Kevin Smith's Army

How his loyal fans prop up a stunningly mediocre career.

Decider: LORDKAHUNA

LORDKAHUNA

I'm not a Kevin Smith fan, though I liked Dogma and, when I was 14, thought Mallrats was the funniest meep ever. He makes some good movies, and some terrible movies.

However, this article seems to be written by the most bitterly jealous guy I've ever read. Guess those who can make successful films make them, and those who can't write for Slate.

He mad.

  • hoyaguru
  • Sat, Nov05

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Not a fan either. Never saw his earlier works, which I'm guessing were the good ones, otherwise he wouldn't still be riding on the coat tails of them. Liked Dogma until the "meep Demon" nonsense. I don't know, just not my up of tea.

Say what you want about all his other movies but, Clerks, Clerks 2, Mallrats and Dogma are some of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

  • nurglets
  • Sat, Nov05

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My taste > your taste

  • bobacus
  • Sat, Nov05

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Try not to suck any meep on the way through the parking lot.

And Clerks: The Animated Series is so meeping good I can see why ABC cancelled it halfway through its second episode.

Seriously, it's awesome.

  • sugarslim
  • Sun, Nov06

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Ohhhhhh the college days when everyone was of the opinion that K Smith movies were so awesome and I had to be that guy who insisted otherwise.

The dialogue in Smith's films always sounds as if it were written by a bunch of stoned college dudes who meep off wayyyy more than they consort with actual females.

Clerks: funny only if you were high; one of the punchlines in the movie involves the then seemingly ridiculousness notion of 'iced coffee', i wonder if K Smith loses any sleep about missing out on that great idea. to its credit, i did find out what snowballing was.

Chasing Amy: utter meeping meep. I can buy falling in love with a meep. Im certainly not going to win her heart by banging my best male friend in the meep.

Mallrats: @teh_blintzor

Dogma: mildly amusing. wanted to smash my face with a brick when God turned out to be alanis morisette.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: genuinely funny, if overtly crude.

Clerks II: Attempted the same formula as above. Failed. Way too much ganja smoked while writing.

What's at issue, of course, is not the $10 cost of a movie ticket, but Smith's ego and a post-hoc self-righteousness that conveniently followed the bottoming-out of his critical stock.

If anything can be said of Smith, its that he is the personified archetype of the overweight comic book nerd who sucks at everything because hes too busy dreaming about being awesome.

Hopefully Seth Rogen takes heed of this.

  • JohnLenin
  • Sun, Nov06

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For what it's worth, he didn't get into smoking pot until after Zack & Miri, or Cop Out... one of the two.

  • shitbox
  • Sun, Nov06

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Didn't really like clerks that much and Chasing Amy was meep.
Dogma was pretty meep good though and Red State was excellent. Zack & Miri was pretty lame as was Cop Out which could have been much better.
Kthanksmeepoff.

  • LORDKAHUNA
  • Mon, Nov07

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I actually liked Jersey Girl.

1) Carlin stole every scene, made me wish my dad was like him.
2) J-Lo died
3) It captured the feeling of being a single-dad of a little girl, it was weird how much it affected me.
4) It captured what it is like to be a 30-something single person starting a relationship over again.
5) At one point something was in my eye and it did this moist thing....F U, NO U R A meepET!

Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
linkswarm
queue: New link: German teen Shouryya Ray solves 300-year-old mathematical riddle posed by Sir Isaac Newton
linkswarm
queue: New link: Mao Sugiyama Cooks, Serves Own Genitals At Banquet In Tokyo
BigDinWaun+
fastlane fosters a pen-pal/lover relationship with a terrorist who blew up herself just yesterday - unlucky
BigDinWaun+
fastlane tries out his first gloryhole - blown by disease ridden mule that likes to snap carrots in half - very unlucky
graycube
fastlane
And how could I forget Pepper as she attempts to scare a wild animal. Honey badger doesn't give a meep.~ unlucky
fastlane
Sunny goes to baby a shower. Drowns.~ unlucky
fastlane
Dragonstaff wears a buIIetproof vest. Shot in the face. ~ unlucky
fastlane
BigD meeps the meep out of a girl. Literally.~ unlucky
fastlane
BeachGoat bends over to pick up hot girI's dropped books. meeps. ~ unlucky
fastlane
M_A_M means to write "kk" to black friend on Facebook chat. Adds extra k. ~ unlucky
fastlane
MstrLance finally goes to summer camp. Auschwitz. ~ Unlucky
fastlane
Spanky goes to snort a line of coke. Sneezes. ~ unlucky
fastlane
Post watermelon head post haste.
fastlane
Spanky volunteers to help inner city kids, shot in drive by. ~ unlucky
BeachGoat
Happy Day to Ya, Long May Ye Wave It
BeachGoat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4ShbuhpRlo&feature=youtu.be
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Okay here's a+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: I SWEAR I was+
MstrLance
Happy Birthday, Spanky! You're in your prime for the 13th time.
MstrLance
I bet it's well manicured.
middle_age+
Try to picture Joan River's meep during the exam. It'll save some embarassment.
BigDinWaun+
spanky... You Goshdarn two-faced Gemini!
middle_age+
Don't kid yourself, you'll cry yourself to sleep after the next physical. Happy birthday you middle aged meepgot.
dragonstaf+
Happy birthday. Post pic for photoshopping.
sunny77
today on linkswarm, spanky unsuccessfully attempts to change the subject
spankerchi+
Or: Nine years before getting the pickle jar treatment.
spankerchi+
Change of topic; I'm 41 today.
spankerchi+
Ummm...
sunny77
:|
sunny77
:
middle_age+
The doc went at me like he was trying to get the last pickle out of the jar.
Pepper
Home Sweet meeping Home! Ahhhh...
nurglets
on Camphone Thread: img20120525114046qK5th.jpg
BeachGoat
Tell the GrandMonkey, "He's Dancing with the Tree!"
BeachGoat
There is a 400lb Senegalese Tortoise down the street who has a tree stump for a girlfriend.
BigDinWaun+
My pet Gerbil is dry meep a mound of cedar bedding? What gives?
BigDinWaun+
One of those old Republican Women's Cookbooks or French Gastronomy in Africa?
BigDinWaun+
I'm trying to fashion a rattle and pacifier out of chicken gibblets... does anyone have any references for this... one of those old Republican Women
linkswarm
queue: New link: security forces in Mexico have raided a workshop making fake Mexican military uniforms and body armour.
BeachGoat
"It's a Boy!"
BeachGoat
http://upload.linkswarm.com/i/beachgoat/pullingporkLSg.jpg
spankerchi+
Let the baby roast rest for an hour, then have your guests help pull the meat. Everyone will have fond memories of the event to cherish FOREVER!
spankerchi+
Just remember to give yourself plenty of time for cooking (a field-dressed baby can weigh upwards of 30 lbs and take a FULL DAY to cook!)
spankerchi+
I prefer free range, breast fed toddler as there's more dense muscle mass.
linkswarm
queue: New link: Bachmann's political mentor.
BigDinWaun+
Do you keep them penned up like veal and infuse them with formula or mother's milk? I hear formula fed babies have a medicinal taste. I don't want that for the party.... I would be a terrible host.
spankerchi+
No need to leave the skin on. A toddler's got a lot of good marbling.
spankerchi+
I'd go dry rub and smoke it like a picnic meep.
BeachGoat
HOME!...That is all
BigDinWaun+
Can anyone recommend a Masala that flavors flesh?
sunny77
however much is in a can of coconut cream
MstrLance
Trans-fat or poly-unsaturated?
BigDinWaun+
How many fat calories in a small, American toddler?
MstrLance
MIT's new coating should help with that.
hoyaguru
clipswarmed MstrLance's Dogs Shot by Police
linkswarm
queue: New link: MIT's Freaky Non-Stick Coating Keeps Ketchup Flowing
dragonstaf+
Ahh. One of those.
dragonstaf+
Not to my knowledge. Details please.
spankerchi+
That's when you take a really greasy meep and before the meep hits the water it grabs onto your meep hair and swings from tuft to tuft around your a##hole.
spankerchi+
Speaking of hair removal products; Have you ever taken a Tarzan Sh#t?
  • beachgoat

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