MOMAD's journal: Why Are There Toads?

Just something I was thinking about today. Some might say "because they eat bugs", but do we really need another creature to mediate the insect population? We have spiders, anteaters, monkeys. . . . just wondering. Speaking of monkeys, 11 have been deemed ineligable for release from an Indian prison, according to the Boston Metro. Yup: it's a monkey ward. Indians hold monkeys sacred, as well as cows, but they don't have the cows sleeping on waterbeds. A farmer in Oregon, however, does.

by MOMAD 2002-01-16 19:54:00 | 1048 reads | 16 comments

MOMAD's journal: Is Megarad "Mega" or "Rad"?

I've heard people pronounce it Megarad and Megarad. I think the second way sounds weird. And why can't I get on those IRC chats, guys? It just says "chat not found" whenever I try. But why would I want to talk with you tools anyway. No one's really using this feature very much so I thought I'd take advantage of the opportunity to convey the following: Why are some girls so meeping dumb?? And if that weren't enough, why are some of them so annoyingly obsessed with food - what they ate, what they're going to eat, when they're going to eat it and whether or not it's ok because it's low-fat or it's ok because they can "treat" themselves, blah blah blah and they sit and talk about this meep to you as if you actually give a flying meep. And to top it off, when you are eating, they come over and study it and ask what it is, where you got it, what's in it, like it's a meeping biology experiment.

by MOMAD 2002-01-24 14:23:00 | 1086 reads | 6 comments

MOMAD's journal: Threebrain rocks my Sony

The CD I ordered from Threebrain finally came last night (24-hour shipping my meep!) and the only way I can think to describe it is Tenacious D/South Park on geltabs. There's a love song where Albert (our beloved "Weeeee!" squirrel) sings to his beloved, who seems to be a swamp creature of sorts with 8 penises, all of which Albert pledges to hold tonight. Of course Gonads and Strife is there, but it's different to hear it without looking at the video. If you picture the squirrel bopping around with a little guitar, it's meepin' hilarious. If you picture two guys singing and talking really slow before the tracks get sped up in the editing process, it's kinda like hmm, anyone can do this. It's the lyrics that count. See that giraffe song for reference.

by MOMAD 2002-01-25 10:16:00 | 624 reads | comment

MOMAD's journal: Follow-up

It's big and weird, AND it's reticulated.

by MOMAD 2002-01-25 19:59:00 | 535 reads | comment

MOMAD's journal: Mischief

Today while kHz was at class I went into his room and rearranged all the keys on his keypad and he got really pissed. He dumped a bucket of deer blood and cottage cheese on me (why he had that on hand I don't know), and told me I would perish in flames before the coming of the next quarter moon. Geez, some people just can't take a joke.

by MOMAD 2002-01-28 19:33:00 | 563 reads | comment

MOMAD's journal: The Patriots won it for ME

That's right. They wanted to give me a nice birthday present. And they didn't even know they were doing it. What a nice bunch of lads! Last night after the winning kick, shenanigans and I ran through the streets amidst blaring car horns and screaming drunk fans to the bar down the block, where insanity reigned supreme. Beautiful. Yessir, it's a fine day to be in Boston. Tom Brady is in love with me, but he doesn't know that either.

by MOMAD 2002-02-04 09:15:00 | 550 reads | comment

MOMAD's journal: Going Postal

Today a UPS guy came to the door with a package. He handed me the thing to sign and asked if I was Barbara. I said no, that's the people next door. Suddenly he rolls his eyes and sighs exasperatingly, saying "You've got to be kidding me! This is like the fourth house I've been to trying to find this place!" Surprised and a little scared, I said "Uh. . . . well. . . if they're not home I'll sign for it and give it to them or something (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!)." He said no that's okay, have a nice day. (?) I went back upstairs thinking how close I came to being an innocent victim of WHEN POSTAL WORKERS ATTACK. It's always funny when strangers come to your door and yell at you for no reason.

by MOMAD 2002-02-06 18:06:00 | 554 reads | comment

MOMAD's journal: How I get targeted by crackheads

So I'm walking down Mass. Ave last night and this woman stops me and asks me if I know the way to Somerville. I started directing her towards the T but she says no, she has to walk. I looked at her like, um, I hope you have several hours and good shoes. I pointed her in the direction and basically said good luck. THEN she starts crying and ranting about how she just got assaulted, she's not a bum or anything she's just in town to see her mother who has just been diagnosed with cancer, she doesn't have any money but she's not a bum or anything, she just needed money so she went and performed some fellating (the way she worded it was of course much different), and she's not a bum or anything. So after making like she was just venting her situation, she says "Can you do me a favor?" (I think: Here it comes.) She starts asking me for money and as you can imagine, it is OBVIOUS that she's a bum AND a crackhead. I prefer not to indulge people like this, so I just said I didn't have any cash on me and she miraculously forgot all her woes and said "Ok, thanks" and walked away. Nice try. She even had real tears. By the way, don't you love it when they ask for money, you say you have no cash on you, and they actually have the brass ones to ask you to go to the ATM!? Incredible. Later that night, there was the guy who would do anything for a quarter. Example:

by MOMAD 2002-02-07 13:18:00 | 636 reads | comment

MOMAD's journal: The Devil in my Hummus Wrap

I'm amazed at my ability to do things I know are bad for me. Drinking 1% milk, dating a pretty-boy, giving myself a manicure when I'm drunk, being too nice to people and saying yes to their stupid requests.... But at least I have Modest Mouse.

by MOMAD 2002-02-27 11:34:00 | 583 reads | comment

MOMAD's journal: CONFIRMED!

AH-HA!

by MOMAD 2002-02-27 14:39:00 | 571 reads | comment

More Rad Breakin

does this kid have a BONE in his body!?

by fl_projekt 2004-03-29 19:45:19 | 1415 reads | comment