LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache   SSHOLE |
Posts: 1622 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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3/4/2005 at 23:19  |
Dudes, I'm going to prison, got any advice on how to survive on the inside (3 yrs less day)?
**COMMENCE TAUNTIN AND PENIS IN ASS JOEKS NOW PLZ**
And when you are done, give me some survival tips.
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the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim
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Mofo
dont give a shit  SSHOLEPosts: 425 Registered: 2/8/2004 Offline
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3/4/2005 at 23:55 |
What are you getting locked up for? Which level security?
Kick someone's ass the first day. Or lay low and just befriend everyone. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4460 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 00:20 |
Cigarettes are currency. Perhaps you should quit so you don't burn all your money up.
You can make booze out of fruit cups. Takes about a month.
There's something about using shoe polish for... something.
Mustard can be used to dispel heartburn.
More as I recall. This is all hearsay, mind you.
[Edited on 3/5/2005 by vasudeva]
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 01:02 |
to light a smoke, take the graphite out of a pencil, stick a piece of it in a light socket, conducts well
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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fastlane
Zombie scream style  SSHOLEPosts: 672 Registered: 2/7/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 01:14 |
You can make your tattoo ink by burning styrofoam cups. Hold the flaming cup underneath the bottom of the top bunk then scrape this toxic residue off, mix it with water and you've got ink.
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I love the sound of silence. It gives me something else to break. |
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GAYBOB
Tender vittles  Posts: 48 Registered: 11/8/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 01:19 |
you'll sooooo LOVE it, you'll be up to your ass in new friends in no time(LOL)
really tho, you should shave your head, you'll look like a big, cute Moby(LOL), i had a 'buddy' who was in jail once, he said the food was oooky and the floor was always dirty. i hope your stay is better(LOL)
if you need a pen-pal just p.m. me, i'm always here for 'teh' swarm(LOL)
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spammin' for moby, and hopin' you'll blow me |
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 920 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 03:32 |
Try to find Morgan Freeman. This strategy worked well for Tim Robbins in "The Shawshank Redemption".
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bwned. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 04:23 |
he's a magic negro
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES Posts: 920 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 05:10 |
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bwned. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 06:30 |
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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Lumpy_McKwiz
All I know is I don't know  SSHOLEPosts: 63 Registered: 12/18/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 07:48 |
Learn to make yourself a good quality "FiFi" before going in.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40484
Imagine the coin you could make smuggling in a Fleshlight to "rent" out in the can. Can you say sloppy 47,617's?
What did you do btw?
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Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?" |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 07:59 |
he shot a man in Reno
just to watch him die
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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Lefen
I think Clavis wins my heart <3  SSHOLEPosts: 897 Registered: 9/16/2003 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 12:06 |
Join a gang
Make and sell alcohol
Make yourself a weapon
Don't get raped
Start up one of those prison blogs.
(edited to add more links, y0)
[Edited on 5/3/2005 by Lefen]
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< barfass> hey, fuck your crumpets, postman pat |
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HOBO
* b0bo has quit IRC ('Exit')  SSHOLEPosts: 1120 Registered: 3/19/2002 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 14:56 |
Embrace the white brotherhood. you might have to suck some cock but at tleast you won't get the black gang rape.
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" I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question." ~Spock~
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1901 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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3/5/2005 at 17:37 |
Well I have been working on this baby blankie but I guess you are going to need it more; the cotton threads can be used as a noose and/or rope to tie your cell mate bitch up when he doesn't feel like he is in the mood for the LK!
Getting sent up? You are SOOOO FUNNY! Did ya get caught smuggling gay democrats over the border?
[Edited on 5/3/2005 by Dumbskull]
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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azron123
I can break you with my mind. Watch, I'll do it.  SSHOLEPosts: 1505 Registered: 3/6/2003 Offline
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3/6/2005 at 00:58 |
Jesus, Kahuna. I hope this is one of your lame ass Canadian attempts at humor.
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If you give a man a fire you keep him warm for one night.
If you set him on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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3/6/2005 at 01:23 |
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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acheron
Cynical_Malcontent  SSHOLEPosts: 559 Registered: 4/29/2004 Offline
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3/6/2005 at 02:00 |
WUT?? Prison??? Explain please.
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I'm an INTJ. This explains why I'm alternating between silence and judging you. |
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ragoo
We are not amused.  SSHOLEPosts: 663 Registered: 9/4/2004 Offline
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3/6/2005 at 02:11 |
AcheronDCS: WUT?? Prison??? Explain please.
It's a big stone building with criminals inside. Jesus!
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Interjections show excitement or emotion. They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong. |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1901 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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3/6/2005 at 02:24 |
No, not everyone inside is guilty. Some where railroaded by the system others are waiting for advances in DNA and still others are there just for sex and great meals and the male companionship.
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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Acidburn
I am El Chupacabra  SSHOLEPosts: 777 Registered: 8/1/2004 Offline
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3/6/2005 at 05:25 |
I don't have any advice except this.... Remember the post about sucking dick for a million? Are you willing to do it for say...... a dinner roll?
This link may help too..........http://www.railriders.net/audazbooks/prison/
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No you can't have my rights. I'm not through with them!
You got Down Syndrome so bad you probably have up,left and right too.
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
This is Rabbit. and it kills everyday.
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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache SSHOLEPosts: 1622 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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3/6/2005 at 18:17 |
azron123: Jesus, Kahuna. I hope this is one of your lame ass Canadian attempts at humor.
I strangled a drifter to maintain an erection.
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the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim |
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Uart
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 1228 Registered: 3/5/2005 Offline
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3/7/2005 at 01:25 |
If you put soap inside your pillowcase, you can use it to hit people. ALSO, I saw this movie where what's her name (the dumb chick from that lawyer movie) made a shank from a toothbrush and some plastic wrap, I think you had to melt it a little then sharpen -- but anyway, you'll want one of those.
Also, request that your family sends you Vaseline -- because your ass is going to need it hardcore. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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3/7/2005 at 04:54 |
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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dent
Slipping it into the wrong hole any chance I get  SSHOLEPosts: 857 Registered: 10/20/2004 Offline
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3/7/2005 at 15:40 |
If you go to jail i will cry for you. If you get banged in the knot, I will masturbate insanely fast about you.
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"You must have weak asslips. I like to sculpt mine on the way out, like table legs under a lathe" - Vasudeva |
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Senor_Smoke
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 306 Registered: 9/9/2004 Offline
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3/8/2005 at 15:56 |
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Look Out for #1
Dont Step in #2 |
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truenative
I'm what makes bread wonder.  SSHOLEPosts: 303 Registered: 1/6/2005 Offline
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3/10/2005 at 21:37 |
Well, try to secure a supply of Saltpeter and sneak some into your cellmate's kool-aid. They use this to discourage erections in county lock-ups, it might help you reduce the number of assrapings you might have to endure.
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I live for Warm Beer and Cold Women! |
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Evildigitz
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 143 Registered: 4/6/2004 Offline
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3/10/2005 at 22:20 |
He's not realy going to jail - tis all lies - filthy Canadian lies
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- Multiskilled team member -
- Jack of all trades, expert at none -
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1901 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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3/10/2005 at 23:06 |
Yeah, LK is not going to jail he is being sentenced to diaper duty for the next three years which everyone with kids knows is worse.
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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