my stomach hurts

Everyone has their critique of the high-gain, low value shopping outlets, so here's mine: Some times when you venture into one of these establishments, be it K-Mart, Wal-Mart, or whatever, you're going to encounter someone who thinks they need your meep more than you do. Either keep your wallet in your front pocket from here-on-out, dress like a regular, or act like a just-released violent offender whose just in the store to get your much-needed, mass produced meep (you might need temporary tatoos for this). Other than that, stay out of the ghetto and buy pants with meepons on the back pockets.

Dude that meepin sucks. I would take that $20 buy a bottle and wake up in the morning in my own meep.

Well, I always keep my wallet in the front pocket (learned behavior from much time spent in Europe). I have enough real tattoos to make finding a place for temporary tattoos fairly difficult. Generally, my wallet protection skillz are fairly good.

In my best approximation of what happened, due to the significantly increased width of said wallet (because of the cash), it somehow got caught and slipped out when I was unloading groceries, fumbling my janitor-esque key ring out of my pants, or juggling coupons and shopping lists in various pockets. I'm very surprised I didn't notice it exiting its home... but I am assuming the usual added stress of dealing with doing the missus' shopping for her (before this relationship, I've never shopped with coupons... while she only buys with coupons; yes, one of those women and now by osmosis, one of those men). I should have left the cash at home; I had put it in my wallet to make sure I remembered it on the way to the bank tomorrow, where some of it was going to be deposited to be able to write some checks that will be due soon.

I would like to think that the receiver of my funds is using it to make a late mortgage payment, avoiding foreclosure, or perhaps putting food on their table for their children. Much more likely is that the meep is breaking off a piece of some crack. Not even some good, soft, yellow, "meeper" crack, but some meepty meep, hard, bright white, 5 times cooked out meep crack, that they spent $30 on for each $20 piece that's actually only worth 5.

At least meeping spend it on some decent drugs, meep. If I wasn't so sure about the general educational level of SuperK shoppers, I'd be much more worried about the voided check or various cards that they left in the wallet. However, it seems they made a quick decision, that cutting and running with the cash only would save them alot of work, hassle, and more readily coming or functional trouble.

Oh, and the police, after politely telling me it was a different police force's jurisdiction (which is funny because the address sure is in the right town), followed up by stopping me before I hung out, hemming and hawing for a moment (supposedly to wait till their supervisor was out of listening range), let me know that even if I called the right department, there was basically no way to ever get a hold of my money again; not only that, but it was more than likely that the report wouldn't even be written, and I would be given a report number one digit short, so upon calling back they could accuse me of having written it wrong. Be thankful all your cards are there, the black woman on the phone advised me, and don't waste the time of the police, because -- you know -- they're not going to do their job, by, for instance, checking the store cameras for a face and license plate to follow up with. The police are far more too busy in this two horse, one K-12 school building town eating discounted food at King's and looking for higher paying jobs at the mall the next town over as security guards.

The next town over, by the way, is the home of SuperK, surrounded by a higher end mall, nicer big box stores such as Ikea and Macy's, every sit-down chain restaurant you can imagine, including the first IHOP in Pennsylvania, which has literally 1 to 2 hour waits to be seated. This latter example is one of the funniest things I have ever experienced, as I come from a state where IHOP is like a two-bit Denny's but worse... I don't think I've ever seen a even vaguely full parking lot back home except for possibly the after Church crowd on Sundays (ask me about how great of tippers those Christians are!). Definitely not the ghetto part of Pittsburgh, rather it's the major shopping center in the area.

I would like to think that the receiver of my funds is using it to make a late mortgage payment, avoiding foreclosure, or perhaps putting food on their table for their children. lol

Much more likely is that the meep is breaking off a piece of some crack. hey, truth.

that meep blows chunks, but at least...

nvm.

Yea my wife has washed my wallet so many times its practically attached to my belly meepon now, along with my cell phone.

It's actually too bad they didn't forge a check or use a card. With a bank involved cops are much more careful with details like filing accurate reports and checking security cameras. Those security cameras have put a lot of lowlifes in jail.

Yes I know it would have made things much more likely to go my way. What would have been even better would have been a situation of no cash being in my wallet and them either just taking the cards and check or just saying meep it in general. My appreciation of them leaving aforementioned items was fully in jest.

I feel there is an 80% chance that the person who took it wouldn't have even considered taking anything if there wasn't cash in there. All those presidents looking out at them made them feel super patriotic though!

Oh, my social security card was in there. So assuming a brighter shopping community, the lucky thief could have done (even more than already is done) damage to my credit or at least gained access to some banking information. Maybe they would have had more luck with First Niagra's customer service than I had.

Now if only there was some fast and easy way to replace that money...

Hey, do you have a gun?

meepsux dude, could have been worse as you already know, you still got all the cards and stuff that could cause even more of a longterm headache.

Everytime a little money finds its way into my pocket, it finds a way out very quickly... making it extremely difficult to get ahead.

I know this all too well. guaranteed something happens every month that sucks our cash dry before it's even deposited into the bank. last month the brakes failed on our car, before that bank charges, and so on and so on. no choice but to slog it out and feel comfort in the fact that you aren't alone.

Ya know, if you really need money, maybe you could rob a bank? I hear that usually works out pretty well.

I always let one of my staff carry my wallet. They know better than to lose it.

Funny, I just withdrew $3800 and it's sitting here in my pocket making me nervous. Perhaps I shall go to Big K-Mart!

At the time I was really fixated on this wierd experience of having a big envelope of money in my jeans pocket and trying to not forget it everywhere I went, but looking at my last comment now, you could read it a bit like I was meeping out over having a meepload of cash that I hadn't lost.

Which, I'm cool with that if you are.

And you magically turned that cash into this...

Which is way cooler than that turning water into wine meep...