Today is the first day of 2012 and despite whatever the idiots who take the Mayans seriously say, it's going to be an okay year. (Seriously folks, things'll work out.)
I spent New Year's Eve at home with the kids and dwelt on what I want to make happen this year;
Oh, I won't bore you with the usual "lose 10 pounds" "be a nicer person", etc.
Instead, I'm focusing on my extended family (you guys) so this year I wanna do something REALLY special for the next West Coast Get-Together, but also I want to do something for me.
While all the planning is going down, I'm gonna put some honest effort into finding my muse.
You know; somebody who'll (among other, FAR more important things) gently steer me from one project to another, help with ideas and just keep me from feeling like it's all empty effort.
:Brace for smallish wall of text:
You all know that I keep mentioning that I was a real smeepbag when I was younger.
Well that wasn't an exaggeration. I was BAD.
I'm still not certain that I don't have some form of aspergers, because sometimes it's impossible for me to see why some things(like religion, expensive cars, huge weddings, etc.) are so important to people.
Lately I've gotten pretty good at just letting it go. I can't make people think like me, so it's better in the long run to not try to "correct" them or "fix" things for them.
I'll still discuss it, but I won't get upset and press my case if you don't want to argue over it.
I'll reserve that special urge to "stomp on your pissy little world view" for our so-called "leaders" from here on.
So I've arrived at the height of my intellect.
But now look at me.
I'm a forty-year-old highly talented, gainfully employed, stable and secure...(sigh)...confirmed bachelor.
Who is also; Slowing down, bald as meep, doesn't dance(in public), is HORRIBLE at remembering names and is starting to look a little like Uncle Fester.
All the same, I've been letting chance after chance slip by...
That girl at the store who smiled a little longer than store policy requires...
The woman at work that everybody thinks is kind of mean (and possibly meep) but has never raised her voice to me...
All those meandering on-line conversations when I should've invited them out for coffee by the second E-mail...
That meep stops NOW.
I'm tired of being "used" to being alone.
Maybe this'll end horribly. Maybe she'll be a bigger burden than help. Maybe she'll cheat and flirt and cause me nothing but worry. Maybe she'll hate my kids.
I've let those worries(and sometimes truthes) keep me from even trying for too long.
The hunt is on.