The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Winners for 2012
Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.
middle_age_man
Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
spod
on Bachmann urges 'spiritual warfare' to impose religious values on government: She is acting on+
dragonstaf+
Hey Bobacus, sound off if the twister missed you.
dragonstaf+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: "Actually, as I am+
JohnLenin
I'd like to cash in all of my unused textwar credits to ban everyone from this webbed establishment
meeproach
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: [@tesco](http://www.+
spankerchi+
textwarred tesco until 2013-05-27 22:12:35
tesco
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: My shop is in+
tesco
on Why Is It So Hard To Quit Smoking?: Next they will want+
tesco
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: La Cucaracha You can+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Adios Ray Manzarek
bobacus
It was his rock hall acceptance speech. Its seemingly only on HBO.
dragonstaf+
Link?
bobacus
I want to give the award for the best speech, ever, to Alex Lifeson. I think he found Ozzy's dealer.
Danny_Infe+
LINK: Depression Part Two
Danny_Infe+
linkswarm
queue: New link: French theme park with giant mechanical animals
StartRecor+
Context is everything. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGKxAgCguU
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
StartRecor+
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm!
Danny_Infe+
spankerchi+
meepbox
RIP http://www.lolserver.net/ like 6 months ago. :(
BeachGoat
on Why Is It So Hard To Quit Smoking?: We calculated the+
dragonstaf+
Bob Welch is DED by a shot to his own chest.
linkswarm
queue: New link: meep Trickle is Ded by a shot to his own head.
dragonstaf+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: [@StartRecordingNow]+
StartRecor+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: ALSO people like me?+
StartRecor+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: and without the+
StartRecor+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: _A pistol makes a+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Instagram blunder helps ID alleged thief
meeproach
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: [@tesco](http://www.+
spankerchi+
on The Cost Of Masculine Crime: Oh, DO tell us+
LOki
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: Genetic changes+
tesco
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: [@meeproach](http://+
tesco
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: [@meeproach](http://+
meeproach
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: [@tesco](http://www.+
tesco
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: [@StartRecordingNow]+
tesco
on The Cost Of Masculine Crime: Spankerchief. I am+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Bakersfield police beat suspect to death, then seize cell phones of witnesses.(Alledgedly erasing one video)
StartRecor+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: Learned a new word+
MstrLance
We called them meep Floss.
BeachGoat
We called them Wrist Rockets in my day
StartRecor+
i got me one of them thongs. i'll post a pic later.
meeproach
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: [@tesco](http://www.+
HOBO
http://www.cafepress.com/+classic_thong,5384613
Cryogeneri+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: What if you live+
spod
LOki
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: http://www.youtube.c+
linkswarm
queue: New link: World's Largest Rubber Duckie Assassinated
linkswarm
queue: New link: Depression Part Two
linkswarm
queue: New link: Tried To Have meep With Hornet's Nest - Death
linkswarm
queue: New link: Interview With Charlie Watts
LOki
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: Loki, your+
spankerchi+
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: Blah blah (made up+
spankerchi+
on The Cost Of Masculine Crime: I have a GOOD+
spankerchi+
on The Cost Of Masculine Crime: You seem to have+
spankerchi+
on The Cost Of Masculine Crime: How old are you+
tesco
on The Cost Of Masculine Crime: Beach, men tend to+
tesco
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: Hoplophobes have a+
tesco
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: Loki, your+
LOki
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: "Pressure-cookers+
StartRecor+
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: I keep my pressure+
LOki
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: Entirely reasonable.+
LOki
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: You organ worshipers+
tesco
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: You organ worshipers+
MstrLance
on Gun Crime Has Plunged, but Americans Think It's Up: Now they're coming+
linkswarm
queue: New link: Bachmann urges 'spiritual warfare' to impose religious values on government
LOki
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: Also birds of the+
spankerchi+
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: 1) The underlying+
meeproach
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: Hi tesco, you+
tesco
on WE ARE STAR PEOPLE: Scientific proof we were created by aliens.: I put choose in+
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pete56
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pete56
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mstrlance
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beachgoat
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startrecor+
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spankerchi+
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spankerchi+
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spankerchi+
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dragonstaf+
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beachgoat
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spankerchi+
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pete56
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pete56
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pete56
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beachgoat
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beachgoat
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beachgoat
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spankerchi+
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dragonstaf+
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nurglets
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beachgoat
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startrecor+
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spankerchi+
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spankerchi+
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spankerchi+
Tue, Aug14
posts
4455 rads
4455 rads
#
Ronald left this world as he entered it: on a frigid winter night, amid frantic screams and blood-soaked linens, while relatives stood nearby and muttered furious promises to find and punish the man responsible.
Wed, Aug15
posts
9450 rads
9450 rads
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Ooo, good one!
How about:
"It was most enchanting, the orange glow of her skin as Snookie purred; "You know, I'm already pregnant, so you's can just leave dat rubbah off baybee!"
Thu, Aug16
posts
26.8k rads
26795 rads
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I remember the last time I saw him, resplendent in his long coat and tricorn hat, beadazzled cutlass gleaming in the lurid light of the Little Buffalo as he stumbled off into the briny darkness, holding his map upside down and muttering incoherently.
Thu, Aug16
posts
9450 rads
9450 rads
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That could've been ANYBODY.
Thu, Aug16
posts
3829 rads
3829 rads
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win