Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!   SSHOLE |
Posts: 1901 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 07:35  |
This is awesome. This is the first pornsite I've found in years that I'd actually advertise to swarmers. When you first load it up, it looks just like every crappy scam site out there, except that it's real. It's huge, it's updated constantly, there's no spam, no popups, and no bullshit -- and it's completely free. When you sign up through that link above and respond to the confirmation email, I make a bit of loose change. See what other swarmers have to say about it. People love this place, so I feel fine about sending you there and am confident you will enjoy boners. The thread below is what brought you here, but chances are by now the images are broken, the passwords don't work, and you can't get shit to load. You're welcome to try, of course, but This is your best bet.
 Don't forget to respond to the confirmation email , or you won't get in, so check your spam filter, pervert. This message is only shown to anonymous peeps coming in from other websites looking for porn. Registered users are not shown any ads here. Now, on to the original post... Since the lists have started… why the fuck not continue the trend?
This particular topic might even have some educational value for those who are hibernating, and/or are just coming of age. I will not mention any names here… except to remind someone I am twice their age plus 13 yrs!
Best pick up line for me: In a bar, coffee shop, café, etc… and some VERY HOT GUY has been giving me eyes. Then as he is about to walk away, I walk over like I am going to introduce myself I say with a with sly yet coy smile… “Why are you still dressed?” Then just like Emeril Lagasse says “BAMM”. Of course the relationship never lasted; but that was not the point now was it?
Worst attempted pick up line I have ever heard: You look like someone I know…. Or even worse… you remind me of my X-wife!
Go ahead and say it... think it if you will... I used to be a real party (slut) girl.
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Easier to get into than a community college.
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die  SSHOLEPosts: 756 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 07:48 |
Bloke I used to know in my younger days had a good system. H e would find an attractive lady in the pub, walk up and introduce himself, then ask her what she was doing on the following Saturday. When she asked him why he wanted to know, he would reply thus: " I figured you might want to come over to my place and spend the day in bed". He got kneed in the nuts and slapped in the face quite a few times, but he got laid a fair few times as well. ( Enough that he continued to ask the question ).
[Edited on 9/1/2005 by dragonstaff]
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1901 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 07:58 |
I think your old mate is my soul mate!
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die SSHOLEPosts: 756 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 09:48 |
He was a mad ( as in crazy ) biker and this was back in the late 70s- early 80s so I have no idea where he is now.
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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barch97
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 588 Registered: 6/18/2003 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 13:17 |
pick up lines are fucking stoopit. club the bitch over the head and drag her back to your cave.
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die SSHOLEPosts: 756 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 13:50 |
barch97: pick up lines are fucking stoopit. club the bitch over the head and drag her back to your cave.
That works great for those troglodytes amongst us who do live in caves. However, for the vast majority who live within the boundaries of civilization, pick-up lines, whilst lame at bestand pathetic at worst, are a more socially acceptable means of gaining the interest of whichever member of the opposite ( or otherwise) sex has caught your eye at the moment.
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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barch97
DARTH MENSES Posts: 588 Registered: 6/18/2003 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 14:50 |
stop it. don't let women get away with this bullshit.
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Tagnut
SENATOR BABYHEAD  Posts: 219 Registered: 11/27/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 15:12 |
"Hey bitch! Want to go halves on a bastard?"
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STOP STEALING MY OXYGEN ! |
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fastlane
Zombie scream style  SSHOLEPosts: 672 Registered: 2/7/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 18:49 |
Simple: wanna fuk?
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I love the sound of silence. It gives me something else to break. |
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Loaf
Tender vittles  Posts: 2 Registered: 10/19/2003 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 21:11  |
this is my first post, but i got a wicked line.
so you walk up to respective hottie and the bar and kindly ask to push in her STOOL.
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I am the Cow God... |
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wolfer
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 453 Registered: 12/1/2003 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 21:14 |
Point at the cooch and say. "uh you mind if i have a piece of that?
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Jacket
Tender vittles  Posts: 23 Registered: 12/20/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 22:06 |
Best: Nice shoes... wanna fuck?
Worst: I have a small wang (wait for pity fuck) |
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government_death_robot
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 920 Registered: 4/23/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 22:22 |
:|
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bwned. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4460 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 22:29 |
This is one I've yet to test, but I'm sure the effect would be spectacular.
"Say. Let's take you home and get you pregnant."
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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ragoo
We are not amused.  SSHOLEPosts: 663 Registered: 9/4/2004 Offline
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1/9/2005 at 22:49 |
I was at a dorm party once. I was hammered and started talking to this chick who was also drunk. I think I actually said "I want to take you outside and have my way with you."
A little crude, perhaps, but it worked.
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Interjections show excitement or emotion. They're generally set apart from a sentence by an exclamation point, or by a comma when the feeling's not as strong. |
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nocal
It's insane, this guy's taint  SSHOLEPosts: 811 Registered: 8/25/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 03:51 |
Best one I ever heard:
How much do you think a polar bear weighs?
[wait for answer]
Probably enough to break the ice. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit  SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 04:13 |
My pickup line : "There will be bouts of severe depression, and prolonged drinking binges followed by mass poetry/songs output, My zest for life is only outweighed by my desire to do nothing. We can fuck for hours"
works like a charm
[Edited on 10/1/2005 by ghostrideryyz]
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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Steel
If you want to keep your tongue, don't lick me in the Winter!  SSHOLEPosts: 506 Registered: 10/14/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 15:56 |
My discussion starter: "Ever think about having a one night stand?"
On a side note, I strongly feel women shouldn't get to post their pickup lines as they are irrelevant. DumbSkull of course you saying "Why are you still dressed?" worked.
Any attempt to pickup a guy will work Unless you are homely... Then we need some additional enticing... But even then not a lot. |
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crystalpipes
Tender vittles  Posts: 21 Registered: 10/9/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 16:07 |
I need to go to bed. Where do you live?
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Piping is life! |
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straydog1980
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 531 Registered: 6/16/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 16:12 |
Tagnut: "Hey bitch! Want to go halves on a bastard?"
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! that is the funniest shit I've ever read. And I can't comment on pickup lines, because I've never used one. I got snagged still young, by a girl that had my daughter. My daughter was born a week after I turned 21, so.....i didn't exactly have 'party time'.
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i\'m going to become rich and famous after i invent a
device that allows you to stab people in the face over the
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straydog1980
DARTH MENSES Posts: 531 Registered: 6/16/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 16:14 |
I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
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i\'m going to become rich and famous after i invent a
device that allows you to stab people in the face over the
internet |
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HOBO
* b0bo has quit IRC ('Exit')  SSHOLEPosts: 1120 Registered: 3/19/2002 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 18:12 |
Hi my name is Hobo. How you doing?
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" I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question." ~Spock~
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freakmachine
Web Fucko Extraordinaire  SSHOLEPosts: 590 Registered: 4/15/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 18:58 |
"lying on stained white sheets with a bleeding virgin,
we could plan a murder or start a religeon"
(weeds out the dull ones) |
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Heather
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 612 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 23:16 |
The guy who locks eyes with you across a crowded dance floor/bar and just has that stare...Not a homicidal stalker stare but one that says he's almost undressing you with his eyes and he's not afraid that you know it. That is the best pickup line ever. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 23:20 |
Heather: The guy who locks eyes with you across a crowded dance floor/bar and just has that stare...Not a homicidal stalker stare but one that says he's almost undressing you with his eyes and he's not afraid that you know it. That is the best pickup line ever.
That happened to me once, i just ignored the guy.
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2446 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 23:21 |
HAHA fukin aw350m3
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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truenative
I'm what makes bread wonder.  SSHOLEPosts: 303 Registered: 1/6/2005 Offline
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1/10/2005 at 23:57 |
Well I'm not much for pickuo lines, for me just an easygoing conversation is going to do the trick if anything will. but with that said....
One of my favorites is...
"Can I Kiss You Between Your Big Toes?"
Or
"My ears are really cold, do you think I can warm them up with your Thighs?"
and last and probably least but my buddy has been using it for years so I thought I would though it in. He usually saunters up to a girl after a few drinks and wispers in her ear:
"I have an 8 inch tongue and I can Breath through my ears" |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4460 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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1/11/2005 at 00:14 |
ghostrideryyz: Heather: The guy who locks eyes with the Village People across a crowded dance floor/bar and just has that stare...Not a homicidal stalker stare but one that says he's almost undressing the Village People with his eyes and he's not afraid that the Village People know it. That is the best pickup line ever.
That happened to me once, i just ignored the guy.
Hahahaha.
Oh, hahahahaha. That is too fuking good. Maybe I'll leave this on for a while, then. :D
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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wolfer
DARTH MENSES Posts: 453 Registered: 12/1/2003 Offline
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1/11/2005 at 00:21 |
vasudeva: ghostrideryyz: Heather: The guy who locks eyes with the Village People across a crowded dance floor/bar and just has that stare...Not a homicidal stalker stare but one that says he's almost undressing the Village People with his eyes and he's not afraid that the Village People know it. That is the best pickup line ever.
That happened to me once, i just ignored the guy.
Hahahaha.
Oh, hahahahaha. That is too fuking good. Maybe I'll leave this on for a while, then.
That is really good. I was like what is she talking about village people for and then realized what it was. Eggsellent
[Edited on 11/1/2005 by wolfer] |
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SexNinja
the illest nigga  SSHOLEPosts: 1524 Registered: 10/28/2007 Online
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1/11/2005 at 01:38 |
What's even better is how the filter has changed EVERYTHING. Right click > properties on one of the images ghostrideryyz has posted and look at the 'Alternate text.'
LOLSOME.
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HAMFIGHTER> He shrugged, and started finishing himself off, on my breasts, while I was crying. |
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