ghostrider
liberal exit   SSHOLE |
Posts: 2451 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 20:57 |
A Priest and a Rabbi were walking past a park, they spotted a little boy playing by himself. The Priest says 'we should go fuck that little boy', the Rabbi says 'out of what?'
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach
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qwerty
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 628 Registered: 9/8/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 22:03 |
Q: why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: to stomp out forest fires.
Q: why to elephants have round flat feet?
A: to stomp out burning ducks
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Why did the first Koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first.
Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?
It thought suicide was in.
Why did the fourth Koala fall out of the tree?
It had a grand piano tied to it's foot.
Why did the fifth Koala fall out of the tree?
It was hit by the piano stool.
Why did the Kangaroo drop dead?
It was hit by 5 Koalas and a grand piano.
Why did the sixth Koala fall out of the tree?
It thought it was a game.
Why did the seventh Koala fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure!
Why did the tree fall over?
The koala never let go.
[Edited on 15/12/2004 by qwerty]
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fnord linkswarm fnord |
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Heather
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 612 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 22:17 |
How old are you, qwerty?
A woman goes to the pharmacist and asks him for arsenic.
'What do you need arsenic for?" Asks the pharmacist.
'To kill my husband', she answers.
'I'm not going to give you arsenic for that purpose!!' he says..
She pulls out a picture of the man in an uncompromising position with the pharmacist's wife.
'why didn't you tell me you had a prescription?' |
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qwerty
DARTH MENSES Posts: 628 Registered: 9/8/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 22:20 |
Heather: How old are you, qwerty?
Old enough to have a kickass goatee and shaved head.
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fnord linkswarm fnord |
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Heather
DARTH MENSES Posts: 612 Registered: 11/24/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 22:27 |
Take it easy, killer. I was just curious. |
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straydog1980
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 531 Registered: 6/16/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 22:54 |
HAR HAR
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i\'m going to become rich and famous after i invent a
device that allows you to stab people in the face over the
internet |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2451 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 23:41 |
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2451 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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12/15/2004 at 23:59 |
Q: How do you make sure the woman has an orgasm ?
A: Who the fuck cares
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth  SSHOLEPosts: 4469 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 00:00 |
qwerty: Heather: How old are you, qwerty?
Old enough to have a kickass goatee and shaved head.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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wolfer
DARTH MENSES  Posts: 456 Registered: 12/1/2003 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 00:12 |
How do you separate the men from the boys?
with a crowbar... |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2451 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 00:16 |
Did ya hear about Greek guy who didn't wanna leave home ?
he didn't wanna leave his brothers' behind
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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nocal
It's insane, this guy's taint  SSHOLEPosts: 811 Registered: 8/25/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 01:52  |
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told the bitch twice.
What do all battered women have in common?
They don't know when to shut the fuck up.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
I don't know what you get, but I get an erection.
A man goes to a cheap whore, and they go to a motel. He says, "Uhh...why don't we turn off the lights?" being that she's so ug. They start to have sex, and it's rough and bumpy and dry and they guy says, "Ugh, this hurts!" She says, "Oh hold on just a second..." and walks to the bathroom. She comes back a few minutes later, and they start going at it, and the guy enjoys himself. When they're done, he asks, "So what did you do when you went in the bathroom? You came back and everything was nice and smooth." She says, "Oh, I just picked the scabs."
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mundhra
dread pirate neckbeard  SSHOLEPosts: 1636 Registered: 3/25/2002 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 03:03 |
ghostrideryyz:
HUZZAH AND KUDOS TO YOU, SIR!
not only because you got an image to post correctly, but also because you're right.
BRAVO! |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2451 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 03:19 |
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position!  SSHOLEPosts: 1903 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 09:09  |
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang,bang,clop clop clop?
An amish drive-by shooting
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die  SSHOLEPosts: 756 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 12:01 |
Q. What have you done wrong if the wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to yell at you ?
A. Made her chain too fucking long.
[Edited on 16/12/2004 by dragonstaff]
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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dragonstaff
Too old to Rock and Roll...too young to die SSHOLEPosts: 756 Registered: 8/19/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 12:08 |
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I am so cool I have to live in a volcano so that there's not another ice age
I am so cool that I have swarmed one of the top ten viewed links of all time!!
Ranked 10th in Popular Charts
That link is nothing to be proud of, Qwerty
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The Grumpiest Alpha
To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today. - Isaac Asimov |
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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache  SSHOLEPosts: 1624 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 12:50 |
qwerty: I am so cool that I have swarmed one of the top ten viewed links of all time!!
Ranked 10th in Popular Charts
Just when you start to be tolerable, you expose your asshat ways.
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the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4469 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 13:25 |
Ok, good.
Someone prove to me that that link is child porn. Cause I don't think it technically is.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2451 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 13:33 |
vasudeva: Ok, good.
Someone prove to me that that link is child porn. Cause I don't think it technically is.
Pete Townshend is on the way
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1903 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 13:43 |
Child world: Top List for non-nude models ages 3-15 years.
Not exactly nude but pretty damn close to it! Fucking pervert!
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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Lefen
I think Clavis wins my heart <3  SSHOLEPosts: 897 Registered: 9/16/2003 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 13:46 |
since the subject was brought up, i'd like to take the oppertunity to apologise for being an asshat to people on irc last night.
i still think that link should never have made it to the swarm, but i was definitely out of line with you guys on #megarad over it, so please accept my sincerest apology.
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< barfass> hey, fuck your crumpets, postman pat |
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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache SSHOLEPosts: 1624 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 13:47 |
vasudeva: Ok, good.
Someone prove to me that that link is child porn. Cause I don't think it technically is.
Not pron, but sick.
Not that the sight of little girls is sick, but I get the feeling that these pages exist to provide perverts with "legally safe" spank material.
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the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1903 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 14:01 |
LK, you have reached a higher level of maturity since impregnating your wifey. It come with the territory especially since there is a 50/50 chance you could have a spilt tail (daughter) or a nutwad (son).
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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vasudeva
Bad Taste in your Mouth SSHOLEPosts: 4469 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 14:12 |
LORDKAHUNA: Not pron, but sick.
Not that the sight of little girls is sick, but I get the feeling that these pages exist to provide perverts with "legally safe" spank material. Ok, I wanted to debate this, but you've hit the nail exactly on the head and now I lack steam. THANKS FOR SEEING THE TRUTH, DICKNOSE.
On the other hand, I now get to dispense with the uncomfortable feeling that I'm sort of justifying Qwerty's existence, which I would never do.
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slippedhole> I am on to you and your evil intentions. I am the true protector of this website and am willing to do battle with you. |
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LORDKAHUNA
Don't make me fuk your moustache SSHOLEPosts: 1624 Registered: 8/5/2003 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 14:16 |
LORDKAHUNA, STEALER OF STEAM!!!1
BOOYAKASHA!
toot toot
[Edited on 16/12/2004 by LORDKAHUNA]
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the rice I had yesterday came out practically verbatim |
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ghostrider
liberal exit SSHOLEPosts: 2451 Registered: 7/29/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 14:18 |
WHAT'S BROWN AND BUBBLY AND KNOCKS ON THE DOOR ?
A SANDNIGER IN A MICROWAVE
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I build plastic bonfires on the beach and skip batteries into the lake ~ Cockroach |
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Dumbskull
I'm assuming the position! SSHOLEPosts: 1903 Registered: 4/22/2004 Offline
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12/16/2004 at 14:33 |
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
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Easier to get into than a community college. |
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azron123
I can break you with my mind. Watch, I'll do it.  SSHOLEPosts: 1505 Registered: 3/6/2003 Offline
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12/17/2004 at 00:51 |
What's the difference between blacks and snow tires?
Snow tires don't sing when you put the chains on.
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If you give a man a fire you keep him warm for one night.
If you set him on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life. |
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LOki
Refusenik  SSHOLEPosts: 484 Registered: 3/8/2002 Offline
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12/17/2004 at 01:35 |
Mike and Bill are old fishing buddies who haven't seen each other in years. They used to grow up together in the old neighborhood and go fishing every chance they could.
Deciding it was finally time to catch up with each other, the two friends embarked on a fishing trip and began talking about what was going on in their lives. "Hey Bill," Mike says, "Remember Ellen Banks?" Bill smiles, "You mean Easy Ellen? You mean Every Imput Ellen?!? Yeah. I remember her all right! Didn't she have sex with the entire football team?" "Yep. That's her." Mike replies.
"Well, what about her?" Mike smiles as he unpacks his fishing gear... "I married her." he says proudly. Feeling embarrassed, Bill tries to make up for insulting his friends wife. "Boy...I guess you must have a pretty great sex life with that Ellen!" Bill says uneasily. Mike sighs and says: "Well, not really. Her pussy is covered with sores and lesions and it's really dirty. I actually can't have sex with her at all."
"Well, Ellen had some great tits! I bet at least those keep you happy!" Mike shakes his head no. "Her breasts are covered with cancer and they really can't be touched." "But Ellen was known for giving great blow jobs! Those must get you thru the night." Mike shrugs his shoulders. "Nope. She can't do that either anymore. Her mouth is riddled with herpes and mucus. I'm not even supposed to kiss her."
Bill looks over at his friend perplexed..."So if you can't fuck her, suck her tits, get a blow job or even kiss her...why did you marry her?!?" Casting his fishing line out into the water, Mike grins at his friend and says: "She shits the best worms!"
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