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GOT BASTARD?         799 reads

Don't make me fuk your moustache


SSHOLE


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1/5/2005 at 13:58
I got home from work yesterday in a foul mood, all I wanted to do was sit down, play on the puterbox, and watch TV and drink. Settling down in my big easy chair in front of my desk, my wief asks my to do a load of laundry, actually asks me a couple of times because I was busy ignoring her, I snap and in a terse tone say "OKAY...fuk". A couple of minutes later my Dad knocks on the door of my garage/man room, pissed at the disturbance and without looking over my shoulder to see who it is I yell "Fuking WHAT!” It turns out that he needed a little bit of help carrying something (he has a hernia and is scheduled for surgery in a month). Later that evening my cousin calls me and asks me to play badminton at the racquet club (his doubles partner was sick and he thought I'd like to play), I laughed at him for asking me to play such a retarded sport and as soon as I put the phone down I realize something, from the moment I got home I have been a total bastard/asshole/shitheel/dick.

Feeling ashamed, I do the load of laundry, helped Dad with his little chore (took me all of 5 min), and called up my cousin and told him I'd be happy to play badminton (wouldn't you know it, I actually had a good time).

So the question I ask you Swarm, have you ever been a total asshole then felt badly about it later?
CONFESS!







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DARTH MENSES




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1/5/2005 at 14:26

I accept your apology Kahuna, I know you've been an ass to me in the past but I know things are going to be different this year!@

As for my self control, I'm always too cool for school!






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Tender vittles




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1/5/2005 at 14:27

Of course. I can't recal any certain events, but lovely tokens to my ex are great, like making sure she got a shit diaper when I dropped the kid off. Things of that nature, she's a hateful bitch so she deserves my assholedom.
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DARTH MENSES




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1/5/2005 at 14:28

God damn text wars!!






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DARTH MENSES




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1/5/2005 at 14:39

I AM the Original Bastard. For years my nickname was "Center of the Universe" because I had to be the most important thing in the room no matter what. This is not good when you have children or a spouse. I am quick to anger & quick to apologise, but that isn't always enough.

An example that comes to mind was years ago when I was in a thetre with my brother and our wives to see the animated "Lord of the Rings" that Ralph Bashki did in the early 80's (never did part two). Just about the time that the lights dropped and the shrooms started to come on, chunks of orange peel started to hit me in the back of the head. Somebody was throwing shit at me!

Without really taking the time to find out which direction they were flying from, I leapt up and crossed over three rows of seats, and standing atop the backs and in full illumination of the projector (making a giant sillohette on the screen) screamed "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MOTHER FUCKER? ARE YOU READY TO FUCKING DIE?" into the faces of the people in the next few rows up. Then I sat down and watched the film.

The theatre was silent. I think a couple of people may have left. No security came for me. And no one said a word back. But the orange peels stopped hitting me in the back of the head. A few years later, my brother told me it was him throwing the orange peels. Ooops! Mea Culpa. I suppose I should have apologised then.

I could be a Bastard...






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Don't make me fuk your moustache


SSHOLE

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1/5/2005 at 17:01

qwerty: I accept your apology Kahuna, I know you've been an ass to me in the past but I know things are going to be different this year!@

As for my self control, I'm always too queer for school!


Funny, I didnt feel bad about that.
What I like about you qwerty, is your uncanny skill to give relevant posts in almost every thread, keep up the good work.

[Edited on 5/1/2005 by LORDKAHUNA]






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DARTH MENSES




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1/5/2005 at 21:47

Insecurity pisses me off.

I went down to San Antonio to spend the weekend with my girlfriend and her family. I come home to a pissy husband and I'm not in the mood to tease out of him the reason for his surly mood. He asks me if we are "ok". I did not handle it well. I haven't done any damn thing to make him suspicious. Instead of reacting with concern, I told him to quit being stupid as I closed the door to take a nap. THEN I get an email from my creepy father in law who called my house last night and remarked things didn't sound so good at home.

While I was out of town, he'd called me on my cell phone. The reception was poor. I forgot to call him back. He called my friend's house and her husband forgot to give me the message. From this, he dreamed up an affair. Did he honestly think I was holed up in some Holiday Inn downtown with my sancho and everytime he called my friend's house, she and her husband were covering for me?

I was tired. I was hurt. I was indignant.

"Listen fucker. I could see you giving me the third degree if you thought you had proof that I was cheating on you. You have a sadly overactive imagination. I never wanted to cheat on your ass until today when you started acting like a whiny bitch."

not one of my prodest moments. confession is good for the soul.
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DARTH MENSES




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1/5/2005 at 22:36

GroupHug a place for your confessions(and the only place I spend more time at than here on the internet). As I said before I don't get angry (honestly, you could say anything you want to my face and I don't care) so here are confessions by retards:

670493242


The chick that lives next to me is a little heavy.
NOT fat, but heavy, a kind of hot heavy cause I hate fat chicks, they make me want to puke (I know some of you know what I’m talking about).

We’ve lived next to each other for years and our family’s consider us family. So we don’t have to knock when we come in and we pretty much have the run of the house (as if we lived there).

I walked in the other day, it was hot and I wanted to swim in their pool.
As I’m walking through the house I can hear myself. I slowly walk up to her room (which is open a crack) and I can see myself on her TV, she had video taped me while I was getting changed one day to go swimming. I look over and she is completely naked fucking herself with a vibrator. Her tits were oiled up and you could clearly see her enjoyment.

I walked in and she freaked out and almost started to cry, but I was so turned on she could she my hard on through my shorts. She walked over and grabbed it, then whipped my pants down and started to suck my dick (man was she good).

I’ve fucked her every day since then. Were not dating, were just fucking and because our parents consider us family they don’t think we are doing anything. Most nights we fuck two times. OH man, just thinking about her I want to jerk off right now.
I’m going to fuck her extra hard tonight getting off on the fact that I posted this.






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DARTH MENSES




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1/6/2005 at 01:14

So the question I ask you Swarm, have you ever been a total asshole then felt badly about it later?
CONFESS!


No.






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Bad Taste in your Mouth


SSHOLE

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1/6/2005 at 01:41

qwerty: I walked in and she freaked out and almost started to cry, but I was so turned on she could she my hard on through my shorts. She walked over and grabbed it, then whipped my pants down and started to suck my dick (man was she good).


That sounds an awful lot like a lie.

A hot lie.






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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you.
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Don't make me fuk your moustache


SSHOLE

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1/6/2005 at 12:52

A sad lie






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I can break you with my mind. Watch, I'll do it.


SSHOLE

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1/6/2005 at 13:55

LORDKAHUNA: A sad lie


It could happen






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If you set him on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
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I'm assuming the position!


SSHOLE

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1/6/2005 at 20:00

Not only is it a lie it also sounds like a very sad day dream to want to fuck the fat chick that lives next door. Gawd what a pathetic waste of skin you are Qwerty.








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SSHOLE

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1/6/2005 at 20:08

Actually he is fuking the next door neighbors family dog, who ironically is kinda chubby.






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SSHOLE

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1/6/2005 at 20:08

Most of the time (99.9%) my bitchiness is in response to the ball and chains bastardliness, so everything I do/say is justified.






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