like the easy way out in so many cases when you can watch a movie like Metropolis and realize that they did the whole fukking thing with turn of the century camera tricks and models. And it STILL looks more convincing than the on-screen video game shitfest that most movies have become. |
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IMBOLCPunxsutawneyPhil
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 244 Registered: 3/17/2005 Offline
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5/21/2005 at 16:31 |
I decided that I am not gonna watch it until later, in the last week or so of the release in the digital theatre in town....
Not worth the dehumanization of waiting in line with a bunch of cock-knockers who wear costumes and worship this shit because they have no better teat to latch onto.
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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache  SSHOLEPosts: 1691 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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5/21/2005 at 18:03 |
Sucks, this movie does.
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acheron
Cynical_Malcontent  SSHOLEPosts: 567 Registered: 4/29/2004 Offline
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5/21/2005 at 20:02 |
I think I'm not going to see it. Didn't see Episode II either. Don't think I'm missing much.
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ragoo
We are not amused. SSHOLEPosts: 686 Registered: 9/4/2004 Offline
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5/22/2005 at 00:55 |
Actually, it's better on the second viewing. Much better in fact.
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Mofo
dont give a shit  SSHOLEPosts: 442 Registered: 2/8/2004 Offline
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5/22/2005 at 05:59 |
YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!!!111ONEONEone
Seriously, that line right there throws me off the movie. |
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Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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5/22/2005 at 16:20 |
Anakin = way too dumb.
That was my impression of the movie. Also, since everyone knew the ending, you think they'd have made the middle more interesting. |
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tantrum
I'm a big boy now!  SSHOLEPosts: 484 Registered: 11/23/2003 Offline
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5/22/2005 at 18:37 |
I agree wholeheartedly with everything that's been reported here.
The whole Padme resolution was a disaster. In the first two, she's like She-President of Amadala Land or whatever; she's brave, tough, and wise, right? Then in this one she gets knocked-up and becomes a helpless prop to Anakin's misguided retardedness. She basically gives up the will to live and dies of a broken heart....lame.
A much more affecting and fitting resolution would have been if the twin were actually born and THEN she went to confront Anakin about his drift to the dark side and he killed her.
Another problem I had was how all the Jedi were so easily off'd.
Fucking shot in the back by Stormtroopers?!?STRAIGHT MOTHERFUKING JAR-JARish.
I could go on.
don't go. they ruined it. |
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Uart
DARTH MENSES Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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5/22/2005 at 20:54 |
tantrum: Another problem I had was how all the Jedi were so easily off'd.
Fucking shot in the back by Stormtroopers?!?STRAIGHT MOTHERFUKING JAR-JARish.
Yeah, but most of those Jedi were teh sux0rz |
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tantrum
I'm a big boy now! SSHOLEPosts: 484 Registered: 11/23/2003 Offline
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5/22/2005 at 22:40  |
Yeah, but most of those Jedi were teh sux0rz
Not in the mind of a 11 year old kid named tantrum, who used to imagine what the Jedi Order was like in it's prime.
(disappointed geek tear rolling down cheek)
BOOOOOOO!
BOOOOOOO!
BOOOOO!
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Acidburn
I am El Chupacabra  SSHOLEPosts: 809 Registered: 8/1/2004 Offline
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5/23/2005 at 03:25 |
I'll wait for pay per view. 4 bucks to view it in my own home and invite friends who are instructed to bring booze = lots of beer for 4 bucks. And yes I am a proffesional nigger
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Lever
Tender vittles  Posts: 9 Registered: 1/8/2005 Offline
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5/24/2005 at 01:53 |
There are so many deficiencies in the movie that I don' t think I have the time right now to list them all.
The best review of this movie, and really, the entire prequel series, is this one: "Lucas' technological means now far outstrip his imagination." - Colin Covert, Minneapolis Star Tribune
I walked past a television at Best Buy today that was playing "The Empire Strikes Back". It was the scene where Han & Co. are evading the Imperials by dodging through the asteroid field. There is more acting, character, and warmth displayed by all characters on screen in the one mintue of that scene that I watched then there is in almost the entire prequel series.
What's the best I can say for "Sith"? Well, it's the best of the prequels - some faint praise, huh?
Stuff I did like - the opening battle's focus on Jedi action and (sort of) the kind of witty reparte you'd expect Luke and Han to be engaing in, for example. In my book that's not a bad thing. Even the Artoo humor was okay as that fits the tenor of the character's "personality" established in Eps 4-6. It fits like Jar Jar don't.
But, from there, I think things just rapidly go to uninteresting. I've seen the movie three times now, and I really have no desire to see it again anytime soon. It doesn't wear into your skin, getting better and more familiar with each viewing.
One interesting tidbit is that I think this is the best CG Yoda to date. I found myself at one point saying, is that a puppet, or CG of a puppet? That, in my view, is a compliment. Perhaps it is damning praise to the other actors to say that the character that expresses the most emotion in the entire film is, in fact, Yoda.
Ewan does a good job, I think, setting up Obi Wan, and having some fun. And McDiarmand does have some devlish fun, but he cannot save a dead and weak script.
George badly needed what is not required for someone of his power in Hollywood - a story editor that could challenge his soulless vision.
Lucas was often quoted during filming of the prequels as saying, "I can now realize, on screen, anything I can imagine." Well, what is forgotten in that idea is that people, even, especially, George, can imagine some pretty stupid and weak-ass shit. It takes good development, editing, and channelling of ideas to make them worthy and complelling.
Feh. Enough.
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tantrum
I'm a big boy now! SSHOLEPosts: 484 Registered: 11/23/2003 Offline
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5/24/2005 at 02:44 |
CORRECT. |
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shitbox
my balls your chin, get used to that idea  SSHOLEPosts: 979 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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5/24/2005 at 06:38 |
Havent seen it. WONT see it. Not even on video.
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shitbox
my balls your chin, get used to that idea SSHOLEPosts: 979 Registered: 1/9/2005 Offline
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11/26/2005 at 03:00 |
I finally watched this flick by accident while at my GF's grandmas house in San Diego. After skipping the Episode II purely because I felt the first one sucked so damn much, I must say, i didnt have much time to hate this one. The scenes were so short and the dialoge so brief and to the point i actually stayed awake. The light saber fighting scenes, including the lengthy fight between Obi Wan and the newly named Darth Vader, bored me to tears. I did get a nice feeling of sadness and creepiness when it was all coming to an end. Darth Vader getting his "suit" and the lame CGI yoda being sad when the force was changing was cool. It actually left me wanting to see the orginal Star Wars film. I give it a thumbs up.
Oh yeah, lamest part of the film....Darth Vader yelling "NOooooooooooo!" as the camera pulls away and the scene ends. He had just learned that his wife had died while giving birth to Luke and Leia. Exceptionally lame moment indeed.
Back to Disneyland....
K....I sawitsoshutup.
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"Kill him! Kill the fuckin' indian! What am I watching here two fuckin' fags!?"
Rodney Dangerfield as Ed Wilson
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vladtweano
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 517 Registered: 3/11/2002 Offline
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11/26/2005 at 16:28 |
I rented it. Underwhelming. I now fully support the Tarkin faction of the Empire who were just trying to do their damn jobs while the Sith and the whiny stupid Skywalkers were running around being erratic and hating sand and fuking everything up.
The extras on the dvd have some insidious hypnotic signal embedded in them that induces sleep within minutes.
Also rented War of the Worlds, which was much better, in spite of my loathing for Tom Cruise.
On 2005-11-26 at 10:28:47, vladtweano enjoyed furrysex
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2525 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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11/27/2005 at 01:12 |
vladtweano:Also rented War of the Worlds, which was much better, in spite of my loathing for Tom Cruise.
I wish you wouldn't do that, dude. Mr. Cruise is a 72nd level Space Thetan by now, which means he can control time and matter. Even thinking bad thoughts about him could, in fact, incur a wrath that would tear the fabric of space itself.
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sunny77
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 232 Registered: 11/2/2005 Offline
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11/28/2005 at 18:05 |
Let's not pull a Yoda and overstate the obvious, guys.
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bob_the_sadist
Tender vittles  Posts: 7 Registered: 2/14/2006 Offline
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2/14/2006 at 21:28 |
this movie was ruined like the other 2 because of anakins acting.
plus any seen with padame just totally sucked
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