freakmachine

Location: Here!

Occupation: Web Fcuko Extraordinaire

Interests: miscellaneous

Today is Electrogravitational Singularity Day.
New comments on Things freakmachine has submitted or commented on in the past 7 days.

Can the Gamification of Female Masturbation Remove Its Social Stigma?

"Oh my, I'm getting all hot an d bothered"

freakmachine's journal: Oral meep Etiquette

In light of the recent meep how-to, I feel it necessary to address the all to often ignored aspect of oral meep. I refer specifically to oral meep etiquette. For example, how does one respond with propriety when the lady you are performing meep on farts? ("That's ok babe, I usually make them meep!") Or how does a lady respond when the man she performs meep on has smelly poo streaks in his crack? ("I needed a mudpack on my fingers anyway, here let me put some on my face") What if your tongue ring gets stuck on a chick's meep ring? ("Mmrffltt wsrrnng pfllttt uhnrg")

freakmachine's journal: heard on the radio this morning

Paul Anka's new album; he sings "Smells Like Teen Spirit," "Black Hole Sun," and "The Love Cats." All in Sinatra swingy lounge act style. I think Kurt ate his shotgun so he wouldn't have to hear this.

freakmachine's journal: Why I like Garfield

Why do YOU like garfield?

freakmachine's journal: inappropriate thoughts

Tonight I met a cute girl at a party. After a while, we are dancing close, looking each other in the eye, she is breathing through her nose and I can feel her breath gently on my face. The thought comes in "IS THAT WHAT THE INSIDE OF HER LUNGS SMELL LIKE?"

freakmachine's journal: Homeless leg

So I was driving down the road recently and saw a homeless lady panhandling at an intersection. As I got closer to her, I noticed she was missing a leg. Her sign read "Please help. I am on my last leg."

freakmachine's journal: Old peeple

Why do old people, while in a long line at the grocery store, pay for two items with a check? meep man, haven't you heard of cash? It works like magic in fifty out of fifty states, and doesn't require and ID.

freakmachine's journal: Office Thanksgiving lunch

Somebody brought something labeled "Shrip fry rise." Oddly enough, it was the tastiest thing on the table. I'm still not sure what it was though.

freakmachine's journal: Preying Mantis

I know someone who told me she lives in another body living on another planet in another galaxy. In that body, which is in the form of a preying mantis with an ovoid shaped soul, she looks after the general good of the earth and all it's inhabitants. She is not one of the bad "Greys" but rather their enemy.

freakmachine's journal: meep it

After an encounter with hydroponic technology I go home to sit on my couch and play a few tunes through my stereo. As the guitar notes from my new "Tortoise" LP play emerge fitfully from my speakers, I feel the absolute appropriateness of this album as an adjunct to the effects of hydroponics. The sweet notes slowly fill my living room to the brim, lifting my couch up with them gently as the walls and floor disappear. Higher and higher we go, the only connection to the known world a faint echo of the stream of thoughts that normally fill my waking conciousness but which now have receded as before some great wind.

freakmachine's journal: Living the meep Dream

Yesterday I entertained myself with the drawing app thingy in Kahuna's photoshop. At first I thought maybe only swarmers reading the journal had access to the drawing pad until I noticed that the many of the responses to my retarded pictures sounded like bored 8th graders in study hall. Hmmm.

Only registered Swarmers can send private messages.

Forum: We had a good run. [LULZ JK]

Ok funny story, really, I'm at kind of a loss for words...

The Search for Katsuhira's Tiger

Classical Japanese metalworker Ford Hallam attempts to recreate a missing sword guard. The result, and videos, are pretty unreal.

Lots And Lots Of Scifi And Fantasy Ebooks

No summary.

BBC-A History Of The World

An interactive historical journey. I got lost here for hours.

meeploads Of Old Console Games Online -- Nintendo, Genesis, Etc

Also a meepload of movies and related.

Eye Candy

Play with the slide controls.

10 Cutting Edge Folded Paper Artists

Maybe we could have an 'art' category.

Hack N Mod

Site full of hacks, mods and diy projects.

The Absolute Beginner's Guide To Programming On The Web

This is cool, maybe a newb like me can learn some meep.

100 Unbelievably Useful Reference Sites You've Never Heard Of

Well, I think we've all heard of some of them.

earned the Syndicate Hustler badge when azron123 clipswarmed The Monkeysphere

earned the Syndicate Boss badge when casmhar clipswarmed American Literature Online

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Syndicate Hustler
Has had their things ClipSwarmed 10 times
Syndicate Boss
Has had their things ClipSwarmed 25 times
Party Candidate
Submits 20+ Politics Things
Ouija Board
Commented on 100 rejected links
LOCKED: Aryan
Most use of racial slurs in comments
LOCKED: Bruce Lee
Submits 20+ Violence Things
LOCKED: Camphone Thread Artiste
Posts 50 times to the Camphone Thread
LOCKED: Cutter
Creates more than 5 new Journals a month
LOCKED: Chief Surgeon
Edits the most posts
LOCKED: Corpsefucker
Comments on the most outdated posts ever
LOCKED: Decider
Casts 100+ deciding votes in the Alpha Queue
LOCKED: Dittohead
Gets scooped the most
LOCKED: Swarm Employee
Comment every day for a week
LOCKED: Genghis Khan
Submits 50+ Violence Things
LOCKED: Grumpiest Alpha
Downvoted the most links in the queue
LOCKED: Hugh Hefner
Most Sexual submitter
LOCKED: Inspector Gadget
Searches for links threads journals and users the most
LOCKED: Jackoff Planner
Clipswarms 10+ Sexual things
LOCKED: Juggernaut
Most rejected things total
LOCKED: Late To The Party
Obtains 10 Wallflowers
LOCKED: Playboy
Submits 20+ Sexual Things
LOCKED: Petitioner
Comments the most in their own rejected things
LOCKED: Predator
Comment 20+ times in one user's things in one week
LOCKED: Quentin Tarantino
Submits 20+ Film/Television and 20+ Violence things
LOCKED: Rantasaurus Rex
10+ comments exceeding 1000 words
LOCKED: Renegade Alpha
Votes to delete the most links in the Queue
LOCKED: Repeating Myself
#1 Submitter of the most stuff from a single domain
LOCKED: Senator
Most Political submitter
LOCKED: Serial Killer
Clipswarms the most Violence links
LOCKED: Space Invaders
Submits 10+ Video Game and 10+ Science things
LOCKED: Stalker
Comment 10+ times in the same user's journal in one week
LOCKED: Syndicate Overlord
Has had their things ClipSwarmed the most
LOCKED: Wallflower
Late as hell to a thread (already has 30+ comments)
linkswarm
queue: New link: The NSA and the One Percent
tesco
middle_age+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Art for Art's Sake: Huge Kinetic Wind Sculptures
Crapalicio+
spankerchi+
spankerchi+
spankerchi+
tesco
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: OK, so methane on+
tesco
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: On the plus side;+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Thanks a LOT, man.+
MstrLance
on Spanky's Pic Place: 1. Apply clamps to+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: I can't help but+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: 2013061612095073410FEth.jpg
MstrLance
Happy non-negligent jizzer day!
JohnLenin
Pats on the meep all 'round
JohnLenin
Yeah, congrats on jizzing inside of something and then not letting your mistake die from negligence.
spankerchi+
Happy Anniversary to all my fellow apostates of the rythm method! Clutch your bag of peas PROUDLY!
LOki
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: You make enough+
dragonstaf+
spankerchi+
on YouTube graveyard and cadaver exchange: http://www.youtube.c+
tesco
tesco
tesco
on Cold fusion, maybe p'raps?: Loki You make enough+
tesco
on The man who quit money: Dragonstaff. It is+
linkswarm
queue: New link: My Dad Was in a Band
spankerchi+
It's time to get busy.
spankerchi+
Cleaning the garage this morning so's I have room to build. I gritted my teeth and threw out all the old bits of armor, too-heavy maille(10-12 gauge) and a sword blank I'll never get around to beveling.
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: HAHAHA! You'd be a+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Charities: Not ALWAYS a scam...I mean; not like, EVERY TIME.
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Oh, speaking of+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Obviously you doubt+
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: tesco torque+
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: Perpetual+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: We're having new+
MstrLance
on YouTube graveyard and cadaver exchange: http://www.youtube.c+
dragonstaf+
on Spanky's Pic Place: [@LOki](http://www.l+
dragonstaf+
on Spanky's Pic Place: [@spankerchief](http+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Graham Chapman: A very naughty boy
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: Nothing, according+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: What really makes it+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Can someone tell me+
LOki
middle_age+
on He Puts His Visions Into Our World: I am so looking+
Senor_Smok+
on WWII VD ads.: Ouch
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: The Doctors were+
dragonstaf+
HOBO
on WWII VD ads.: Sunny?
spod
on WWII VD ads.: ha! Linkswarm: She+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: meep dude... You+
LOki
on Spanky's Pic Place: I know that feeling:+
MstrLance
on Spanky's Pic Place: Did you get+
MstrLance
on Spanky's Pic Place: Story time?
dragonstaf+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Get thee to a+
LOki
on WWII VD ads.: Come to think of+
pete56
LINK: WWII VD ads.
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Ouch.
spankerchi+
If this is it though; With my dying breath, I CURSE TESCO!
spankerchi+
Been feeling nauseous and dizzy ever since. Cool-looking bruise though.
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