Got stabbed by a coworker today.

My ribs are meeping killing me.
I'm stuck in refresher training this week. We were at the part where we brush up on our report writing, scene assessment and CPR today.
My job, (along with a younger and argueably more psychotic coworker named Lucas), was to suprise the rest of the staff with a staged fight and stabbing in the last hour of class. (This is my thirteenth time around, so needless to say, I could probably miss an hour or two)
Lucas was given a plastic meeper knife to plant in my armpit after I said something about his mother.
(Felt like an old melodrama, minus the piano.)

The new warden wandered in and had a seat, so OF COURSE we're gonna ham it up.

So we wander out to the hall and I start Ad Libbing something nasty about the money he owes me for servicing the old bag in visitation and how I'm gonna take it out of his meep right here and now and we start shoving each other as planned. I rear back, throw my arms wide in the classic "Whatcha gonna do meep?!" pose (that in real life pretty much guarantees a murder) and Lucas stabs me.
HARD.
In the ribs.

I let out a cut-off sort of yell that probably sounded like the real thing.
The knife snaps, but not before making a pretty good attempt to slide between the bones.
It was so fast that I didn't really feel it much, but I did a quick check to make sure I wasn't punctured before picking up the longest piece, tucking it into my armpit and running after him back into the classroom.
I clutched my side as I staggered to the front of the class, rasping; "You...son of a ...meep!" Then I fell to my knees on the wrestling mat in the front of the room and in a pitiful voice whispered; "God, I HATE that meep!" (With some real feeling.)
Before landing face down on the mat.

Dead silence.

The instructor's voice cuts in and I hear him say; "Now I want YOU and YOU to assess that inmate using the SETUP procedure and start CPR if necessary. The rest of you will write an incident report and I want it done before break.

So I get rolled over and spend a few minutes having some meep breathe in my face while another ruffles my good shirt, then I'm let up to some polite applause.

I wander back to my seat next to where Lucas is sitting and he says: "Dude...I got you in the ribs didn't I? Sorry 'bout that."

"No biggie" I said.

The reports were written, and of course no two matched. (People are horrible witnesses whatever you've been led to believe)

The only comment I heard was a fellow maintenance guy saying, "That was kinda meepin' weird."

So here I am at 11pm writing this while my side complains a little with each breath.
Part of me wonders at the logic in making an meep of myself in front of the new warden.
But most of me's thinking;

"Hah. That was FUN!"