Doug Stanhope's Take On Climate Change

So unless your a meep, just keep your mouth shut.

The reason no one points this out is because doing so makes you a complete meep.

CAP AND TRADE CHILDREN.

^ China has been doing just that for years and aside from increasing the infant mortality rate for infants born without penises (peni?) it seems to be working out pretty well for them.

flake: Why does mentioning it make you a meep?

As far as I can tell, overpopulation and limited resources (including land area) are the root causes of almost every major global socioeconomic problem that we haven't been able to effectively solve.

Fixing the symptoms of the problems individually isn't a solution. That's like treating the flu with painkillers and cough suppressant: if the flu continues to worsen, you'll eventually die from it anyway.

Increasing the amount of available resources is impossible; increasing their efficiency is possible, although it gets more and more difficult to do so, so that isn't a solution.

The only solution left, it seems, is to limit human reproduction, and you can't expect people to do this on their own, so you have to tell them.

In fact, overpopulation is, without a doubt, the singular cause of profound poverty. The only guaranteed solution to this is to restrict reproduction.

People in the first world have everything; it is an ethical imperative that they withhold procreation. The only alternative is to distribute their wealth completely, and who has the discipline to do that while watching their workmates eat at Outback and buy flat-panel TVs? It would be inexcusable for a first-worlder to suggest that a third-worlder make further sacrifices to solve world poverty.

First-worlders who procreate are downright selfish. They are the meeps, sir; and they don't like it when more disciplined, ethical, and rational people meep in their meeping Cheerios, however politely.

This is what Douggie was trying to say.

Go ahead and pull out, you will prevent a self loathing meep from being born. Meanwhile in 3rd world countries where the majority of the worlds population is the meeping continues

In fact, overpopulation is, without a doubt, the singular cause of profound poverty.

That point is generally argued the other way around.

Anyone with half a brain knows that you replace yourself and stop. Godmeepers keep on breeding to the point of extinction. I got fixed at age 20, after ONE. I have raised plenty of kids. They are plentiful and available if you feel the need to have them. If you make any more than two, and you are a planet killer, you EVIL meep. Kill yourself, and all your children, you selfish, doom causing monkeys.

That point is generally argued the other way around.

By people who don't like meep in their Cheerios. If being poor causes you to meep, then their meeping isn't what is making people poor.

Beachgoat: At this point, it's my opinion that you're an evil meep if you have one single child. I can see how you can be reasonably well-intentioned and feel like it's ok to have two, and I begrudgingly respect the view- I think it's wrong, though. Just sayin'.

If you make any more than two, and you are a planet killer, you EVIL meep.

I have three boys and a girl and that's enough for me. I'm too old to raise more monkeys and still be able to spend a fair amount of time fishing, flying kites, throwing baseballs, bandaging knees and wiping away tears.

...and yes, I'm a planet killer. My wife and I have replaced ourselves twice. Please go kill yourself and richard_parker to fix this problem, ASAP.

You would have a much better life if people like you didn't exist. You wouldn't appreciate it, though.

If being poor causes you to meep, then their meeping isn't what is making people poor.

Everybody meeps, people with some kind of life outside of scrounging enough sustenance to stay alive value that bonus and arrange their lives to have time to enjoy their 'leisure'. This usually involves not having 9 children.

SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE.

There should be a law that you can't have a child unless you can buy him/her a beemer for their sixteenth birthday.

god: I'm aware of the argument. Compare it to the opposing argument. It doesn't stand up to Occam's razor by far.

Alright richard_parker and other population-control enthusiasts: Who decides who gets the right to reproduce? I'll do whatever the meep I want with my jizm. Try to tell me otherwise and get skeeted on.

i'm funnier than doug stanhope whence farting into a bread pan

^ I can verify this.

flake: Nobody decides. Ethical people try their best not to have children, and everyone else is selfish. That's what I'm trying to say. You claim he's a meep, but you're a meep. And that's fine. Let's just be honest with ourselves.

This is the problem with ethics. We have to stick with them. We can't violate them to make sure people other than us don't violate them. I mean, it's not morality, here. It's ethics.

• Ethical people try their best not to have children, and everyone else is selfish.*

HAHAHA. Don't worry so much, bro. Sometimes kids die a horrible death and the parents have committed no foul :D

You meeping communist hippie fascist scientist.

^_^ Way to look at the bright side. Actually, I'm not really so worried about it. I used to be, but there's no point. I will, however, do whatever I can to possibly cause a little guilt. If I can get to someone just a little bit, they'll either carry it around in their subconscious for a long time, or harden up in reaction, becoming a little more selfish in general, and karma will take it from there ~_^

^^^

richarparker, the most rational way to live your life (ie your most effective robot self) is to be as unethical as possible while appearing to be ethical. why a sociopath like you would adhere to a moral or ethical code is beyond me.

...Are you serious?

^ You won't be allowed to reproduce anyway, so you may as well start pretending that it was your decision all along and not the decision of the women who will never meep you.

I can't believe I had to wait for three full days for someone to whip that one out.

The point I was hoping to make was that we have a very real problem with the sheer number of humans on this little planet.

Whether or not you agree with it, the fact is that there's a limit to space and resources. Sure, the populations of second and third world countries will keep growing no matter what we do, but how long should the rest of the world be burdened with the feeding of these poor people if the cause is an iron-clad refusal to improve education, government and resource management? When you think about it, we've surrendered so many rights in order to live in what we call a society: You need to meet certain standards to do things like serve food in a resaurant, to drive a car, to own a home, etc, etc. Why is it that people can't comprehend that you should not have children that you cannot provide for? Is the idea of meeting the requirement of actually being able to feed, clothe and educate a child so very hard to agree to? You have to do it to get a pet from the pet store for meep's sake.

Spanky, impoverished people have no more children than the average first world mothermeeper who is uneducated and has no access to (or does not use) birth control. For the vast majority of people out there, their means have absolutely no bearing on their probability to have a child or the number of children they have. People are going to meep NO MATTER WHAT.

Expecting the poor to stop reproducing and being upset that they don't is merely a tactic to make yourself feel better for doing permanent damage to the world. You know it's your fault deep down, and you bury the guilt with this flimsy rationalization.

It is just meeping selfish to blame the poor for overpopulation. It is the duty of the educated to stop overpopulation. It is the duty of those with access to birth control to stop overpopulation.

You want to meep about overpopulation? Do something about it. Don't have kids. Support legislation to produce and export enough birth control to third world countries to fix the problem. Yes. Suggest to you legislators that they remove money from you paycheck so that this problem can be fixed.

If you're not willing to fix it, shut the meep up. If you're going to continue to delude yourself to maintain your sunny disposition, you may as well start going to church, too. Jesus loves you no matter what and you are not responsible for any of your failures because it was part of his will.

Have kids? Fine. Just don't complain about gas prices.

Heh. Funny. I have two kids from one marriage and had a vasectomy after the second one was born. -Because I felt that that was my limit.

My ex had a baby girl with her new boyfriend. He turned out to be a chester and got himself incarcerated. I adopted that girl.

Now tell me what YOU'VE done to make the world a better place, kid.

^ this is a textbook example of someone with a life experience comprised primarily of textbook knowledge.

Birth control and edumacation isn't going to change the fact that the human race is hardwired to reproduce. The strongest instincts of the human race are: self preservation, reproduction and the protection of our young. Unless you've figured out how to undo millions of years of evolution, your entire ''reeducation'' idea is nothing but a naive pipe dream based on a complete lack understanding of the human condition.

People who support population control as a form of correcting the planets ills, should meep off unless they are willing to allow humans to meeping die and/or kill them.

Haiti: meep them.

The middle east: genocide it.

Africa: genocide it.

Every failed eastern block meep hole: genocide it.

Eradicate charity of all kinds, especially programs that feed the poor. If they're poor, they deserve to die.

Hospitals: meep them. Survival of the fittest, mothermeepers.

Agriculture: meep it. It is the single largest enabler of overpopulation. Manking needs to return to it's hunter gatherer state if it is to ever have it's population properly controlled by nature.

Governments: Eradicate them. Governments protect citizens regardless of their negative or positive contributions to the world because governments need citizens to fund them. The world needs less citizens, therefore it needs less government interference while the fittest on this planet eradicate the weakest. I would expect that your spindly bookworm, pale, narrow meep would fall into the latter of those two categories. Especially since you have no clue how to hunt and gather for survival, meepgot.

Higher Education: It's useless. If man is to be in compliance with the earth and nature, man must remain ignorant of science and the evils of technological progress. These man made evils meep up the natural order of nature and the food chain that we are a part of. Guns, heating systems, electricity, etc all allow man to escape their proper and extremely vulnerable place in natures chaotic order.

I could go on but I'm sure your smartypants meep get's the point. I'm also quite certain that you're far to ''educated'' to admit that your birth control ideas are as retarded as your social skills and meep life.

That was obviously aimed at R_P and spankie got in my meeping way like a meeping kid begging for quarters in a third world tourist trap.

(Steps gracefully aside)

and take all your damned kids with you :)

Hah :)

spank, first of all, I don't have any children and I'm 27. I couldn't find any statistics, but I'm sure the average number for someone of my age is around 2, plus/minus 1/2. Also, my current income is a third to a quarter of what it has the potential to be, so that eventually I can do something that will positively change the world, rather than babysit some meep engineers. People like me are the reason we have GPS, TV, modern automobiles, meep, electronics in general (the transistor, thank you space program)... jesus christ, like, everything you take for granted on a day-to-day basis besides indoor plumbing. Did YOU have direct relatives in combat roles in the military just before we dropped the bombs on Japan? You can thank my people for your existence, then. You're welcome for the internet, too, by the way.

Look, I don't know if you just want to write that off as insignificant, but you probably cashed in and tried to make as much as you could the second you needed to or could make what you considered a decent wage, like most people do. Also, I bet your first two kids were accidents. I didn't have any of those. Props on the adoption, though (seriously). I'm sure you've contributed to the world in some ways that I haven't. Don't question me anymore and I won't question you. Wotak, on the other hand, has probably only sucked a paycheck out of society his whole life. Speaking of:

'tak, I specified that people meep no matter what. I believe that was point number one. Did you really forget that quickly?

I doubt you'd argue that we could put semi-permanent birth control in every woman on the planet who wanted it every five years for less than 50 billion/year, probably less (spread that 50 bil across the wealthy nations according to GDP, nonsacrifice). Incentivize the poor somehow for a miniscule fraction of that 50 bil, overpopulation solved in no more than 100 years. Couple that with some other, relatively cheap and easy economic policies, poverty and resource scarcity: eradicated.

'Sounds too good to be true. Why haven't we done this, then' you say? Humanities' overwhelming greed. If we can't even suggest in public that people should only have one kid without being looked down upon, how do you expect we can mobilize a nation to actually make a small sacrifice to help someone else? We can't. Because of you and meepers like you.

And that 'survival of the fittest' argument holds water like colander, and you know it. I'm not even going to address it.

Also, don't try to pull that experience bullmeep on me. For every person who is older than me that knows better, I can find two that are younger than you and know better. Furthermore, the more time someone spends getting their 'book larnin', ' the happier, wealthier, more disciplined, politically savvy, ethical, and generous one is likely to be. Don't show your meep by trying to contradict this, because there is proof everywhere. Please try to find out for yourself, first, before you open you misinformation hole.

Spoken like the 'self-absorbed-self-important-career-student-riding-Papa's-wallet-into-eternity' meepgot that we all know you to be.

Thank you for this classic example of unbridled unjustifiable college student arrogance. It often displayed by characters who have never accomplished anything. Mankind owes you nothing, kiddo.

Pro Tip: You will never change the world, meepo.

Did YOU have direct relatives in combat roles in the military just before we dropped the bombs on Japan? You can thank my people for your existence, then. You're welcome for the internet, too, by the way.

Oh, and you can thank the bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima for contributing to overpopulation, dummy. That war could have killed hundreds of millions more people than it did if the Japanese hadn't called off the fight. That would have been EXCELLENT for mother earth.

Did YOU have direct relatives in combat roles in the military just before we dropped the bombs on Japan?

Yes. My granddad built airfields I served six years in the navy sweating my meep off in an engine room doing big circles around Bahrain and off the coast of Florida, pulling live and dead Hatians out of the water.

Also, I bet your first two kids were accidents.

Nope totally planned. (The ex wife turning out to be a cheating meep was not something I reckoned on, though.)

You speak pretty easily about 'people like me' and 'people like you' and who owes what to whom. I hope you live long enough to come to grips with the fact that your entire education and all these scientific advancements you're silly enough to try and take credit for are the result of the combined labor of generations of people who were(let's face it) better than you or me.

We play small parts, you and I.

Try a little humility.

I doubt you'd argue that we could put semi-permanent birth control in every woman on the planet who wanted it every five years for less than 50 billion/year, probably less (spread that 50 bil across the wealthy nations according to GDP, nonsacrifice). Incentivize the poor somehow for a miniscule fraction of that 50 bil, overpopulation solved in no more than 100 years. Couple that with some other, relatively cheap and easy economic policies, poverty and resource scarcity: eradicated.

Overpopulation isn't a problem for the planet at all. The planet, nature and life will exist long after the earth has shaken the troublesome humans off it's back like so many meeping fleas.

Overpopulation is a problem for humans and other life forms. Nature could solve that problem in the wink of an eye. In fact, science tells us that it has; probably several times.

There is no program that science can dream up that will stop overpopulation (except extermination in ultra-large quantities) that is anywhere near as efficient as what nature will do all by itself.

You see, we're really not as important as you seem to think we are. Our cultures, our governments, our arts and our sciences are but a paltry few grains of sand in the historical record of this planet. It will be here doing it's thing long after we've figured out how to become extinct and I'm perfectly comfortable with that. Global warming and overpopulation are unsolvable without mass genocides or ''natural disasters'' (random acts of nature) killing billions.

It's a desperate and pathetic grasp at straws that reeks of naivety to think that humans can educate themselves out of overpopulation and the ills that it creates in our habitat.

Try this, wotak, seriously: Sit down, and try your meeping damndest to convince yourself that people in first-world countries should NOT reproduce; but if they just can't meeping help it, not more than once. Muster all the compassion you have in the cold, dead, slimy hunk of maggoty meat in your chest that functions in a manner similar the the manner in which a heart functions in normal people, and if you make an assumtion like, for example, 'most of the poor in third-world countries try very hard, and would contribute to society given the opportunity,' DO NOT DISCOUNT IT AS FALSE unless you can debunk it with 95% certainty (don't worry, this works in your favor in a second). You should, if you've done this correctly, have come up with many, many ways to successfully justify the claim.

Now, do the opposite. Come up with as many reasons as you can to discount the claim, using any assumptions you can't discount with 95% certainty (be fair, now, on both sides). I have faith you'll find plenty of ammo.

Here, though, is the moment of truth. At this point, you are forced to make a decision. You have facts supporting both sides (if you have done your due diligence), and unless one side of the facts outweighs the other (which they don't, as far as I can tell), you're left with your assumptions. So it comes down to error. Would you rather error on the side of compassion and principle, or practicality and self-preservation.

Don't let the fact that I've revealed the suprising conclusion prevent you from conducting this experiment. This is an excellent way to remove self-delusion and personal bias from your decision-making process.

spank: your entire education and all these scientific advancements you're silly enough to try and take credit for are the result of the combined labor of generations of people who were(let's face it) better than you or me

I did not take credit for any of that. There was an implication in what I said, and I would have been greatful if you had given me the benefit of the doubt.

Scientific progression over the generations has greatly benefitted most humans on an individual level, and is one of humanities' greatest feats, and no single scientist is alone responsible for any significant fraction of it. Everyone who has willfully and effortfully contributed has claim to some of the honor. Next to those who have no claim, though, it is a fairly small group of people. I am one of those who does have claim, though.

SO, most of the things in your life that you desire so greatly as to give up a significant portion of you wealth and time, are due to, in that sense, people like me. Not only that, but I have sacrificed much personally, on principal, contrary to my desires, to do you, and humanity as a whole, this service, despite that fact that I don't like people as individuals, in general.

That's what I've done to make the world a better place, and you owe me thanks, just as I owe you and everyone else who adopts children a great deal of thanks. This is mutually understood (I hope) and the thanks are silent.

This is kind of impotant to me because it's why I feel justified in having a strong opinion. Also, for the record, when I said 'people like you' I was referring to wotak. I know less about you than wotak, but from what I know you seem to have earned the right to have your opinion respected for a few reasons (although I'd give you the benefit of the doubt). Wotak, on the other hand, doesn't seem to hold opinions based on anything past his convenience, so even when I agree with him, he's still a douch for having that opinion.

'tak: riding-Papa's-wallet

Ga state hope scholarship for undergrad, stipends for grad. We've talked about this before.

Mankind owes you nothing

This is why I have no children. You seem to be the one who feels he can take from mankind.

you can thank the bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima for contributing to overpopulation

Population control by murder is barbaric. Ethics, man. Get some.

Our cultures, our governments, our arts and our sciences are but a paltry few grains of sand in the historical record of this planet and the rest of you trying to be insightful.

Irrelavent. As you said, 'Overpopulation is a problem for humans.' I happen to be one of those. I'm trying to solve my problem.

There is no program that science can (you could have said virtually anything here)

You don't know meep about science. Any science. Therefore, you could have instead said, 'hgjkhagklh' and it would have had as much meaning. I rest my case on this point.

It's a desperate and pathetic grasp at straws that reeks of naivety to think that humans can educate themselves out of overpopulation and the ills that it creates in our habitat.

So, this was the summation of that last post. I'm glad you summerized yourself, because it demonstrates your self-delusion. You've basically said, 'I can't think of a solution, so there isn't one,' and you allow that to be the extent of your deliberation. Because it's convenient for you. I do this, everyone does this, but you seem to put an especially small amount of effort into not doing it. While your at it, you might as well start going to church. Jesus loves you no matter what, and you're not personally responsible for anything you do because it's all part of his will. It's the ultimate get out of jail free card! Awesome!!!

Overpopulation and problems like global warming will tip the scales of nature far enough to cause the deaths of billions of humans. Nature has a way of self righting in situations like these. It has been doing so since long before man arrived and will do so long after we're gone.

My argument with you is that you believe the humans on this planet can decide to come together to control births to reduce population for the good of all. Your entire theory is meeping retarded. Humans can't even come together to figure out what language to speak or what economic system to use or who's religion is right... etc, etc.

If you think that the planets richest can convince the planets poorest to stop breeding, then you are a naive idiot. Why would China want to reduce it's population beyond the controls it already has in place? It's entire meeping economy relies on having meep-loads of poor in place to exploit in the name of building your meeping video game systems and iPods.

Why would any Muslim community on the planet NOT want to breed like rabbits in order to replace the self exploding martyrs and continure building the very numbers that give their movement strength?

How do you plan to convince the world's Catholics that their religion is wrong and that meep wasn't meant only for procreation? ...and that because rich folks say they should use birth control, they should turn their backs on their religion? ...or just not meep.

How do you plan to decide who can meeping breed and how can you possibly enforce that because that's just meeping stupid.

Your idealistic concept that the worlds rich should somehow manage the poor as if they are cattle is meeping retarded and is obviously a convenient way for you ensure that you are a part of the world ruling class.

Nature doesn't work that way and billions of humans will never agree to allow the first world to tell them when they can breed. The concept would not meeping work. Period. Ever.

The good news is, nature already has a plan in place for overpopulation and it's in effect right now. Overpopulation eventually causes starvation, disease, uninhabitable ecosystems, extinction, increased competition for scarce resources (in humans this means more and more war) and sometimes it even jump starts evolutionary leaps - but one thing is certain: nature doesn't need man's help to re-balance the scales once they've been tipped far enough... and many scientists believe that it's already too meeping late to stop the deaths of billions. (I agree with this)

So why is global warming bad?

Because it will kill large quantities of the humans who are speeding it up?

But, gee... doesn't that make it good?

If you sit back and understand what a meeping retarded illusion your economic status solutions are when faced with the power and historical resume of nature itself - perhaps you'll understand how meeping fragile an illusion and and just how ridiculous your economic status and delusions of power and control really are... and at that point you'll understand why your infantile concept of fixing overpopulation through education and economics is just plain retarded.

On the other hand, you've made a career out of being an idealistic, self-centered meep, so there may be no convincing you of just how weak and pathetic YOU are. But believe this: nature will have no problems convincing you and on the scale of our global ecosystem you and your ideas are truly pathetic.

It's the fact that you can't see this that makes you the delusional retard that you are.

Don't have to convince people to stop breeding. Give those who want it free arim-inserty-thingie birth control. It is not required for everyone to take them to work. Not even most people. Just a lot. We could probably cut the birthrate by a third that way- enough to slow the growth to a reasonable level.

The fact that you don't believe the enough people can come together to enact a solution does not give you a license to exacerbate the problem. If everyone that is waiting for the movement to get underway to support it because they don't think that enough people will support the movement until it's underway would stop being a waste of resources and just start helping, then we'd have enough people to get meep done. And they all know that. They just won't get going because they're lazy and selfish. THEREFORE, if you understand the problem, you are ethically bound to act, otherwise, you are selfish.

I never claimed that we could get enough people together to change things. I merely asserted that you're a meep if you don't help. Even if things never change, you are still a selfish meep. Even if things never change, I didn't punk out.

It's called principle, man. Principal is not dependant on or affected by outcome.

planned parenthood has free condoms

just another reason to believe that you have never had meep and know nothing about it

but thanks for the limp (lol) philosophy!

You grossly overestimate the momentum of the average human being. This is specifically why I propose 5-year deals.

it sounds like what you'd prefer is to sterilize people

I'm going to do my part to speed up global warming in an effort to combat overpopulation.

All humans are selfish when resources are scarce. People kill other people for food and shelter everyday on this planet. In that situation, you wouldn't last a minute because in the reality of nature and survival, you are one of the weak. You hate this because you come from a culture that offers economic reward for intellectual property. In the real world both of these things are man made illusions.

The difference between you and I is simple and it's not negotiable. I understand that humans are unimportant and that they are as predatory and as capable of murder for survival as any other mammal on this planet - and you don't.

I understand that humans don't want to work together to resolve their differences and figure out how to share resources. They want to instead conquer the each other and take their resources - and you don't.

I understand that when economies and governments collapse under the weight of their own illusion, that it is the fittest, most adaptable, survival ready and brutal who are able to survive and continue on - and you don't.

I understand that kill or be killed is man's true nature - and you don't.

I understand that in nature instinct will always trump reason - and you don't.

I understand that you know nothing about how you would survive if the entire world was thrown into chaos due to some unforeseeable cosmic calamity - and you don't.

I understand that In a survival of the fittest competition for resources - I would could carve your pathetic meep up roast it over and open fire and serve it to my kids... - and you don't.

Noc: If that was true I would just say we should sterilize people.

'tak: You aren't in a fight for your survival. Also,

I would could carve your pathetic meep up

If you had the meep to try, you wouldn't have had to tell me. Alphas don't threaten. Who the meep are you trying to convince?

lol, you are made of meat and being a member of the weaker half of mankind, you are a potential food source for those of us who are not only stronger but have evil, earth destroying children to feed.

If an apocalypse ever happens or if our government ever falls, I'm heading for the nearest building full of self-proclaimed scientists to hunt for my food, neutrino boy. That's not a threat, it's a description of a possible future food source.

I say snuff everybody over 65 and have everybody that's left roll a die (sic) and snuff everybody who rolls over a 4. If you can get the rest of the world to agree, I'll go first.

Carousel at 30.

Renew!!