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Awesome, I'm looking for a good lead guitarist. Can you be in my garage on Tuesdays and Fridays at 6:30 sharp?

I don't play leads too much, but I got melodies like nobodies business. I'll email you some guitar samples.

Jiffy Mix. My problem is Jiffy Mix. Sometimes I just want some blueberry muffins and crack open a box and see a massive spider sitting in a disturbingly large web inside.

That's an omen. Eat better food. ^

We go through a gallon of milk a day.

Also I want to learn how to play guitar.

We go through more milk than any normal family should and it's a weird distrustful relationship. Every time a bottle gets opened, it gets the sniff test. Fail the sniff test, and the bar is set pretty high, the entire bottle goes down the drain. No questions. After that it gets a taste. Even the slightest sign of not being right, the entire bottle goes down the drain. No questions.

I am also very distrustful of sour cream.

I'm too lazy to learn to play guitar, but I admire those who do.

I toss the sour cream only when it becomes a sea of white dotted with tiny blue-green islands.

How 'bout eggs? I've heard that they can be as much as 3 months removed from the hen by the time they're on display for your perusal.

Oh, and Alton, could you gimme some tips on keeping veggies fresher longer? meep celery, squash, apples and the like are good for about 3 days in the "crisper" drawer.

Also does anyone keep taters in the fridge?

Never store potatoes in the fridge. Adjust the humidity knob for them crispers, unless you have an 50s era 'ice box'. If so, just stash them in your root cellar. Never buy fresh veggies until the day you will use them, except for the meeps you use every day. Also, never tell a lie and attend church regularly.

My theory is that opened milk going bad much faster is due to the extra air you're now storing along with it in the cavity that used to be occupied by milk. Test this by storing your milk in a ziploc bag while running a bunch of tests, and let me know if I'm right.

linkswarm is now mythbusters.

if I have an opne bottle of fizzy soda, when i screw the cap back on i'll squeeze the bottle to expel any air, for the same reason as vas's excess air+milk theory.

my parents run a small grocery store, and every now and then will give me something that is a day or 2 past its date that they legally can't sell anymore and i just politefully take it, never telling them as soon as i get it home, or even before, it's thrown out.

what gets me, is when people (parents included) get a mouldy piece of cheese, and just cut off the offending mould and eat the remaining "good" part, even though they have perfectly good, in-date food in huge supplies in the shop to eat.

Um, Cheese is basically mold. Scraping foreign mold off of the mold you want to eat is par for the course with cheese. When it's aged, it cleverly coats itself with mold that imparts even more delicious flavor. Cheese rules.

Cheese is basically mold

I get this, and i really like smooth, uniformed coloured cheese, but I cant eat a veiny cheese or one like this:

my brain just cant accept that this mould can be eaten.

whats really meeped up is that i'll happily eat the rind off a french soft cheese like Camembert. I guess its just one of my mental hangups, go figure.

GIVE ME BACK THAT STILTON!

I know several people who fish and hunt and they all end up cleaning out their freezers a couple times a year. And they all know to call me. I pig out on halibut, salmon and venison more than anybody I know. Also basically adverse to wasting food on principle.

I'll take that challenge about the salmon and deer meat (only whiteys call it venison). I don't eat halibut anymore. I ate the meep out of that meep when I lived in Alaska, but I leave the white fish alone these days. I have never wasted any of my deer, and I eat salmon at the very least 3 times a week.

We cleaned out my parent's cabinets after Dad died and we found spices, canned goods and various grain mixes that were well beyond five years expired. We probably should have kept some as collectibles, some of the stores have been out of business since the late 80s.

Also, I'm tone deaf but would love to hear you play guitar.