Fatal Consequences of Excessive Masturbation

Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over production of meep hormones

Decider: Admin

ummm .. yup ... hold on lemme check the list ... yep ... this makes it official ... EVERYTHING IS BAD FOR YOU.

everything in exess is bad for you, even vitamin c, you must learn to moderate young grasshopper

  • iron

  • Jan06 '04

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Now this is the way I know I will go. But what my tombstone should say about it will require some thought. " He DID himself in???" my epitaph?

Well, if this is how I am gonna die, then at least I know I was happy for the moment or two before. Though, I always thought I was gonna die of a heart attack after masturbating, not from the act itself.

  • MadTurk

  • Jan06 '04

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Every masturbation article on this "HerbalLove" site smacks of 19th-century meep vice norms. Onanism - the deadly sin! Egad, once they were telling us we'd grow hair from masturbating, now they're telling us we'll lose it. And they make it sound oh-so-scientific - acetylcholine, my meep.

I'm rather skeptical of thier "expert," Dr. N.K. Lin: "Dr Lin has successfully bridged the Eastern Taoism and Western Science, by offering numerous Americans with his advices and recommendations." meep, if that's all it takes to bridge the cultural gap in medical knowledge developed over thousands of years of human history, I wish I'd known: I'd go give my sociological advices to numerous "easterns" and become famous.

And what about that other article, "How much is too much?" No more meep/masturbation than 2-3 times per week? Sounds like Dr. Mitchell might just be a bit disgruntled by the fact that he never gets invited to the right parties. Rather, he stays home and saps his "bioenergy" to the incoherent bondage chat sent to him by the fat chick he met in the HerbalLove IRC.

Crikey.

  • MadTurk

  • Jan06 '04

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Could you tell I'm not getting any tonite?

Just tonight?

One other side effect: women will have far less spending money and more time in which to not have it.

Jeez, 2 to 3 times a week isn't a lot. 2 to 3 times a day is more like it, but what I do in my spare time is no ones business...What about porn stars? I'm sure they would have sucmeepb to the incredibly high chemical levels in their brains after having meep 12 hours a day.

  • vasudeva

  • Jan07 '04

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Maybe that explains their general dumbth?

Hey, anonymous person! Log in and comment.
BeachGoat
on Linkswarm's West Coast Treasure Hunt, Pirate Party and Bad-meep Barbecue.(Planning Stage): Oh, yeah,+
spankerchi+
on Linkswarm's West Coast Treasure Hunt, Pirate Party and Bad-meep Barbecue.(Planning Stage): Sweet!
Crapalicio+
LINK: security forces in Mexico have raided a workshop making fake Mexican military uniforms and body armour.
linkswarm
queue: New link: Mao Sugiyama Cooks, Serves Own Genitals At Banquet In Tokyo
BigDinWaun+
fastlane fosters a pen-pal/lover relationship with a terrorist who blew up herself just yesterday - unlucky
BigDinWaun+
fastlane tries out his first gloryhole - blown by disease ridden mule that likes to snap carrots in half - very unlucky
sunny77
on MIT's Freaky Non-Stick Coating Keeps Ketchup Flowing: it seems as though+
graycube
on MIT's Freaky Non-Stick Coating Keeps Ketchup Flowing: I mean after all+
graycube
on MIT's Freaky Non-Stick Coating Keeps Ketchup Flowing: Why are they wearing+
fastlane
And how could I forget Pepper as she attempts to scare a wild animal. Honey badger doesn't give a meep.~ unlucky
fastlane
Sunny goes to baby a shower. Drowns.~ unlucky
fastlane
Dragonstaff wears a buIIetproof vest. Shot in the face. ~ unlucky
fastlane
BigD meeps the meep out of a girl. Literally.~ unlucky
fastlane
BeachGoat bends over to pick up hot girI's dropped books. meeps. ~ unlucky
fastlane
M_A_M means to write "kk" to black friend on Facebook chat. Adds extra k. ~ unlucky
fastlane
MstrLance finally goes to summer camp. Auschwitz. ~ Unlucky
fastlane
Spanky goes to snort a line of coke. Sneezes. ~ unlucky
fastlane
Post watermelon head post haste.
fastlane
Spanky volunteers to help inner city kids, shot in drive by. ~ unlucky
BeachGoat
Happy Day to Ya, Long May Ye Wave It
BeachGoat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4ShbuhpRlo&feature=youtu.be
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: Okay here's a+
spankerchi+
on Spanky's Pic Place: I SWEAR I was+
dragonstaf+
LINK: MIT's Freaky Non-Stick Coating Keeps Ketchup Flowing
MstrLance
Happy Birthday, Spanky! You're in your prime for the 13th time.
MstrLance
I bet it's well manicured.
middle_age+
Try to picture Joan River's meep during the exam. It'll save some embarassment.
BigDinWaun+
spanky... You Goshdarn two-faced Gemini!
middle_age+
Don't kid yourself, you'll cry yourself to sleep after the next physical. Happy birthday you middle aged meepgot.
dragonstaf+
Happy birthday. Post pic for photoshopping.
sunny77
today on linkswarm, spanky unsuccessfully attempts to change the subject
spankerchi+
Or: Nine years before getting the pickle jar treatment.
spankerchi+
Change of topic; I'm 41 today.
spankerchi+
Ummm...
sunny77
:|
sunny77
:
middle_age+
The doc went at me like he was trying to get the last pickle out of the jar.
StartRecor+
on Emanuela Orlandi Was 'Kidnapped For Vatican meep Parties,' Claims Father Gabriele Amorth: the only thing+
Pepper
Home Sweet meeping Home! Ahhhh...
nurglets
on Camphone Thread: img20120525114046qK5th.jpg
BeachGoat
Tell the GrandMonkey, "He's Dancing with the Tree!"
BeachGoat
There is a 400lb Senegalese Tortoise down the street who has a tree stump for a girlfriend.
BigDinWaun+
My pet Gerbil is dry meep a mound of cedar bedding? What gives?
BigDinWaun+
One of those old Republican Women's Cookbooks or French Gastronomy in Africa?
BigDinWaun+
I'm trying to fashion a rattle and pacifier out of chicken gibblets... does anyone have any references for this... one of those old Republican Women
linkswarm
queue: New link: security forces in Mexico have raided a workshop making fake Mexican military uniforms and body armour.
BeachGoat
"It's a Boy!"
BeachGoat
http://upload.linkswarm.com/i/beachgoat/pullingporkLSg.jpg
spankerchi+
Let the baby roast rest for an hour, then have your guests help pull the meat. Everyone will have fond memories of the event to cherish FOREVER!
spankerchi+
Just remember to give yourself plenty of time for cooking (a field-dressed baby can weigh upwards of 30 lbs and take a FULL DAY to cook!)
spankerchi+
I prefer free range, breast fed toddler as there's more dense muscle mass.
linkswarm
queue: New link: Bachmann's political mentor.
BigDinWaun+
Do you keep them penned up like veal and infuse them with formula or mother's milk? I hear formula fed babies have a medicinal taste. I don't want that for the party.... I would be a terrible host.
spankerchi+
No need to leave the skin on. A toddler's got a lot of good marbling.
spankerchi+
I'd go dry rub and smoke it like a picnic meep.
BeachGoat
HOME!...That is all
BigDinWaun+
Can anyone recommend a Masala that flavors flesh?
sunny77
however much is in a can of coconut cream
pete56
LINK: Penn Jilette on Obama's drug hypocrisy
MstrLance
Trans-fat or poly-unsaturated?
BigDinWaun+
How many fat calories in a small, American toddler?
godevilliv+
LINK: Emanuela Orlandi Was 'Kidnapped For Vatican meep Parties,' Claims Father Gabriele Amorth
MstrLance
MIT's new coating should help with that.
graycube
on Michael McKean (somewhat famous Linkswarmer) found naked in tragic meep car accident: I play banjo.
hoyaguru
clipswarmed MstrLance's Dogs Shot by Police
BeachGoat
on Michael McKean (somewhat famous Linkswarmer) found naked in tragic meep car accident: Well, even with a+
StartRecor+
on Michael McKean (somewhat famous Linkswarmer) found naked in tragic meep car accident: i think he might+
BigDinWaun+
on Michael McKean (somewhat famous Linkswarmer) found naked in tragic meep car accident: He could just be+
linkswarm
queue: New link: MIT's Freaky Non-Stick Coating Keeps Ketchup Flowing
dragonstaf+
Ahh. One of those.
dragonstaf+
Not to my knowledge. Details please.
spankerchi+
That's when you take a really greasy meep and before the meep hits the water it grabs onto your meep hair and swings from tuft to tuft around your a##hole.
dragonstaf+
on Michael McKean (somewhat famous Linkswarmer) found naked in tragic meep car accident: The real question is+
spankerchi+
Speaking of hair removal products; Have you ever taken a Tarzan Sh#t?
spankerchi+
Ugh...too much barbecue pork.
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